Someone cheer me up!

[MessyHouse91]

Just stood up to find I'd bled all over a the brand new pastel coloured upholstered chairs my office had put in yesterday! Embarrassing isn't the word. Currently stood on a tram home with my handbag awkwardly hanging behind me. I'm fooling nobody. Someone tell me they've done worse and cheer me up?

Aaaaaaaaargh. Did you manage to make a swift getaway, or do people at work know it was you? Either way, it's happened to the best of us, OP xxx

Nightmare! Poor you.

Um, it's actually a bit hard to do worse than that... but it'll turn into a good story one day.

I'll make a try though: Search for this exact phrase on YouTube:
"Eurovision 1985 - Wardrobe malfunction"

It's from the Eurovision song contest 1985, the presenter drops her skirt on stage...

:-)

@Polly85 I sat back down as soon as I spotted it, pretended I'd missed the train home anyway so I'll sit in the meeting room and do some work, then swapped chairs round when everyone left. Don't think it'll take a genius when it's spotted tomorrow though considering I was one of three ladies in the meeting!

@Polly85 just to clarify, didn't move chairs so it looked like someone else, moved chairs to one of the unused chairs after small meeting in big room

Aw OP it's so rubbish. This once happened to me whilst horse riding, in cream jodhpurs. Looked like something from the shinning and didn't even have a bag to hide it with, was down to my knees

Did you not clean the chair?

@ilovepixie did my best with what I had on me but I don't carry around a vanish stick!

@MessyHouse91, well if there were 3 other women there then nobody can pin it on you, you have deniability! Treat yourself to a glass/bottle of wine tonight, you've earned it

I was once sick at a job interview, that's worse I think?

You poor thing, try not to worry, you could have done something much worse. It might not even be noticed for a while and whilst you know what happened, it may not be immediately obvious to anyone else. I can't think of anything off the top of my head but believe me, if I sat down with my friends and thought about embarrassing things we've done in the office, I'm sure we could all top that.

I don't know if you want to go down this route/what your work environment is like but you can buy stain removers for blood so could you go in early tomorrow or another day and try to remove it?

Don't be too hard on yourself xx

Start a rumour about your least favourite male colleague. "Did you hear about Darren from accounts? He was mouthing off last weekend and someone attacked him with an axe. His ass wound is still bleeding, apparently."

When I was 16 I laughed so much I wet myself at school! . My poor German teacher. Not quite the same but still bodily fluids.

I've just had an idea...get to work early tomorrow morning and spill something darker on it, like black coffee? warning, this may not be a good idea. I have had 4 beers 🍻**

@Polly85 after my glass half bottle of wine doesn't sound a half bad idea hoping to stroll in tomorrow (wearing black trousers and sitting on a black coat after today's trauma) and deny all knowledge.

When pregnant but not showing I was in a crowded lift when my stomach decided to announce my pregnancy. I threw up all over the back of the guy in front of me. Straight down his suit jacket and one trouser leg.

I wanted to die of embarrassment!

I vomited on the Group Scout Leader at a presentation night when I was a teenager. All over him, Scout shirt and everything.

My Sister and I took the DCs for afternoon tea in Fortnums once. Her DS is a bit of a 'livewire' and got mad because she said he couldn't have some of her wine. So he looked her dead in the eye and said "I'm going to poo myself now because I'm mad". And did so. Apparently it was a regular thing with him for a long time, whenever he got cross he pushed out a non-accidental-poop. The waiter at our table smiled like it was a totally normal thing to shit yourself at Fortnums. I suspect he probably gobbed in my Earl Grey to punish us, though.