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Original poster

High school homework

34 replies

aibuhellno · 17/08/2017 15:49

Hi, my kids start high school in september and over summer we have been given a taster of the homework. Its got me wondering how much help i should be giving with homework on a daily basis?

My son is the type to say he cant do it until i practically do it for him but i want him to learn that it is his responsibility now.

Obviously i will help but at what level?

OP posts:
DorisMcSweeney · 17/08/2017 15:55

None whatsoever! It's homework for the children, nor parent work.

ReinettePompadour · 17/08/2017 16:01

You dont do any of it. Hmm

Your ds needs to learn to do it himself and to face the consequences of not doing it himself too without his Mum complaining to the school.

Its hard being your first born but you're setting him up for failure by doing it for him.

Trb17 · 17/08/2017 16:03

No help at all apart from providing them a space to work in and giving them time to do it. It's their homework not yours.

BeyondThePage · 17/08/2017 16:05

you don't "do" any of it. However - you do facilitate - by giving them a time and a place where it is quiet and there is room for them to just get on with it.

(but just be aware that "projects" are sometimes still done - so don't chuck out those shoeboxes or plasticine yet...)

2014newme · 17/08/2017 16:05

You don't do it! You've been to school!

AChickenCalledKorma · 17/08/2017 16:06

Help him remember what needs doing - planning ahead and juggling deadlines is probably the hardest adjustment from primary school.

Provide easy access to books/computer/stationery etc. Make cups of tea/squash/provide biscuits if that helps. But don't do it for him. This is a good time to start letting him discover the consequences of not doing it and get his act together.

Glumglowworm · 17/08/2017 16:10

achickencalledkorma has it spot on

Support him to do it himself. He needs to learn to not need that support as well, but initially in year 7, support him to do it himself. By year 11 he needs to be self motivated, but that's a goal to work towards.

He won't learn anything by you doing it for him, except that if he creates enough fuss he gets out of doing something he didn't want to do because mummy will do it for him. It's doubly pointless because the teacher marking it is unknowingly marking your work not his, so will think your son understands something when he doesn't.

Babipotjam · 17/08/2017 16:11

Why can't he do it what bit does he specifically struggle with?
I struggled doing homework but that was mainly duty to dyspraxia and having Irlens which meant I struggled with organising my thoughts and ideas.

I had help with this in uni with organising my thoughts.

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/08/2017 16:47

No help with the work.

Most schools make the kids write down the HW and when its due in in their planners so I'd just check that and prompt him with deadlines if you think he needs it.

I still ask most nights as they get in - any homework? when's it due? what else have you got on tonight?

Eeeeek2 · 17/08/2017 16:51

Make him do homework on the night it's set or at least 2 nights before it's due in, then you can send him to get help from the teacher the next day if he can't do it. I think you'll find he suddenly can do it.

Parker231 · 17/08/2017 16:51

You don't do any of the homework. They need to learn about deadlines and how much time it will take. You just nag for them to do it themselves. If they don't do it school will deal with it i.e. Detention, loss of lunch break.

minionsrule · 17/08/2017 18:29

I always tell ds that i won't be in the halls for your exams so no point trying to get me to do your homework as you need to know how to do it yourself

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/08/2017 18:43

Don't do it for him and back the school up on sanctions. Also find out if the school has a homework club.

HighwayDragon1 · 17/08/2017 18:45

PPS, from a high school teacher it is so great to hear you say things like this! It is so obvious when parents have "helped" with the homework, most of the time the kids has no idea what's written, or what half the words mean. When little Jimmy is using a semicolon in his homework but has no idea what they are actually used for it all becomes apparent.

alfagirl73 · 17/08/2017 18:48

At most you could help him by making sure he has an appropriate place to do his homework, has what he needs, and perhaps help him with planning out his homework schedule... but don't do it for him.

