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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend taking the piss with home business

179 replies

Magicnumbers · 18/08/2017 12:59

A good friend is supported financially by DH and has recently decided to go into one of these multi level marketing beauty businesses. It's set her back quite a lot to buy all the products.

Suddenly her Facebook account is full of adverts and I have had the sales patter for these products every time we've met.

Keen to support her, I bought a couple of things. They were okay, but really expensive. I have politely declined to buy more but I still keep getting messages from her asking if I want anything more. She's done this will loads of friends in the area and she's so lovely but at least one person I know has shut off contact after a hard sell to recruit her too.

Now there are posts on Facebook with photos of her with her young DS on all these walks and out at clubs with hashtags and captions like "do what you love" "work from home" "would never miss this time with my boy" etc, right next to posts saying "who can help me reach my target this month? Just need two more sales of x product?". This goes to working parents who don't get to take their children to the same things she goes to with her boy because they are working- but she wants them to use their earnings to keep her in business, then posts (slightly smug) stuff like that.

To stop myself from getting more annoyed I have hidden her feed on Facebook, but (a) is she being unreasonable/insensitive and (b) should I try to say anything to her? Am I being crap in not supporting her more? She's my mate, I want her to do well, but this feels like the wrong way of going about keeping friends.

OP posts:
Foslady · 18/08/2017 13:05

YANBU - see how she's doing at Christmas....... MLM winds everyone up

HistoriaTrixie · 18/08/2017 13:08

Send her a link to Timeless Vie?

Also, check out the MLM Botwatch thread in Money Matters - it's on its 31st iteration and the people there will have lots of advice for you on how to talk to/deal with your friend. Good luck!

Queenioqueenio · 18/08/2017 13:10

Point out the sheer hypocrisy of asking you to fund her precious time with her boy by using your hard earned wages on her face book posts. Cheeky sod.
Saying 2 more of this will reach my targets is basically begging in my opinion.

Callamia · 18/08/2017 13:10

These posts break my heart a bit.
No one makes money from these, and lots of people lose friends by being so pushy. Have a look at the MLMbot threads on here, and the excellent blog of one woman's experience with one of these: notquitefairytalesblog.com

TmiTuesdays · 18/08/2017 13:10

No YANBU. I had a "friend" who I hadn't seen in years suddenly FB message me out of the blue all bright and cheerful and suggesting we meet up - and she may even have a business opportunity for me. I looked at her wall and realised it was all taken up with Forever Living. I messaged her back and said I'd love to meet up, but I wasn't interested in starting a business. Never heard back. At the time, I was quite lonely, vulnerable and broke. I hate that these things encourage people to prey on you like that.

WindwardCircle · 18/08/2017 13:11

notquitefairytalesblog.com/

The link above is a blog of an ex younique seller. It's really worth a read, it'll give you an insight into what's really going on with your friend.

WindwardCircle · 18/08/2017 13:12

Ha, cross post with Callamia!

ibbleobbleblackbubble · 18/08/2017 13:12

She's deluded and unbearable

JiminyBillyBob · 18/08/2017 13:14

It's pernicious. My adorable, sweet, kind DIL has recently joined the FL cult and her fb page is awash with all the usual scripted "amazing/gorgeous/nourishing/blah blah" waffle.

She's very proud to be an ELITE business owner after only a week 😏

I can't see her making much money - she's just not the type to be pushy enough.

missmollyhadadolly · 18/08/2017 13:15

She's now a friendbot.

There was a great article on the exploitation of women by these MLMs. How they play on women's guilt about working OOH.

Notreallyarsed · 18/08/2017 13:15

My SIL sells MLM stuff, and I've told her straight, it's very expensive and not something I'd be interested in. While I have the luxury of some disposable income, I'm not being harassed into spending it on something I don't want.

Callamia · 18/08/2017 13:17

Windward, its amazing isn't it? I binge read it all night while small baby was feeding. At one point I realised that it was 4am, he'd been asleep for ten mins and I was still reading.

