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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on Child Genius Emotionally Immature

60 replies

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 15:41

First off, I love watching it and I think the children are all brill.
But, I can't help thinking that even though they are very mature academically, their emotional maturity seems way behind most other children.

Is this usual?
Does one thing suffer at the hands of the other? Confused

Another thing that 'fascinates' disturbs me is the way some parents will encourage their children to compete against each other.
Some of the filthy looks these siblings throw at eachother when one is beating the other is just wrong.
You just know that this level of competitiveness is setting them up for having a very cold relationship with their siblings in later life.
It's the parents fault for encouraging it.

OP posts:
JayoftheRed · 17/08/2017 15:48

I don't watch the show, so I can't comment on the children in question, but my husband is incredibly clever, belongs to MENSA etc, and he is emotionally immature. Or at least, he was. He used to properly strop if things didn't go his way, and nothing is ever his fault, he has been known to slap inanimate objects that he's hurt himself on, because the stupid thing moved, apparently.

He's not so bad anymore, but it was very annoying for a while!

My MIL also made him and sister compete, with the complete expectation that my SIL would fail epically because she's a girl. She wasn't allowed to take exams for private school, she wasn't allowed to apply to join MENSA. I think my MIL hoped she would stay at home forever and look after her. As it was, my SIL got two first class degrees and although she lived at home for years, and only just moved out at 33, she has a job that is more suited to her degrees and interests than my husband.

Don't get me wrong, DH has done very well, but he was expected to. In fact, it was demanded of him. SIL wasn't, but she has anyway.

They're both emotionally wrecked though, although DH is getting better.

Me and my brother on the other hand were told that as long as we did our best, that was all that mattered. My best, academically, was never going to be more than a B grade (or equivalent) and never was but I had a great childhood and I have far more common sense than my entire family in law put together.

JayoftheRed · 17/08/2017 15:50

And DH and his sister, while not enemies or anything, have very little in common and spend no time together outside of family get togethers, whereas my brother is my best friend and we do loads of stuff together.

Not sure whether that has anything to do with the fact that we were never encouraged to beat the other in anything or not. We just got on with stuff. He's good at some things, I'm good at... well, I'm sure one day I'll find out what it is I'm good at!

Moanyoldcow · 17/08/2017 15:56

I enjoy watching it but the fragility of some of them is quite upsetting.

I find the parents taking responsibility for their children's obviously innate intelligence utterly nauseating.

You cannot 'build' a child to be like (the utterly lovely) Rahul - it's mostly genes and some nurture. The idea that the children are that way only because of the parents teaching is ridiculous.

seasidesally · 17/08/2017 16:09

if im honest (been watching it) i really wouldnt want to be in the company of any of the parents or children really,apart from Oscars and him though sadly not still in it

to a degree i think we are made by our upringing/parents and that can also have alot to answer for as children turn into adults sadly

Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 16:22

You see so much crap celebrating how 'pretty', musical, sporty, badly behaved, sexualised etc etc I think its great to see programs celebrating children's intellect. Wish there was more of this.

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 16:28

if im honest (been watching it) i really wouldnt want to be in the company of any of the parents or children really,apart from Oscars and him though sadly not still in it

I loved Oscar.
and the girl with the red hair that left recently.
They didn't have pushy parents.

I think Oscar should go into acting. He has great presence as they say.

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Booboobooboo84 · 17/08/2017 16:29

I think it shows a lack of socialisation sometimes. Five hours of hothousing your children with homework a day doesn't leave much time for kid pies and friendship bracelets.

I think it's a fabulous show to be honest and I find the ones where the children push to enter are often the more level headed. I always enjoy a good bemused parent looking at their kid like wtf did I make this.

Booboobooboo84 · 17/08/2017 16:31

Mud pies not kid pies lol.

I loved oscar and I loved the fact he wanted to enter, he pushed himself to keep going and his dad who must have been going through hell backed him the whole way including the minute he said I don't wAnt to do this saying that's absolutely fine. Same with the young girl last night who went out. Her mum wanted her to know how good she was not to prove how good she was.

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 16:31

You see so much crap celebrating how 'pretty', musical, sporty, badly behaved, sexualised etc etc I think its great to see programs celebrating children's intellect. Wish there was more of this.
I agree. Absolutely.
The only thing I found a bit disturbing was the pitting of the siblings against each other.
And the emotional maturity (the much older sister swanning around, bitching about the younger sister) something that a five year old would do.
Which surprised me, as she is clearly very intelligent.

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TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 16:34

Same with the young girl last night who went out. Her mum wanted her to know how good she was not to prove how good she was.

