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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To schedule school holidays like a school day

92 replies

TAMumof3 · 16/08/2017 08:44

Am finding school holidays with 3 children really difficult.

I just don't seem to know what to do with them.

I'm a Teaching Assistant during term time and can only think to schedule their time like a school day - have just informed them that after on-line German practise this morning we'll be having PE by jogging along the roman road at eh back of our house.

I thought this was a nice plan but children very unmotivated, 12year old playing computer game, 10 year old setting tanks up all over kitchen floor and 8 year old listening to audio book.
I can't seem to get any of them up and on the go.

OP posts:
hellomarshmallow · 16/08/2017 09:07

Don't worry about paid-for stuff. We are on a tight budget too! It sounds like they're doing fine playing happily without organised things. Take the chance to do something for yourself? Whatever you enjoy... baking, reading, making stuff. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself, you're doing a fab job

StripyHorse · 16/08/2017 09:09

It might not be a holiday in the traditional sense (travelling) but it is a holiday for them in the sense that they can relax. It is also your holiday- you work hard in term time, take some down time for yourself. What would YOU like to do?

highinthesky · 16/08/2017 09:09

Ha ha, wait and see how you feel when your DCs decide to do things your way and serve you with divorce papers.

PsychoPumpkin · 16/08/2017 09:09

YABU. If they were pestering you and complaining of boredom then by all means, give them something to learn, but it sounds like they're all filling their time quite happily with nice activities anyway.

Sirzy · 16/08/2017 09:10

Or maybe most parents can see there is more to life than just academics and pushing children!

FlakeBook · 16/08/2017 09:10

Unstructured time is essential to their learning. It's when they find their interests and motivation and consolidate their knowledge, experiment and test things out. It's also essential for personal development.

I was feeling guilty about money being tight this holiday. Then I got my dc to write a list if things they really wanted to do before the end of the holidays. There was only one paid cinema trip on the list. Other things were all free. They wanted to collect pebbles to paint, go for a bike ride, roller skate, bake, read.

Afreshstartplease · 16/08/2017 09:11

Op are you cray cray?

Seriously make a brew and chill out

Asalways · 16/08/2017 09:11

You sound like a great mum. I feel guilty now, mine have done bugger all Blush

CeeceeBloomingdale · 16/08/2017 09:11

If it ain't broken don't fix it!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 16/08/2017 09:12

My DM would make me get up at a reasonsble hour, but otherwise I was left to my own devices and liked it that way

Flowersonthewall · 16/08/2017 09:15

I thought you were going to say they were much younger to be honest! My three are 7, 5 and 1. I like to keep some sort of structure to the day because of baby naps so we try to go out in the morning, lunch and then down time in the afternoon and that's about it! When my children are your kids ages it means I can leave them to it and don't have to entertain them every minute of every day!

YouTheCat · 16/08/2017 09:15

As long as they're happy, leave them to it.

Maybe have one or two days a week with something nice planned - trip out somewhere with a picnic, etc. But I'd make it all quite flexible.

Your children need a rest so when they go back to school they are ready to learn. If they've spent all summer being educated, then when do they feel like they've rested?

I'm also a TA.

IHeartDodo · 16/08/2017 09:17

Maybe limit electronics time, but otherwise leave them to it!
I have fond memories of summer holidays, when we were quite young we spent hours pretending to be lions lol!

RagingCunt · 16/08/2017 09:21

Let. Them. Play.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/08/2017 09:22

This all sounds a bit full on! Let them chill.

Does the 12 year old go out with friends?

Pengggwn · 16/08/2017 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lancelottie · 16/08/2017 09:26

You lost me at 'I thought this was a nice plan'.

Did you honestly expect them to leap up crying, 'Oh goody, German practice and jogging'?

I mean, couldn't you at least claim they need to infiltrate enemy territory (with tanks) and carry out a spy mission involving speaking German and then running away?

Parker231 · 16/08/2017 09:27

Why not let them just play or laze around in front of the TV - they are on holiday not at school.

jelliebelly · 16/08/2017 09:29

Are you mad? They (and you!) are on holiday!!

Original poster
TAMumof3 · 16/08/2017 09:30

So maybe they will be OK if I leave them alone a bit ?
Seems to be the general view so I 'll back off today and see if I can flow a bit.
Hard not to be needed so much anymore I guess.
Just don't want to let them down.

OP posts:
SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 16/08/2017 09:32

Unless your children have a very structured need for routine, the free time of the holidays is important. Learning to manage your own time is a skill that is invaluable in the workplace, and children won't learn that if they are constantly micromanaged.

Most days I'll tend to have some kind of feature to the day even if it's mundane like the supermarket, but much of the day is unstructured.

My DCs are younger. We're still doing reading, but more time for me to read more complex stories than the older one's reading level. Getting DS1 to read is less structured than the tick the reading record approach of term time, reading signs, comics etc, but it's more reading for life and stopping skills from atrophying (he's finding it a challenge at school). We do little bits of writing, again very informally.

Their general education is boosted by what we see out and about, watch on tv etc.

Being relaxed and space for spontaneity in the holidays has it's own benefits, and doesn't exclude their education.

BannedFromNarnia · 16/08/2017 09:32

I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of education during the hols but that sounds miserable, tbh. I would hate that level of scheduling on a holiday.

That said a little structure isn't a terrible thing: what about doing some advanced planning about where you're going to take them, e.g. a bigger trip a week and a couple of smaller ones (mix of fun and educational fun), then they can all see when and where they want to do other things. Then ask them to do X chores and Y bits of german or whatever a week too - just not very much actual schoolwork, say three sessions over 7 days?

And by trips I don't mean things that cost, just 'Monday we'll go to the nature reserve, Thursday the free museum in the big town, Friday lunchtime we'll have a picnic.'

Groovee · 16/08/2017 09:36

We are lucky to live in a city where things are often free so it's just the cost of the bus fare. We used to love to head out for day in town.

But you sound like my SIL who wants the kids to have fully packed days instead of downtime.

WyfOfBathe · 16/08/2017 09:37

Just don't want to let them down.
There's nothing wrong with offering German practice and jogging if you think they'll feel let down without it, but there's no need to force it.

Justdontknow4321 · 16/08/2017 09:40

There happy playing, I'd leave them.
If they say we're bored later then I'd say about going for a run but maybe somewhere like run to the local park? Or do you have any woods near you?

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