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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I use a food bank in my situation?

519 replies

Lionking1981 · 19/08/2017 01:38

I am 200 pounds down on my normal wages this month due to taking unpaid parental leave when my Dd was ill. Overspent the first week of the month trying to occupy the kids. Then my oven broke and had to replace it. Been living out the freezer and store cupboard since. To cut the story short, I now have 30 pounds to survive 10 days til payday. I have 3 small joints of lamb in the freezer, a box
of waffles and some fish fingers. A few tins of baked beans, tomatoes and soup in cupboard.

My friend says to go to the foodbank but I am super uncomfortable about it. We earn over 40k between us and i don't think food banks are there for people like us but it is going to be really hard to feed a family of 4 on this. However, we will be fine next month. Would you just make do for the 10 days?

OP posts:
melj1213 · 19/08/2017 23:35

I would struggle to survive on £30.00 for 5 days as a single person, let alone feeding a family on that amount for 10 days

@CessJ you have serious budgeting issues if you couldn't survive for a week with £30 and store cupboard staples.

You may not have the most fun week, or the most interesting or high class cuisine but if it's a temporary situation then it is definitely doable!

BabychamSocialist · 19/08/2017 23:35

To the people saying, "it's not poverty because lots of us manage on that at the end of a month" - err, have you ever thought that that is poverty, but you've just become accustomed to it? £30 for four people over 10 days is way below the accepted definition of poverty line ($2 per day per person). Yes, it's temporary, and she does have some food, but she technically qualifies as "in poverty".

melj1213 · 19/08/2017 23:43

Babycham I Think the point is that for the OP this is a blip, she would normally have hundreds of pounds to spare (Lost out on £200 from having to take leave & paying out for a new cooker) so having to live on £30 for 10 days might qualify her for "poverty" status but in the grand scheme of things she will be "in poverty" for a week (and even in "poverty" she still has her bills paid, food in the fridge/cupboards and money available for the basics) but at the end of that week she will be in zero financial difficulty.

For many people who rely on foodbanks they dream of the day when payday eases their poverty, instead of just getting them back in the black enough to start the cycle all over again for yet another month.

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 19/08/2017 23:50

I would struggle to survive on £30.00 for 5 days as a single person, let alone feeding a family on that amount for 10 days

I'm with Mel on this one. As a SINGLE person you'd seriously struggle feeding yourself for 5 days on £30?!
What on earth do you actually buy?!

PurpleDaisies · 19/08/2017 23:52

Simple maths - £30 for 5 days is £6 a day. How on earth can you not manage that?

brasty · 19/08/2017 23:55

£6 a day would buy you a M&S ready meal every day, cereal for breakfast, home made lunch, and still leave money for snacks.

£3 a day for 10 days, for 4 people, is no big deal. It is a one off. Anyway no one would refer you to a food bank.

brasty · 19/08/2017 23:57

OP do what lots of people do and take something to the local pawn shop.

Lurkedforever1 · 20/08/2017 00:03

babycham and have you considered that the charities don't have enough to properly supply those in genuine need? How long would they last if they started giving handouts to everyone who was a bit skint till payday? Especially when you consider that most people would stop donating if it became an open door policy.

AvaCrowder2 · 20/08/2017 00:08

A pp mentioned a post of op from March. Similar situation. It's quite hard to read the same advice again.
I don't know. I do have sympathy.

PringlesInMyPants · 20/08/2017 00:15

Haven't read TFT. How come joints of lamb? We have a reasonable income but lamb is a treat here.

TT1ramasu · 20/08/2017 00:30

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationing_in_the_United_Kingdom

40k is a good wage

2017 surely we should be living in a better world ?

Sweetshopofdoom · 20/08/2017 00:38

I don't mean to sound harsh but if the £30 is just for food we lived off this amount and often less for years as do several people I know. It's not great but no you shouldn't be accessing a food bank.

A bag of chicken breasts is £3 in Heron. Does two curries and one other meals for us. Cheap bag of frozen veg £1 to bulk curries and meals
Tesco value curry sauce is 25p
Cheap rice is 40p
Cheap pasta is 20p for value pasta in tesco. You have tomatoes or their value sauce is 45p
Wonky potatoes are £1.25 ish in Morrisons.
You have beans so jacket spuds and beans.
Or lamb, potatoes and veg.
Tesco value porridge oats are 75p
Milk is 2 litres for a pound.

Original poster
Lionking1981 · 20/08/2017 01:09

I have already said that I wouldn't try to use a food bank. It will be shit but we will manage. My post was written in a vulnerable moment when I couldn't sleep last night. I asked hours ago for the thread to be deleted once posters said they were not going to donate to food banks because of my post. I have never used a food bank before in my life so that is a shit reason but I don't want anyone to stop donating to desperate people because of me. My requests to have it deleted have been completely ignored despite other posters having their posts removed within minutes for not meeting mn guidelines.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 20/08/2017 01:14

Probably because there's no real grounds for it to be removed.