Yeah.
She was lovely.

The fact she was upset before going on, showed that she was in touch with her emotions.

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seasidesally · 17/08/2017 16:35

Oscar and family did seem normal

yes i was trying to get the 5hr extra work

say get in from school 4.30 tea at 5 etc then 5hrs Shock where is the down time, bath,outside school interests

they must go to bed late,though i cant see the parents allowing that,i cant work out their schedule,it sounds grim at best

bet the dont see friends from school outside much if at all

Booboobooboo84 · 17/08/2017 16:36

I mean I think we are being shown the worst of what parents can be and they will certainly be whipped up by the produces. Fabio and Olivia's mum is not someone I would want to spend any amount of time with especially not when it comes to the way she described how she wanted Fabio to win. She was very dismissive of her daughters achievements

Booboobooboo84 · 17/08/2017 16:38

I imagine the children's extracurricular activities are counted by parents as there downtime and often they are involved in activities where they are pitted against others so life just becomes one big competition and if your not used to losing you don't know how to lose

Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 16:49

Five hours of hot housing your children with homework a day doesn't leave much time for kid pies and friendship bracelets

She said that was just for the TV competition, they normally just do 2 hours. Which to me is a normal amount of time.
But its an interesting opinion. I have heard it said that it would be 'normal' for their DC to spend 5 hours + kicking a football about. Or 5+ playing of social media/x-box/internet, or even 5+ hanging about on the street. So why is learning for this amount of time, for kids who are able and willing to do it considered a bad thing?

a bit disturbing was the pitting of the siblings against each other
I half agree, if they are not of an equal level its almost abusive. But we have many successful sporting siblings who say it was their rivalry that spurned them on to greatness. So it can be as positive as well if managed.

brayd · 17/08/2017 16:50

Not going to lie I did let a snort out when Joshua's mum said he was completing jigsaws at 3-4 months old Hmm

Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 16:53

yes i was trying to get the 5hr extra work
I would suspect it is filmed in school holidays where kids have plenty of spare time to cram.

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 17:08

I think it's brilliant that the parents are nurturing their child/childrens talents.

There were just a few issues I had, namely the

Encouraging siblings to ruthlessly compete against each other.
(wrong on so many levels. It's encouraging them to hate each other)

The emotional immaturity a lot of these 'brainy' children showed.
(the girl gloating and winding her younger sister up - mine stopped behaving like that when they were 6)

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Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 17:22

(the girl gloating and winding her younger sister up - mine stopped behaving like that when they were 6)
I think this behaviour happens in many family's right up until 18. Its not confined to 'hot housed' children.

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 17:32

Mine weren't like it.

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TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 17:34

the older sibling, the way she was childishly going round the groups of children, trying to put them against her younger sister, was just wrong (and slightly immature)
You wouldn't get that amongst children who weren't hot housed.

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Booboobooboo84 · 17/08/2017 17:34

@fresh8008 I get what you mean but I also have issues with parents who have their kids doing 5 hours of sport/tv/video games. As parents balance is important. I feel like hothousing has hit a nerve I mean it to refer to the parents who say complete this or face punishment.

Your right about the 5 hours in the summer holidays as well but again unless home educated it's important to allow the brain to relax.

And yes sibling rivalry occurs in all kinds of families however there was a lack of kindness especially after her younger sister showed her kindness at the end of round one.

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 17:35

And yes sibling rivalry occurs in all kinds of families

but the fact the parents homed in on it and encouraged the sibling rivalry is so wrong.

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saoirse31 · 17/08/2017 17:47

Surely someone called teamcersei would know more about sibling rivalry?

TeamCersei · 17/08/2017 18:22

No. No sibling rivalry.
If anything, they love each other a bit too much? Grin

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Fresh8008 · 17/08/2017 18:28

I also have issues with parents who have their kids doing 5 hours of sport/tv/video games. As parents balance is important
Balance might be fine for some kids but for others its almost torture. Try dragging a football lover inside to read a book. Or a book lover outside outside to play football. It will seem to them like a punishment. And I am not even thinking that parents deliberately 'let' children do 5+ hours sport/tv/video games, it sort of happens by path of least resistance default.

Highly intellectual children experience reading and learning as a fun activity, if they want to keep going I would let them, why do the need 'a break'? But I agree with your definition of hot housing and that its wrong.

"she was childishly going round the groups of children, trying to put them against her younger sister, was just wrong (and slightly immature) You wouldn't get that amongst children who weren't hot housed"

Confused Seriously, what utopia do you live in? That is common in badly behaved children in general. I have seen it in siblings at swimming galas, school, birthday parties, playing in the garden and all over the place.