CreamCheeseBrownies · 18/08/2017 13:17

Certainly you're not being a bad mate to stop buying. Either don't mention it or say lightheartedly something like "sure, would love to get together next Fri, but seriously mate, promise you won't try to sell me aloe this time" smiley face lol kisses etc etc (bleugh)

Don't judge her lifestyle choice, tell her it's wrong to expect friends to give her their money or tell her it's affecting friendships etc. Just get her to stop selling to YOU personally. Kind of like with small children when you address the behaviour rather than judging and labelling the child.

PoppyPopcorn · 18/08/2017 13:19

multi level marketing beauty businesses

You got that wrong. I think you meant to write scam-tastic pyramid schemes where everyone loses money.

Just ignore, block/hide her on social media and be there for her when it all goes pear shaped.

WhataHexIgotinto · 18/08/2017 13:24

YANBU. I have a lovely friend, who is in quite a vulnerable state at the moment, who has got involved with something like this. It's constant updates, videos and 'help me become the best in the region's status. She's also started getting her children to 'star' in her videos which is really pissing me off.

Chewbecca · 18/08/2017 13:27

If she is a good friend then yes, I would say something. I'd tell her I don't want to buy anything & would really like to not talk about it if possible. I'd also possibly send her some links warning her of the issues with these schemes, but don't expect her to believe you.

It will almost certainly pass fairly soon.

KimmySchmidt1 · 18/08/2017 13:31

Nobody ever ran a business by selling stuff to their friends. she needs to learn to sell stuff to people she doesn't know.

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/08/2017 13:43

I had a FB friend like this.
She was on my list because we homed sibling rescue dogs.
She was perfectly normal and then her FB went all weird.
She had been signed up by Younique. It was so fascinating it took me quite a while to hide her.
She lives on a small Island so her customer base is limited. I haven't checked her out for a while. I eventually got sick of her 'Ladies who Lash' posts and sickening, cult-like memes.

Original poster
Magicnumbers · 18/08/2017 13:46

Poppy you are right- it looks like a scam to me. Horrible to see the forced cheerfulness and motivational hashtags on every.single.post Sad

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 18/08/2017 13:52

I suppose if you wanted to be mean you could point out that she can only do all this because she's financially supported by her DH...

PollyFlint · 18/08/2017 13:54

YANBU at all, but it's her decision and her life and she has to be left to make her own mistakes. As you say, she will lose friends over it though as people will get fed up with the hard sell. Most of her social media friends will have muted or unfollowed her already I'm sure.

Those MLM schemes are the work of the bloody devil. Exploitative bollocks.

ChickenBhuna · 18/08/2017 13:55

Yanbu! I had a work colleague that sold branded diet products , I saw mutual colleagues tagged in her motivational crap/sales patter most days on FB. She tried to add me as friend. I declined.

StickThatInYourPipe · 18/08/2017 13:57

Literally all of them do that 'do something you love' thing with picture of them galavanting around with their children all day long. It's irritating and I'm not even a parent yet!

YANBU it is very annoying. It's also a complete lie 99% of the time, I see a lot of them saying how they can afford all luxuries etc because of it. It's rubbish, yes I'm sure there a a few sacred ones who do actually do this but I'm sure it is not the majority of them.

viques · 18/08/2017 13:57

I would post back and ask if she has anything to help you with the terrible itchy rash you seem to have developed since using the first products you bought......

FuzzyOwl · 18/08/2017 13:58

I hate MLM. I know many people who have gone into one of the schemes and been really optimistic. None of them have made money, all of them have lost friends/family contact or respect from other people. They also seem to work a huge number of hours trying to peddle their stuff and recruit people to work for them, but don't take home any money for it. The constant motivational messages and all the hashtags annoy me but I can unfollow so that isn't such an issue. I know a few who are still theoretically involved because they cannot bear to let down the person they sell for as they fear it will be the end of their friendship which is terrible.

I also don't think any of the MLMbots are willing or open to talking about it though whilst they are so involved and tend to get very defensive of people expressing their concerns.