Anyone with anxiety?

[GrampieRabbit]

I'm going through a shit time ATM by all accounts. Just been through court last week to get a non mol on abusive exP. Loads of money problems, he left me with debt and I'm having to borrow money off family to pay my rent. Raising a (beautiful, hilarious) handful of a 2 year old completely alone. New job which is good but brings new worries about how I'm getting on etc. Back at uni next month which causes me untold levels of stress (balancing it with DD/ work and I am so capable of getting a first so put loads of pressure on myself but for some reason I massively procrastinate so just find it all v stressful). My tenancy is up for renewal and the inspections cause me loads of anxiety even though my house is fine. I'm worried my exP will just fuck my DD off completely and she'll grow up without a dad. My kittens have caught fleas which I've hopefully beaten in the past couple of days but still have the ick about it and it exacerbates my insomnia, which exacerbates my anxiety. I'm 23, still feel like a kid really, with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I've beaten my depression. Feel happy to have got the non mol, feel safer. My DDs a legend and so funny, I've only got one year of uni left and then hopefully I'll get a much better job and things will be loads easier.

But this anxiety is just killing me. On my lunch break the other day I actually felt like I couldn't walk because it was so bad. It really feels like a chemical thing in my brain which I can't control (whereas the depression felt different, obviously I know it doesn't for everyone).

I had substance misuse issues as a young teen (was homeless and just slipped into that world), so the docs are very keen not to prescribe anything too potent. I bought some Valium off an acquaintance of exPs last year, worked great, but then we broke up and it was hard to withdraw so I don't think benzo's are what I'm looking for anyway.

I've been prescribed sertraline before, but the initial side effects turned me into a zombie and I get you just have to get through it but with DD and all the plates I have to keep spinning it was just impossible.

I'm on propranolol ATM, makes a tiny bit of difference but not much.

Gonna make a doctors app tomorrow but want to come armed with info. Desperate not to have a breakdown one day and fuck up everything for me and my precious girl, I'm all she's got.

AIBU to ask what works for people here? Anything with not too many side effects? Would be really grateful.

Oh all that background was because the doctor always tries to work out if the mental health issues are 'circumstantial' or not, and they seem to be less worried when it is and make clear that anyone would feel like this in a similar situation. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with unfortunately!

Didn't want to get 200 IABU due to unnecessary 'woe is me' waffle

Ah OP, I feel for you 30mg of citalopram daily works wonders for me, plus CBT was invaluable - there was a specific 10 week course I did through the NHS called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. If you ask your GP for a referral to your mental health team they should be able to tell you what's available in your area.

Also, if you can afford it and want to avoid a long waiting list, CBT is usually available privately and you can self refer - I did that too.

Fuck. You are having a hard time. But it does sound like you are coping really really well (I'm a lot older and would struggle to cope). So firstly, be proud of yourself;you are a great role model for your daughter. I don't find propranolol much use either. But I find both sertraline and citalopram work; but they both take a while to work and the side effects can be horrible at the beginning

I did CBT when I had antenatal depression. I really liked having someone to vent to, and my counsellor saved me from a very dark time, but I didn't find the actual CBT amazingly useful (or I just felt I was a bit rubbish at it). I know it has a long waiting list in my area, and definitely can't afford to self refer (am just managing with food on the table ATM), but I'm going to access counselling through my uni when I start again next month - I imagine their provisions are loads better timewise at least.

I've not heard much about citalopram, I will research it, thanks a lot.

Thank you MammyLamb ** it's hard isn't it, I guess there's no easy time to go through shit side effects for anyone. When I got prescribed them it was exam time, then it was summer holidays but I was just starting my new job, still new now and coming up to beginning my third year. Maybe I'll just have to power through, I know I can care for my DD sufficiently on whatever but I guess it's the other stuff I'm worried about failing at whilst side- effect ridden zombie-like

I had citalopram for anxiety, it was quite good.

I would recommend Rhodiola Rosea also, you can get in inany health food shop - don't take it with the anti-ds / mention it to doc before taking with them, but it is an adaptogen, meaning it helps with stress/resilience.

Thank you, I'll look into that too

I have people come into my work (NHS) raving about fluoxetine. Was originally just gonna go in and ask for that but thought I'd write this post first anybody with experience of that? Does that have less initial side effects?

I and another mum I know with bad anxiety are both doing well on Mirtrazipine. It has good anti-anxiety activity in addition to being an anti-depressant.

