to be furious with DH - not sure I'm justified

[vinobell]

As we both had a (rare) early finish today, this morning I suggested to DH that we could go for a drink at a pub this afternoon with our puppy to spend some time together and get the puppy out. (who is going through a difficult stage at the moment and needs socialising as much as possible)

he text me early afternoon and said there was a push from work that a few guys were going, did i want to join, where we would have to sit outside with the dog. All fine - turned up and as i parked it started raining heavy - so i left the dog in the car and went inside. I said to DH i would go straight home with the dog and leave the boys to it, but DH pestered me to stay. I had one drink (30mins) whilst more and more guys turned up, then said i needed to take the dog home as he was left in the car.

DH had just been bought another round, so had a whole beer to finish. I felt guilty being the nagging wife so said he should stay, but what were plans for dinner. By this time there were about 20 people there and friends just arriving - and talk of this being a big drinking night between them. I got to the car park and got a bit pissed off really. We were supposed to be spending time together and now its another boys drinking night. He said to take the dog home and then come back out to the pub - but i don't really want to sit with all his work mates as the only female there, and its not fair on the dog who has been alone all day whilst we have been at work. Plus one if us needs to drive.

Now he is at the pub with his mates and I'm angry sitting on the couch.

[Xmaxsmumx]

I feel like a lot of people are missing the point here - it all boils down to you both got a rare early dart and thought you'd take the opportunity to spend time together. You then made plans. To which he then got "a better offer" from his mates and binned you off. Yes I'd be pissed off too. It's the whole fact of you don't make somebody especially your partner feel like spending time with them would inconvenience you b

[Miserylovescompany2]

You wanted quality time with your partner - he initially agreed - then he got a better offer - asked you to join him and work mates as an afterthought so he can basically cover his own ass

Yip - I'd be pissed off too!

[MsGameandWatching]

Wouldn't bother me to be honest. No children. If you can't be off the cuff now, then when?

[WooWooSister]

Did he agree to your plan this morning when you suggested it? It read to me as though you had an idea in your head of how today would go but he didn't actually agree with it so he jumped at the other offer.
But if he has form for dropping you when something else comes along, I'd plan to spend your time off with someone reliable.

[PollyFlint]

I'd be annoyed if I'd arranged to meet someone for drinks after work, whether it was my DP or not, and they then brought a massive crowd of people I don't know with them when that wasn't part of the plan. I can see why you'd be miffed. If this was a case of him being offered a rare opportunity to go out with his colleagues/friends it might be different, but if he drinks with them regularly and he'd agreed to go out with you tonight, it's fair enough that you're cross and a bit hurt.

[Pantryboy]

Sounds like you are not telling your DH how you really feel . If you don't want him to go out then tell him. He isn't a mind reader and you are not demanding anything you just want to discuss things with him. I am sure if you saw it from his side then you would see .

[Agnus86]

Tell him your annoyed but leave it there and rearrange straight away so you can move on by planning something nice. I do understand where your coming from but its not worth a row hun. Hope you enjoy your eve

[LineysRun]

Yes I'd be pissed off.

[ThoseWhoDance]

Actually I'd be really pissed off myself. It sounds as though he only invited you so he couldn't be accused of ditching you, though essentially this is exactly what he has done. For those who say they wouldn't mind, the op doesn't sound to be complaining about him going out per se, just about the fact that he is so oblivious to her feelings - would he for example do the same plan change thing to his mate(s)?

[perper]

Ah, I know I'd quite possibly be pissed off at this. However I would also know at the back of my mind that actually, what's he's done isn't unreasonable.

Deep breath, try not to be disappointed, and go for a nice pub lunch tomorrow with him. He's not done anything wrong (despite what MN will say... LTB etc!)

[Dina1234]

Just book a spa day on the weekend and force him to spend time alone with the dof

[LostInShoebiz]

What's wrong with being the only woman in a group?

[JayneAusten]

You're being unreasonable.

He checked with you at every stage. You've got a tongue in your head - don't agree to stuff and then get pissed off. You made the choice to tell him to stay at the pub and now in retrospect you've decided you're pissed off with him. That's so unfair of you.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

It wasn't a serious invitation to stay. Please stay with me and all my male workmates whilst we share in jokes and talk about work.

That sounds like a really great night out with your partner

I would be annoyed - you've been dumped for a better offer

[kmc1111]

He asked if you wanted to go out with his workmates, he asked you to stay and he asked you to come back.

You chose not to say you'd rather it just be you and him, and you chose to leave without telling him there was a problem. Just communicate better!

[BuggerLumpsAnnoyed]

So you don't have kids? And have at least 4/ 5 nights together a week?

You could of gone out with him but didn't want to. You can spend all of tomorrow and Sunday together.

He just didn't want to do what you want to do

Pre kids is the time to be flexible and have fun.

[Mummaofboys]

Poor puppy! Why couldn't the puppy come into the pub?