Aibu??

[Justanothermummy1]

my partner just got home from his 13 hours out at work he gets home and eats the dinner I prepared for him. I told him my back was hurting so I was going to lay down on the sofa before I took the kids for a bath. My partner then finished his dinner and called the kids to go upstairs with him to have a bath . I layed down for 10 mins then went upstairs to find both the kids in the bath and my partner sat on the toilet next to the bath looking at Facebook on his phone. He allowed the kids to play for a bit before he washed them and washed there Hair. After getting the kids out the bath I told him to make the kids beds. He goes in to make them but sits on his phone watching videos for 5 mins before making the beds he then gets the kids pullups and our youngest her bottle.

We normally take turns getting the kids to bed tonight was ment to be my night and he did all the prep work for me. All I have done is had a go at him about going on Facebook while he was bathing the kids and told him he doesn't care about me or the kids . Am I Being Unreasonable ?? Was he just trying to be helpful and my hormones making me see otherwise

Eh?
I'm missing what it is you are cross about.

Getting weary of these nonsensical threads

I would say he is using him time wisely.

Been at work all day, comes home, baths kids. That's an achievement in it's self (both me and my partner work full time so guess how often bath time is here!).

What do you expect him to do if the children are entertaining themselves?

Do you but into their play time?

Are you usually this uptight?

Is this a reverse?

You sound a bit bonkers

I'm really really not getting the problem here. He does far more than I do when I do 13 hour shifts!!

I agree, reverse.

When my kids were young enough to need constant supervision in the bath, I used to sit on the floor and read on my Kindle. Is that ok?

You seem hard work. What has he done wrong apart from do everything you have "ordered" him to do after a 13 hour shift?!

I'm not sure I understand the issue here. He was in the bathroom with the kids, albeit somewhat distracted on his phone but he was still there.

Granted, you could argue that he should have paid them his full attention while they were in the bath, but he was actually IN. THE. ROOM.

With them.

I understand if you like to play with your kids and constantly supervise their play in the bath, but maybe his bathing 'technique' is slightly different... is this what you have the problem with? I don't play much with my daughter who is 6 in the bath any more, as I like to listen to her funny little stories and playtime she has with her dolls etc. She entertains me rather than the other way round! Lol

Maybe you need to chill out a bit and take a bath yourself... without your DH's supervision!

Ummm, what now?

He sounds perfect!

So after a 13 hour shift he comes home baths the children then makes up their bed while you're lying on the couch and you grudge him 10 mins on the internet

Yes YABU

I don't understand the problem.

Honestly? Get a fucking grip. Yeh your partners unreasonable for ferrying after your kids whilst you lie on your arse

Don't bother with bed making - just move the duvets a bit.

HTH

YABU.
It's done, not your way but it's done. I think when one requests tasks to be done, the important thing is the result, not the way it has been done. Your DH had also had a long day at work and wanted some mental break / rest. If this meant Facebook, I don't see the issue as long as he was still aware of what was going on the bath. You are micromanaging him. He's an adult, he's helping, he's taking over because you were poorly, he had worked long hours... I think he deserves more than a thank you and less criticism. I used to do that with my DH when my DC were babies, I would not be satisfied unless things were done my way
.. it just leads to arguments and to be fair, as long as it is done, it shouldn't matter if he had some distractions. Would you be so bothered if he were reading the newspaper or sorting stuff in his online banking? Was it the fact that it was Facebook?

Oh man, the part where DS is tipping water out the bath playing in the bath and I get five mins to sit on the toilet playing in my phone is sometimes a highlight of the day for me.

Told him to make the beds?
Or asked him?

So you don't make the beds all day and make them when the kids are getting in them? Strange.

Eh? I always play on my phone at bathtime - its what makes it bearable! Few mins of "oooh a lovely cup of bubble tea" and MN here I come.

I'm struggling to understand what he's done wrong.

He came in after a 13 hour shift. You've said you're in pain and need to lie down before bathing the children. Instead of taking g you at your word he's bathed the children for you. You then tell, instead of asking him to make their bed which he does but not immediately and puts them to bed.

So what if he played on his phone in between? I'm usually on mn or reading while my children are in the bath, it doesn't make me a bad mum, just one who is happy to let my children play on their own whilst being there incase of slips.

I'd have been grateful that my dh took over bath and bedtime if I wasn't feeling up to it. I wouldn't care that he'd spent some of the time on his phone as long as it didn't put the children in danger, ie being in the bedroom while what sounds like toddlers were in the bath alone.

YABU in so so many ways