I suffer from a mixture of anxiety and depression and whilst I've always had depressive episodes the anxiety I experienced last year was terrible and made me.quite suicidal feeling. I was prescribed a tiny dose of a drug called quetiapine (12.5 mg, smallest pill is 25 so I have to chop them up). It's an antipsychotic drug which terrified me but studies (so my go told me so have no reference sorry) show a low dose is excellent for anxiety. It has turned my life around. I found propanolol was good but made me a bit sleepy. I've been doing some work on breathing techniques which have helped. On list for counselling which I think will help too. You have an awful lot going on and I really think you are fab for being so responsible. I know at your age I woudlnt have had a bloody clue.you are brave for leaving an abusive relationship and are able to provide for your daughter and further your education. I think you deserve a big pat on the back! Have a good chat with your gp, hope you have a good result.

I'm really sorry you're having a hard time at the moment. You have a lot to deal with.

I suffer from anxiety along with other mental health problems so can really sympathise.

Maybe just stop for a moment and whilst realising things are hard and causing you to be anxious look at all you are achieving and all the achievements to come. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything and our anxiety just spins out of control but if you can take some time to look at your achievements and allow yourself to feel proud this should help your anxiety.

Raising a child alone can bring its challenges but to have gone through what you have, hold down a job and going to uni to make a better life for you and your daughter should be commended and maybe you need reminding of that?

Sorry, no suggestions to add but wanted to say you sound bloody amazing to be doing all of that whilst suffering from anxiety. I hope you go from strength to strength 💐

Anxiety is a pisser of an illness because unless you suffer, people don't really understand it. Citalopram is good to keep the worst of it at bay

Oh yes, I forgot about quetiapine! I had exactly the same as a pp, a 25mg tablet chopped in half, prescribed by by CPN. Worked great but made me very drowsy, wouldn't have wanted to drive or anything like that after taking.

Thank you, I'll look into those two other tablets. ExP was on quetiapine for pretty severe bipolar and it wiped him out, but I guess he was on a much higher dose.

Thank you to all the posters for their lovely words. It actually does mean the world, and I do try and think back to 2 years ago when I was pregnant and homeless, living in a hostel with a load of violent drug addicts; no job or uni course or hopes for the future.

Since then I've got a scholarship after receiving one of the best grades in my entire cohort (the 50 top out of 30,000 got it). I'm completely free from an extremely violent and abusive man. I've built us a beautiful home, my DDs room is gorgeous and we have a lovely little garden. Ive built up lots of work experience which will help immeasurably if I decide to go for a doctorate in my chosen career. I've raised the most amazing, polite, hilarious and kind little girl, who is so perfect even after coming from a 'broken home' - hate that phrase.

I've come a long way and try to remember that when I can. The bastard anxiety voice reminds me that it can all disappear as quick as it came, but I try to rationalise as best I can.

Thanks again. I remember the doctor said a few months ago that looking at my records before my visit he expected to meet a completely different person to the one I am, and that my daughter was very lucky to have me as a role model. Cried my eyes out as soon as I left that appointment

I'm taking driving lessons ATM, I'm really not sure how I'm gonna balance things without driving (Uni's 2 hours away by bus, and somehow have to fit in working a non flexible job). My anxietys caused me to fail three times. But then all medicine seems to make you pretty drowsy at the beginning, and I desperately need to pass my October. Such a catch 22, isn't it?! Just like I was saying, never a right time 😑

YouTube breathing techniques/guided calm meditation and mindfull body scans.my saviours hun seriously.they if u REALLY give urself to them stop the fight flight doom in belly feeling.

Oh and I think u sound dam brave .inspirational and fantastic for keeping going.take care.

I struggle so much with meditation and mindfulness because I have this thing called aphantasia where you don't have a minds eye I.e. You can't picture things in your head so makes the whole process so difficult/ impossible. Think that's why CBT isn't great on me either.

On the plus side, I'm doing my dissertation on it and I'm insanely interested in it so will hopefully benefit me in that way

Thank you kateandme

I understand. I'm taking sertraline (150mg) for my pnd, PTSD and anxiety.

I've tried a variety (long term anxiety that peaks at times). I found citalopram okay but I got a tremor, setraline make me nauseous and then it gave me nightmares, so do paroxitine. I went to my GP who suggested a tricyclic called lofepramine. The only side effect has been dizziness on standing (which settled bit was easily managed but moving more slowly).

Can I just say you are incredible?! I think talking therapy would help you process things and CBT techniques to manage the anxiety.

Loads of different meds to look into, thank you all!

And I'm really not incredible. I've made a LOT of shitty mistakes in the past and even now I get myself into bother money wise etc. I'm still learning, like we all are I guess, and trying to make a better life for our kids. 🤷🏽‍♀️

But thank you. your message made me tear up, as have all the others. After hearing you're the shittest person, and mother, on loop for two years, it can take some drumming into that you're actually not.

Not got much to advise, but I'm following as I suffer from anxiety.
It's been getting worse lately but I'm reluctant to go to the doctors about it.
I don't want to become reliant on meds so haven't said anything.
I'm currently getting by with mindfulness (colouring pictures, star gazing etc)

Sertraline is a godsend IMO!