If he is struggling with any aspects of his homework, encourage him to speak to his teacher and ask for help with the bits he finds difficult. Not only will he get appropriate guidance on the topic but it will encourage him to take responsibility for his own studying.

leccybill · 17/08/2017 18:51

High school teacher here - please don't do their homework. At the start of Y7, I sometimes end the lesson up to 15 mins early so as not to rush the process of "Everyone open their planners"
"Find today's date"
"Write down the homework and the day it's due"

"Put your name on it but don't start it"
"Anyone got any questions about it...see me at the end if you're not sure about anything"
"Fold up and put in your hwk folder/bag"

Repeat for many weeks until comfortable with the process.

Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 18:52

I think op has got a lot of completely unhelpful posts so far. I have always believed homework is set so you can get help from parents at home. That does not mean you do it for them but does not mean you throw them in the deep end and see if they swim.

Y7 I 'helped' with almost every homework. sitting down with them at the table, getting them focused, explaining what the homework means you actually have to do, writers block, long division, mind maps, spider diagrams etc... BUT I never did any of the homework for them

Y8 only had to get them started and they were sorted. By Y9 they wouldn't let me help even if I wanted. Occasionally they come to me when stuck but having planted the seeds we are now reaping the rewards.

I guess it just depends on if you want them to excel and learn or just learn to cope on their own.

C0untDucku1a · 17/08/2017 18:55

Please help! Get him a homework space in a quiet place and a time to do it. At that time send him to do the homework. Ehen he has finished check rhe quality and chdck his homework journal to make sure he has completed it. Do this routinely and then it will become his routine and you can step back in the knowledge you have given him the tools to succeed.

Trb17 · 17/08/2017 19:17

I disagree that homework is set so you can 'get help from parents at home'. I always understood it to be set to teach children how to learn independently. A skill they will need for college and university, and to supplement school learning.

GreenTulips · 17/08/2017 19:23

DS struggles - not every child is organised

Remind him, sit with him, explain when he's stuck, offer ideas, suggest ways he could improve etc

I can't abandon him, but ifnhe refuses to do any he gets the consequences at school

user9512736123 · 17/08/2017 19:27

Provide him with the space to do it and the resources that he needs and then go and make yourself a cup of tea and leave him to it.

If he finds something hard then you can explain to him how to do it but that's it.

NapQueen · 17/08/2017 19:27

What is the homework?

TeenAndTween · 17/08/2017 19:28

If he can do it himself but is just not confident, then encourage him to do it independently.

However, I see no point whatsoever in letting my DD do all her maths homework independently wrong, when I can spend 10 minutes with her ensuring she understands properly whatever type of maths it is, so she then can do it independently correctly. (And I check that the maths teacher is happy with my doing this - they always have been so far).
Similarly for any other homework which involves repeatedly practicing a skill. There is no point practicing it wrong.

Other homeworks I will give my (less able) DD whatever support she needs to achieve some learning from the task. Our school encourages parents to take an interest in homework and to encourage DCs to do it to the best of their ability, rather than be completely hands off.

Original poster
aibuhellno · 17/08/2017 19:41

Thank you, firstly I don't actually do his homework but the amount of questions he asks certainly feels that way.

He did well in his sats so I know he is capable. The reason for my question is whist at primary school he leaves from my mums house and she always checks the homework he has done at home and comments or redoes it with him if she doesn't think it's neat enough.

She makes me feel useless if the homework isn't perfect or neat. My son will be leaving from my house for high school and returning here after school and I don't have time to constantly monitor the work so I was just checking.

I personally believe children do better doing it for themselves. My mum is known for doing a lot for them

OP posts:
user9512736123 · 18/08/2017 12:01

When DS has struggled with maths I've helped him when he was younger, his maths is beyond me now but have written a note in pencil at the bottom to say that DS has had some help as he didn't understand X or Y.

I used to work in a school and once forgot and wrote in green pen in his book because it was the first pen I found- his teacher was confused because she didn't recognise the writing and wondered why one of her colleagues had written about his maths Grin - now I use pencil.