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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I use a food bank in my situation?

519 replies

Lionking1981 · 19/08/2017 01:38

I am 200 pounds down on my normal wages this month due to taking unpaid parental leave when my Dd was ill. Overspent the first week of the month trying to occupy the kids. Then my oven broke and had to replace it. Been living out the freezer and store cupboard since. To cut the story short, I now have 30 pounds to survive 10 days til payday. I have 3 small joints of lamb in the freezer, a box
of waffles and some fish fingers. A few tins of baked beans, tomatoes and soup in cupboard.

My friend says to go to the foodbank but I am super uncomfortable about it. We earn over 40k between us and i don't think food banks are there for people like us but it is going to be really hard to feed a family of 4 on this. However, we will be fine next month. Would you just make do for the 10 days?

OP posts:
Auspiciouspanda · 19/08/2017 11:46

Our local credit union has an affordable payday loan without the horrendous charges, yours might also offer the same?

PovertyPain · 19/08/2017 11:47

I was genuinely grateful for everything I got and am now in a position to make regular donations back to the food bank. I'm glad your doing ok now. Isn't it the best feeling in the world to be able to help others, when you know what they're going through? I think those that are talking about no longer giving might benefit from having to use them, to appreciate their importance.

FreyaJade · 19/08/2017 11:47

My mum went through a stage when she was very poor but she would never ask for help from a food bank, she put her food on her credit card or extended her overdraft which even the lowest wage earner can do.

Go to Barclays OP they lent me money even when I was clearly mentally unwell with no way of paying it back.

RidingWindhorses · 19/08/2017 11:49

If food banks are giving out food to people like OP I feel a right mug. They aren't are they? Please tell me they aren't.

Food banks are used by people who have accidentally run out of money. Money management is a common issue. The OP may not be normally poor at budgeting, but it only takes a couple of misjudgements to be out.

I find the whole Victorian self-righteous finger-wagging only-for-the-deserving-poor tone of tone of this thread really distasteful.

RidingWindhorses · 19/08/2017 11:50

Not everyone has credit cards, they're expensive to run.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 19/08/2017 11:50

We're awed daily by the astonishing support that our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns – but we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster (emotionally or financially) than they can afford to spare.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 19/08/2017 11:52

Op there are some good Facebook groups like "feed yourself for £1 a day" which have many great ways to get by on a very low budget (the natural yoghurt pizza base is legendary there). Definitely been helpful to me when I've been struggling.
Also don't underestimate lentils, a lentil chilli with lots of kidney and butter beans and veg is very cheap and tasty and will last for a good few nights.
I can see why people were annoyed with this thread tbh as it seemed like you hadn't rrally thought much about trying any other avenues to get by before considering a foodbank. I was an unemployed single mum last year desperately trying to get by on benefits while I looked for a job but never once considered going to a foodbank as they are for the very poorest in our society. I now frequently donate to them and find this attitude of money is a bit tight I might just use a foodbank very frustrating, however the fact that you came here for advice and have taken on board peoples comments is great and I hope you get sorted.

carefreeeee · 19/08/2017 11:52

Can't believe you would consider going to a foodbank in this situation.

You should have savings to cover this kind of thing. On 40k and not even got a couple of hundred saved up for emergencies seems very bad planning.

You overspent on trying to occupy the kids and buying a new oven neither of which are essential. Why didn't you just save up for an oven and do without for a month or so? You could manage with a toaster/kettle/microwave/hob if you have a couple of these.

People using foodbanks I hope are a lot more desperate than that.

You can always go overdrawn or pawn something as others have suggested

WWYD17 · 19/08/2017 11:52

If you do decide to go to the food bank this time as a one off, make sure you put in at least the same amount when you get paid.

Yorkshirebetty · 19/08/2017 11:53

This is a controversial topic. It will almost certainly be picked up by the Daily Mail and others (think about other stories on here that have made headlines). The next time there are discussions about poverty and food banks, you mark my words, this example will be trotted out "food banks get used by people on £40k that overspent on kids activities" etc.

quercuscircus · 19/08/2017 11:53

ridingwindhorses I dont think anyone is taking the "only the deserving poor" attitude. They are just talking about only the actual poor.

PovertyPain · 19/08/2017 11:53

I find the whole Victorian self-righteous finger-wagging only-for-the-deserving-poor tone of tone of this thread really distasteful

Perfectly put.

user9512736123 · 19/08/2017 11:54

I find the whole Victorian self-righteous finger-wagging only-for-the-deserving-poor tone of tone of this thread really distasteful.

Maybe you do but the OP earns over 40k a year so not being able to have enough to feed her family is ridiculous. No way should somebody on that amount of money be using a foodbank. Based on the earnings that she mentioned, in a week their combined income is more than mine is in a month and we have never used a foodbank.