Original poster
Lionking1981 · 20/08/2017 01:25

Of course there are grounds. I posted a silly, vulnerable post. People have since said they would stop donating to food banks because of my post.

OP posts:
quercuscircus · 20/08/2017 01:39

Hi lionking MN won't delete the thread for that reason. Its just a debate even if it has its downsides.

The other posts got deleted because the poster made some totally unjustified and vile remarks about some posters including me and my ill husband. Thats not debate that's just vile.

No one here wants people to suffer or worry. I'm sure we would all feed everyone as much food as they needed if only it were possible. Sadly it isn't, so hard decisions have to be made.

I do hope your 10 days go smoothly till payday.

I know lots of people including myself will keep on giving so don't worry about that.

stargazer2030 · 20/08/2017 04:35

Don't worry about other posters op. You can't donate to a charity and then dictate what it's spent on. It's not down to you if people feel they can.
If you need to use a food Bank do so and then donate a similar amount of food as soon as you have the money.
It means your kids will be fed and it's more of a loan than a handout. No one at the food Bank will judge you. As far as I know you can only be referred a maximum of 3 times which ensures they are only for emergencies.
I hope you get through this.

gardenmintflower · 20/08/2017 06:14

Lionking

Flowers

I know what you mean about a vulnerable moment!

I have donated because of you. It made me realise school holidays could be tricky.

NellieBuff · 20/08/2017 06:18

MsMommie just caught up with the post. I didn't think folk like you actually existed but hey you live and learn.

Believe me when I say that this OP should not be using a food bank. On a family income of £40k she does not need one. She can easily feed her family with the food and money she has. Won't be exciting but they will not starve. Anyone who says she can't is not living in the real world where folk have to make these budgeting decisions all the time.

Food banks are for those in crisis not idiots who cannot budget properly and live in a "precious little bubble".

NellieBuff · 20/08/2017 06:25

OP: I am sorry you were feeling vulnerable but perhaps you could borrow from the friend who suggested the food bank or from family. Sell or pawn something or go into overdraft. And do not worry about the DC - it will not do them any harm to survive on the very basics for a while.

twelly · 20/08/2017 07:04

"You can't dictate to charity then decide how it's used"
Agreed you can't decide provided the charity follows the guidelines it set, however if you disagree with a charity's use of funds or resources you don't donate again. Food banks rely on the same people donating week after week, churches often collect on Sundays and they rely on regular contributions. Therefore misuse of the system by people who earn more than Han those who donate or are in better circumstances than those donating and I believe that is what has happened puts people off donating

NellieBuff · 20/08/2017 07:48

OP: I've reread my posts and they seem harsher than I meant them to so I apologise. If you budget properly you will be able to feed your children on the basics for the next few days and it is not so long until pay day,

Lucysky2017 · 20/08/2017 07:49

Lion, don't worry about it. It's been a really interesting discussion (particularly my blackberry picking posts) and in general I don't like removal of posts or censorship and as you haven't given your name and address I suspect there is no good reason to remove the post. Most of us will just be getting on with our lives so just itnore the thread and enjoy your Sunday. You both work full time. You meet all my criteria therefore in protecting your family and longer term you will be both be better off than if one of you stopped work entirely or went part time.

Try second jobs. I have been up since 6 working (Sunday). There was a time when we both had a second job - children's teacher father taught the piano from about 9am to 9pm some Saturdays, paid to play the organ on Sundays. I marked exam papers in my "spare" time when we had babies and worked in London all week. it's not easy but over time it pays off. My son is doing Deliveroo 3 evenings a week - you just need a bike and to be in an area which has Deliveroo deliveries. he loves it.

Ktown · 20/08/2017 07:54

It has been an interesting discussion.
Don't delete: lion you just need to learn to budget! Don't worry about this. From the beginning you said it was a friends suggestion (just don't do anything they suggest in future!!).

Nuttynoo · 20/08/2017 07:58

I'm far wealthier than OP, got into a situation recently where the bank incorrectly took the mortgage payment out 3 times and wiped our cash funds. Would have taken a week plus to transfer funds from investments/get paid - so I approached CAB to ask them what I can do. They gave me a foraging book & I spent a few days stockpiling blackberries/cherries/nuts/apples etc. It was a bit irritating that I, as someone who has been a net payer into tax systems (no hospital admissions ever, no medical treatment, never on the dole, no free education) since 16 can't get help when needed.