To refuse to make dinner for my kids

[StuntNun]

I asked DS1 (14) and DS2 (11) to empty the dishwasher and reload it between them within the next hour. That was two hours ago and the kitchen is still covered in dirty dishes. AIBU to go out for dinner with DH and my other DCs and leave DS1 and DS2 to fend for themselves?

But they could starve to death. Imagine that. You'll come home to find their skeletal remains clutching a pizza delivery leaflet.

@doris that's hysterical, I'm in tears here

Yanbu

Give them a piece of bread, take away their phones/electronics for a week, and ground them. Seriously, being the hammer down. They need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. You're their mum, not the damn maid.

The 14-year-old is a pretty good cook, I doubt they'd starve. They both agreed to help out around the house more and said which chores they would like to take on. While they've been not sorting the dishwasher I've been emptying the bins/recycling and putting loads of washing on so I don't think I'm asking a lot.

What would you suggest for a consequence Peng? I have already removed the XBox because DS1 wouldn't stop playing it when asked yesterday.

How practical are they? Could they go out in the garden and catch something for their dinner? Like a badger or similar?

If the 14 year old can cook inform them that due to the state to the kitchen it's their responsibility to sort out dinner, and the 11 year old will help.

(Order yourself something they'd like to really get the message across)

TBH for myself at 14, my parents going out and leaving me to fend for myself would have been a treat lol

Change wifi password daily and only give it out when jobs are done

Id make them make dinner for the family and clear up after.

Like the wifi idea.

I have an app on my phone that turns internet off. When my dcs don't do jobs I give them a 30 minute warning then internet goes off for 24 hours!!!!!

I would remove the internet. Most 14yos would love an evening at home to fend for themselves - it's hardly a punishment!

Wait a couple of years and you'll return home to find the eldest has organised a 'gav', all you vodka has been drunk and the stereo has been blown up from playing grime at full volume.

I would happily leave the 14-year-old and an 11-year-old at home for the evening to cook their own dinner while the other kids got a treat, yes. And I'd change the wifi password before I went out.

Doris a badger might be hard to skin. What about a frog or two?

Can you combine a few of these consequences? Change the WIFI password and strap the new password to the underside of a passing badger that they will need to catch and cook for supper?

They're doing it now. Apparently they both forgot. Does this mean I don't get to go out for dinner?

Ooh, apuski, genius! OP, one half of the WIFI password to the first frog, second half on the second frog.

Maybe don't go out for dinner but definitely make them cook. Have them wait hand and foot on you for a change!

I haven't seen any badgers or frogs in the garden. Would a pigeon and a fox work?

Foxes are quite tricksy. Are they skilful hunters?

Foxes are easy to catch. You just need a big bit of Velcro, and their tails stick to it. Then simply roast at gas mark 6 for 1 hour.

Agree with the wifi- or unplug the TV. Just don't unplug a games console while they are on it as I've learnt from bitter experience that it can break them.