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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or should I fund my boyfriend's whole birthday?

35 replies

FlyingFox95 · 16/08/2017 01:35

Hey

Just looking for some opinions more than anything. My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and I'm trying to plan a wee day for us. It will just be the two of us so nothing huge. I am a University student so generally pretty skint as I can only work part time.

I'm obv getting him a cute present but I thought it would be an idea to go for a meal out somewhere. Would it be fair for us to split the bill or should I pay all of it?

Just need a general opinion about what would be acceptable to help me budget and make plans.

Thanks :) xxx

OP posts:
NewBrian · 16/08/2017 01:38

You can't arrange something nice for his birthday and expect half. Go somewhere you can afford or cook him a nice meal.

MyKingdomForBrie · 16/08/2017 01:38

Of course it would be fair to split! It's nice of you to organise but if you're skint then it makes sense to share the cost, and It's not his present. It would be a nice gesture if money wasn't an issue but it is.

GwenStaceyRocks · 16/08/2017 01:41

If someone invited me out for dinner for my birthday, I'd think it was a gift.

MyKingdomForBrie · 16/08/2017 01:43

It's not 'someone' though it's her boyfriend. Who is presumably au fait with her finances. Maybe give him a choice - cheap restaurant and you pay or fancy and split..? You know him though so you would know best how he would react.

As pp said you could just do a nice meal at home, candles etc..

Original poster
FlyingFox95 · 16/08/2017 01:49

A night in would definitely be ideal but he's between properties at the moment and staying with his friend and I'm living with mum and dad. He may or may not have moved into his new place by the time his birthday comes about but we'll need to wait and see how it goes :) Fingers crossed though because that would be so much more comfortable

OP posts:
Twitchingdog · 16/08/2017 02:04

Just have picnic somewhere romantic

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 16/08/2017 02:24

You invite him out for his birthday, you pay. But if you can't afford to then surely he would know that. If not, explain to him. Sure he'd be happy just to have a nice birthday spent with you .

valiumguy · 16/08/2017 02:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GirlDownUnder · 16/08/2017 02:40

^ Dick.
Reported

ReanimatedSGB · 16/08/2017 03:06

Try googling stuff like 'romance on a budget' or 'free things to do' in your area.
If the birthday is fairly soon, there's a reasonable chance of OK weather - a picnic somewhere relatively remote also gives the opportunity of including a little bit of birthday... shenanigans if you are both into that.

SouthWindsWesterly · 16/08/2017 03:12

Where do you live OP? There are some great groupon deals for meals out and if you have enough budget, possibly a meal with a stay overnight. Just a thought.

Alternatively a travel lodge for the night with a fish and chip supper. Time alone is always a good one....or maybe that's the parent in me 😂

BadHatter · 16/08/2017 05:22

Does he pay for the vast, vast majority of out of house dinners?

If so, you should pay for the whole dinner and maybe even go see a movie together (you pay for these too).

I'm sure he would feel very appreciative of you spending your money on him in the way he (I'm assuming) regularly spends on you.

SuperBeagle · 16/08/2017 05:28

You can't expect him to pay anything if you take him out for his birthday.

Just do something inexpensive.

lunar1 · 16/08/2017 05:28

It's his birthday, plan something you can afford.

HotelEuphoria · 16/08/2017 06:03

Agree, no way can you expect him to pay half. There are loads of things you can do for not much money, some of which are mentioned above. I love the idea of the picnic. Lovely food, a bit more special than an egg mayo sandwich and a nice bottle of cheap fizz. Lots of fancy deli stuff in Lidl.

TakeMe2Insanity · 16/08/2017 06:05

Birthday = Birthday treat.
You can't expect him or anyone to pay half on their birthday. Just do something smaller but in budget.

hesterton · 16/08/2017 06:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katmeifyoucan · 16/08/2017 06:29

No you cannot expect him to pay half on his birthday.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 16/08/2017 07:01

DH and I often split the bill on our birthdays. I don't see a problem providing you make it clear before you go.

littlemisssweetness · 16/08/2017 07:27

Would he pay for all of it on your birthday?

Zebrasinpyjamas · 16/08/2017 07:33

I think splitting it is fine.

NikiBabe · 16/08/2017 07:35

You're only uni students. You dont have alot of money.

Make the restaurant somewhere simple where you can get 50% off vouchers or 2 for 1, somewhere like Pizza Express. If his course is free anyway it essentially is going halves.

It doesnt have to be somewhere hugely expensive when you're a student.

FittonTower · 16/08/2017 07:35

My husband and I put birthday meals on the joint account. I earn loads less than him and he likes to do nice things on his birthday so that works for us. We went away for his 40th and that all came out of the joint account too. I buy him presents that I don't expect him to pay half of tho!
Same with my friends. If we go out for a "birthday meal" we all pay our way

PodgeBod · 16/08/2017 07:35

You should pay even if it means going somewhere cheap.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 16/08/2017 07:43

It's his birthday, if you want to have a meal with him take him somewhere you can afford.

Also lots of places do coupons for 2for 1 etc so have a look around.

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