To be mad with my friends

[temporarilycross]

I probably am but I feel really cross about this. Met up with 3 friends- we have a number of DC between us- they all have 2 or 3 boys, I have one girl and one boy. Very much of the conversation was dominated by how glad they were not to have girl children for the following reasons:
Girls are stroppy
Girls are high maintenance
Girls 'talk about pink stuff' and they couldn't bare this because they like their rough and tumble boys
Girls are bitchy teens
Girls want to play dollies and princesses

I explained numerous times that girls are as individual as their boys, and much of the above is ridiculous bullshit. I found myself defending my girl as she is just as gorgeous and individual as my boy.
These are intelligent women and I think they just got carried away with themselves but still I was quite upset. I should get over it but I'm tempted to join the next meet up

I have 2 DDs and I do have this kind of thing. I get asked, 'It's a shame that your DH doesn't have a boy to play trains with.' Obvious answer here, who says girls don't like trains??

They're assuming that he wishes we had a DS, but actually that's totally not true for either of us.

TBH I hear this all the time from the mums of girls. They are always more studious, more interesting, more affectionate, tidier etc etc I usually just reply that I love having boys because I like them tracking mud in It's all pretty daft really.

I think there's possibly something to be said for discovering how much fun boys are though which might be the misplaced sentiment. Went through gender disappointment in pregnancy but discovered he was exactly the child I wanted all along even if I couldn't dress him in pink and bows. I think it's more common than we admit perhaps

It sounds like they are expressing their opinions rather than making an observation about your child.

They were 'expressing opinions' about girl children. OP's child is a girl.

Say the OP's child was black, would you expect her to sit and listen a load of negative bullshit about black children and say nothing?

I would just start replying "you haven't had a girl so how do you know what girls are like?" But then I'm a horrible cah.

YANBU. Being honest I wanted a boy and I got a boy and from being around friends' girls I know I'm more suited to having a boy but I would only ever say that on here. I'd never be so rude as to say it friends, regardless of the sex of their kids.

I'm laughing at happydoingitjusttheonce's post as I could have written that word for word....in reverse. I never fancied the idea of having boys and every time I end up in the company of small boys I thank my lucky stars that I had two girls. But a) that's just me, b) it's completely hypothetical anyway, so who knows how I'd have felt in the reality of that situation (or indeed, if I'd had different little girls from the ones I do have) and c) as happy says! I'd never, ever be so rude as to make that point to a mother of boys!

...so a long winded way of saying you're understandably miffed. If you want to be a bit passive aggressive about it, decline their next invitation or meet up on the grounds they've made their feelings about your DD pretty clear. They will, of course, not have meant it about her specifically.....but it might give them pause for thought. Because, of course, literally and logically they ARE criticising her. (Think of the classic argument in logic - all men are mortal, Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is mortal. Works here - all girls are dreadful, temporarilycross's DD is a girl, therefore temporarilycross's DD is dreadful. The logic is unarguable!)

Girls are high maintenance
Girls are stroppy
Girls are bitchy
Girls talk about (x) stuff

Replace pink with (x), whatever x is at this time and I think they could be describing themselves to a tee.

They're jealous. And to make themselves feel better, they're being bitchy and talking about how superior boys are. Not becoming and not mature.

They are absolutely trying to convince themselves they are happy with boys and I'm surprised this didn't occur to you, as it seems obvious to me, and other PP!

I'll go against the grain. These aren't you're friends. They were deliberately being insensitive and bitchy as they know uou have a girl

And for women to talk about their own gender in those negative term is simply shameful. They themselves are female unless they failed to notice. Sitting their slagging off their own gender and going on about how they preferred males is sickening.

I'd bin them off. And I'd be very glad that none of these so called women was inflicted upon a daughter. God knows what they will teach their sons. Or how they will deal with daughter in laws or grand children.

I agree with Bluntness 100%

Girls are stroppy
Girls are high maintenance
Girls 'talk about pink stuff' and they couldn't bare this because they like their rough and tumble boys
Girls are bitchy teens
Girls want to play dollies and princesses

My daughter is all of the above and probably will have her bitchy teen moments but she also plays sword fights, digs in the dirt with her nails, makes mud pies, rides her scooter like a maniac, plays bucking bronco with her brothers (quite scary if im honest) will jump down bottom four stairs (also scary!)

She also twerks as soon as she takes her clothes off which is also quite scary

My son is still scared of noises coming from the cranky old boiler and he is 9

Mittens1969 I have 2 DDs and I do have this kind of thing. I get asked, 'It's a shame that your DH doesn't have a boy to play trains with.'

I had a photo album full of train photographs from my grandad - he fixed trains when he was working - and he lives opposite a small train station!

I still get excited when a train passes over the level crossing

Mums of girls definitely do this too - I have two ds and a friend with all girls who pointedly remarked when we were both pregnant with our second dc that if she hadn't had a girl already she would be desperate for one this time round (I knew at this point that I would be having another boy). I found it really annoying - not because she had hit a nerve as I'm delighted with my boys, but the smugness and the clear desire to attempt to 'one-up' me. She is like this is other scenarios so it wasn't just that but it has contributed to me going right off her!

@lozzylizzy, my DDs like trains, they really enjoy travelling by train. They also like playing with Lego. My DH loves doing that with them.

The idea that girls don't like playing with trains is such gender stereotypes imo. My DH is a civil engineer and our DDs are fascinated by what he does.