Witchend · 19/08/2017 11:54

It's mainly Trussell Trust foodbanks which require a referral
Not true. There are three separate ones round her all of whom require a referral except one which has an initial emergency bag which you can accept while awaiting referral. problem is it is that: emergency-so designed for 24 hours for a couple.

And the idea of paying it forward seems fine. Except it's not that simple. The foodbanks round her are empty at this time of year-stuff out as fast as it comes in. people don't realise how hard the school holidays are for people whose dc usually have free school meals. They're not able to feed the people for whom it is the food bank or no food. Give a month and September brings harvest festival where most churches and a lot of schools and other community groups ask for donated items to foodbanks and they'll be full to overbursting (one person I know uses their house as a overflow)

If she takes the food now she will genuinely be taking food out of other people's mouths in our area. You shouldn't be doing that in the situation that she's in where she can survive on what she has.

I work in a church. We have a number of homeless people/people in poverty come in regularly and we do offer them hot drinks and sandwiches and sometimes more in certain circumstances. But we couldn't afford to feed a family of 4 for 10 days, nor would it be fair to.
A couple of weeks ago we had some food pinched from a cupboard. Did they take the chocolate bars, and fizzy drinks and crisps freely lying there? No, they took a jar of hot dog sausages in brine. We know who did it-they're homeless. They chose the food that would give them (not very nice) nourishment-I imagine they would have been found at the park eating them cold, he may have even taken them to feed an ill friend not himself, they look after each other in a way that we could all learn from.
That's how desperate people can be. Not 3 joints of lamb in the freezer and £30. One jar of hot dog sausages with brine dripping off them eaten cold outside.
I'm hoping next week he might come back in so we can get him something nutritious and tasty.

I remember one couple coming in first thing in the morning in February. The asked if we minded if they sat and waited inside until CAB opened at 10:00 because they were hoping to be referred to the food bank. I offered them a hot drink and the lady said they'd only got 50p between them so couldn't afford it, so I said it was free, and she said they'd share one between them because it wasn't fair to have two. I got them one each and told her not to worry. They'd got two boys at home and didn't know where to turn. They'd walked into town 4.5 miles because they couldn't afford the bus fair, and were going to be walking back again-and that was after they hadn't eaten for nearly 48 hours because all the food had gone to the boys. They'd been drinking water. Initially hot water, but their electric metre had run out last night so it had been cold water.
That's the sort of family that are in need round here. It's not an uncommon story I hear.

Areyoureallykidding · 19/08/2017 11:59

All I can say is that if OP and people on similar salaries go to a Foodbank - then I am absolutely not handing in any more donations. I do not earn £40K per annum but I live within my means and take into account any possible changes.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 19/08/2017 11:59

witchend thank you for that post Flowers

gardenmintflower · 19/08/2017 12:00

To be fair OP says they earn £40,000 between them.

£20,000 each is not a fortune.

SpottedGingham · 19/08/2017 12:02

Not everyone has credit cards, they're expensive to run

Not when used correctly. It's an interest free loan provided you repay it in full every month.

quercuscircus · 19/08/2017 12:03

Witchend that is just heartbreaking and sadly that is exactly the circumstances I have witnessed, and why I feel so strongly about this thread.

NellieBuff · 19/08/2017 12:04

OP read Witchend post and hang your head in shame imo. You could afford to buy a new oven but yet have no money for food. Other folk should not be deprived because of your bad money choices - oh and remember your income that you freely admitted to,.

SpottedGingham · 19/08/2017 12:04

witchend

Great post.

volovont · 19/08/2017 12:05

Bloody hell

I've donated 'luxury' items such as fancy biscuits and children's toys to the food bank along with staples such as pasta and pot noodles hoping that they'd cheer a family up with absolutely nothing when they get their food parcel.

I also put in things like pot noodles and instant pasta pots and those tuna meals as a lot of people using food banks have no fridge or cooker due to being in temporary accommodation or have to be really tight with their electric.

Never thought it was going to people who just bought a new oven with a freezer full of meat.

RidingWindhorses · 19/08/2017 12:07

I think it really depends on the area. The foodbanks around me tended to have a surplus. The one I volunteered at had to throw away food that wasn't claimed.

The OP has never claimed to be poor, simply to have mismanaged her budget in the short term. Indeed she was upfront about her income, that she didn't feel foodbanks were for families like her and that she felt uncomfortable about it.

She asked if posters thought she should manage on what she had.

It's perfectly possible to yes without all the moralising.

But like I said, I don't have a problem with donating food to her personally.

user1490465531 · 19/08/2017 12:08

If you were desparate you wouldn't of bought a new oven. end of.

quercuscircus · 19/08/2017 12:08

Also, we are fortunate in that whilst we've had dire ongoing situations, we also had large overdraft facilites so 'masked' how bad things were and were able to avoid using foodbanks as we felt others needed it more.