Low level neighbour issues - WWYD?

[gandalfspants]

Not sure this really belongs in AIBU so apologies if it's in the wrong place.

It's long - I don't want to drip.

We bought our first house 3 years ago and we might have been a bit clueless. We had a wood burner put in, and when it came to dropping the flue it was found that the brickwork on the chimney (shared stack on a semi) was crumbling away.

Our flue guy wasn't set up to do a full repair job, but said he could patch it up and make it safe. We told NDN this and they agreed, and contributed towards doing their side so it was all safe.

A few weeks later they asked when he was 'coming back to finish it'. They weren't happy with how it looked.

We were a bit but said we'd ask him to come look and see what he could do to make it prettier. He agreed, but said he'd have to fit us in around other work, etc.

Unfortunately this guy then broke his back, so it dragged out a bit.

In the mean time NDN got (understandably) impatient.

They told us their mate was a structural engineer how said the 'wrong materials' had been used and it was a fire risk (this was utter bollocks).

When that didn't work they became quite confrontational and would ambush DH on his way to and from work. This culminated in her screaming at me (8 months pregnant me) on my doorstep. I had a pretty rough pregnancy and that was the last thing I needed.

When that didn't scare us into paying £££ to someone else to make the chimney pretty (it's at the back, and you can barely see it even from the garden), they hand delivered a letter telling us we had ten days or they'd take us to court.

I sent one back basically saying they WBU, had originally agreed to the work, and that their gripe was with broken back guy.

Anyway, BBG (broken back guy) was all better by this point, so we asked to pretty please fit us in soon because NDN were peeved.

BBG came back and prettied their side for them, they were happy as far as I can tell (I haven't spoken to them since the screaming a year ago).

Since then NDN has taken to parking touching my car when I park on the road, which is annoying but not doing damage. There's been an incident where a friend's car got paint on it parked there, and this morning DH found a nail strategically placed so it would damage his tyre when he set off.

It's all petty stuff but we feel quite intimidated (and can't prove the last two were them).

DH asked neighbour about the nail this morning (I wouldn't have but there you go), and he said it wasn't him, he knows who it was (and the paint), but he won't say. Also something about the paint also happening to 'that Romanian guy across the road' as well. NDNs have (we think they're fake) CCTV out the front if that's relevant.

DH has called 101 and they've said they'll call back later.

WWYD? IABU to think our NDNs are unhinged and this is going to be ongoing stress until they die (a while, they're 60s) or we move?

If their car is being parked in physical contact with your car (i.e. a piece of paper doesn't drop through between them) then this is inherently problematic as it means they have effectively collided their car into yours, however softly. If you find the cars in that state then I would speak to them, show them the cars are touching and tell them it's unacceptable. If they think they can get away with that they will keep pushing the boundaries.

As to the paint and nail, as long as they can deny it was them it is unwise to push too hard. Strange for him to claim that he knows who it is, though. I'd be setting up a hidden CCTV camera covering the parking area and leaving my car there to catch the culprit in the act.

Thanks for replying.

Apparently because DH didn't actually drive over the nail it isn't a crime, but would be had he not noticed.

We're getting CCTV cameras tomorrow so hopefully will catch it if anything else happens.

The parking thing really confuses me, NDN is always washing and hoovering his car, it must take an awful lot of care to park just touching mine. I figured it was a dominance thing since I was just over the imaginary boundary where 'the road outside our house' becomes 'the road outside his house'.

I think the mini confrontations are giving him what he wants to be honest. They seem to lead quite boring lives and he always has a go at people who knock offering work (some guys offering to clean the gutter for example), calling them con artists, etc.

I'd passively aggressively park in the middle but we have two cars and only one space in the drive, and he only has one car and is in most of the day so he'd just do it back and I'd be more inconvenienced.

I think if it was me, if he parked that close to my car, I'd knock on his door & ask him why.

The CCTV is a good idea, but you can always engage him in conversation about how sorry you feel for people who have nothing in their lives, no social life, no friends, no hobbies etc, who find it necessary to be petty & un-neighbourly. All the while smiling sweetly maybe even with a MN headtilt

I would just start parking in the middle. If he then "retaliates" then it's not a problem for you, you can just park over your driveway, and then move if the other needs out.

Hidden CCTV definitely the way forwards, and make sure you get a few instances on camera, not just one, then head to the police

No, don't park one car across two spaces or engage in passive aggressive insulting conversation. This would be needlessly escalating the situation.

Go quiet. Put in the cameras and let them do all the talking. It's only a matter of time before you get something actionable. It will escalate but just keep on recording and changing position of the camera and being clever. Eventually they will knock off the idiocy. Neighbours are hell if they are wankers.

Every time I read one of these threads I give blessings to the flying spaghetti monster that my neighbours are ridiculously normal.