To think I can moan about them, you can't?

[LaurelHolly]

Actually, I an see both sides of this, but in the moment I can't always do that...

Sometimes I offload to DP about things my family have done or said to hurt or annoy me.

Sometimes I offload to friends about things DP has said or done.

Sometimes I offload to family about things friends have said or done

...you get the picture.

I'm not talking about full on character assassinations, hugely serious issues or constant moaning; just general remarks to vent expecting a bit of sympathy.

But I just cannot stand it when my ventee jumps in to criticise the subject of my vent. For example:

Me: I can't believe mum and sister went out for lunch yesterday and didn't even invite me.

Friend: yeah that's awful, your mum is such a cow and your sister so mean.

I then feel I have to start defending my mum and sister etc.

If someone vents to me I just try to listen and sympathise not get digs in at people they love but are just momentarily pissed off with.

I get that they are supporting me but AIBU to think 'I can moan about them, but you can't?

I think if you moaning about people to someone, you can't really be surprised when they join in.

How much do you whinge to people about others for this to actually be a problem?

Yeah, none stop moan machine

I'm like this more with my DCs - I can whinge and moan about their selfish ways all I like, but no one else is allowed to because really they're perfect. I try very hard to keep these thoughts to myself :o

My brother in law once said to my hubby
The sisters are like the mafia. They criticise each other.. but offend one and you are in bother

Yes...if I tell my mum DS has been a pain this afternoon and she says, yes, he's very difficult, I can't stand it! How dare she

Teaches me to stop offloading my problems [whinging and moaning], though!

Totally agree with you. I see it the same way.

This is the 'he's an arse, but my arse' paradigm.

God my dad does this. Moans about my siblings if I agree with him he gets shirty defensive and off with me if I reason their point of try to see it from his point of view then everyone is against him and he's always wrong. I hate it and now offer nothing in return just umms and change the subject.