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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let ds spend his birthday money?

48 replies

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 15/08/2017 08:35

Ds 9yo has £150 of birthday money left from months ago. At the time he wanted to spend the money on a football kit (he lives in footy kits) but we persuaded him to wait until all the new kits came out.

Now the new ones are out he's seen one he loves it will cost £75 for the whole kit.

Dh thinks ds should save his money and add to it, either, 'for his future', or for a purchase that will last many years.

I do think the footy kits are extortionate but as any mum of a football fan will know, they love them.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 15/08/2017 08:59

And why should he have to save the other half. Let him spend it all. It was given as a present for him to spend! Not save for several years.

Original poster

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 15/08/2017 09:00

And yes, we'd already persuaded him to wait for new kits.

As a compromise I'll get him to save the rest which I know he won't mind.

OP posts:

Gorgosparta · 15/08/2017 09:03

Spend half and save half seems a sensible solution.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 09:06

Your dh needs a kick up the backside. a) it is your ds's money and b) you had a deal. My mother frequently made deals with me - or rather told me what the deal was - and then reneged on them. Even into adulthood. It has taught me to always be accountable. Or to apologise if I can't do what I agreed. Because of this, my dd has a very righteous sense of justice at a young age (9). I'm glad you're not that parent.

PeppaPigObsession · 15/08/2017 09:10

I'd let him buy the football kit. My DD turned 2 in June, I was shopping a few days later and she saw a toy she really wanted, she;d been given £20 in money for her birthday and the toy was half that. It's still one of her favourite toys, and even though she doesn't yet understand I think it's a good habit to get into, spend half save half.

megletthesecond · 15/08/2017 09:15

Spend half and save half.

Mine are the same age and already have a huge amount of driving lesson money stashed away. They save birthday and Xmas money but spend vouchers.

Viviennemary · 15/08/2017 09:15

He should be allowed to spend it. Especially since he was told he could have the new kit when it came out. I wouldn't encourage squandering money though. A football kit seems fine.

thethoughtfox · 15/08/2017 09:19

He has saved money for months which should be commended and only wants to spend half of it and its on something he really wants. Let him buy it.

Babipotjam · 15/08/2017 09:21

He has saved his money though for months! Now he sees something he really wants. Surly that's what we all do?

simon50 · 15/08/2017 09:42

Its a very good idea to get your DC into the habit of saving, but that should be some of his pocket money each week so its regular.

But his birthday money should be his to spend as he likes. That said I had an uncles and aunts (when I was growing up in the 60/70s) who always gave my M&D money to buy Premium Bonds with, I had a few wins over the years, which were reinvested and by the time I turned 18 there was almost £1200 which in 1979 bought me a very nice 2nd hand car !

Biker47 · 15/08/2017 09:46

Yes, what an insane idea hmm

He's 9 FFS.

tiredbum · 15/08/2017 10:32

I have images of a 9 yrs old with a pension, with all this "save for his future" talk. He's young, and It's his money, if he wants to spend it all he should be allowed.

Orangebird69 · 15/08/2017 10:36

I'm assuming whoever gifted the money to your ds did so so that he could buy himself a present. So ds should indeed be able to spend ALL of it on what he wants. Your dh is indeed a joyless fun sponge.

dollydaydream114 · 15/08/2017 10:55

He's 9, FFS! Let him buy the football kit.

Great to teach kids to save money, but bloody hell, they don't have to save every penny they're given. Everyone deserves a treat now and again, and that is what birthday money is for.

Letting kids buy things they really want also teaches them the value of money IMO. He's thought carefully for ages about what he wants and how much of his birthday money it will cost, and he's been sensible in waiting for the new kit. Good lad.

agentdaisy · 15/08/2017 11:53

He has saved it for the future by waiting months for the new kits and he still wants it. If he's anything like my footy mad ds he'll live in the kit till he can't squeeze into it anymore.

My dc's are allowed to spend their birthday money on whatever they want, within reason, and are slowly learning that once money is spent then there's no more. They used to blow it all at the first opportunity but now save it for something bigger.

Original poster

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 15/08/2017 14:12

Thanks all. Yes agentdaisy we tend to buy them big and he squeezes every last wear out of them.

OP posts:

dinosaurkisses · 15/08/2017 16:02

Like a PP, my dad did this with every birthday and Christmas gift of money since I was tiny, the guts of which was from my lovely grandad.

After he transferred it into my name, I held on to it until I decided to buy my first car (which I still have) and spent he other half on my wedding.

I was never that bothered when I was a child - dad always gave us a tenner or £20 to spend on toys or whatever, and that seemed like a fortune when I was 9.

It might seem boring but I'm so grateful he made that choice for us- it made getting a start as a young adult much easier that it would have been if I'd spent it on Barbies or other tat when I was a kid.

Allthewaves · 15/08/2017 16:07

we do half and half - spend half and save half

buy the kit

Topseyt · 15/08/2017 16:24

You are right. The kit is £75, so he spends half of his money on that and he saves the other half.

That is perfectly reasonable. He still gets what he really wants, and enjoys his money without blowing all of it.

If your DH wants him to simply save all of it then tell DH to buy him the £75 football kit. Then DS saved all of his money and spends DH's. DH may be less keen on that idea.😀

LuLuuuuuuu · 15/08/2017 16:25

Wow

Let your son buy what he wants with HIS money

Your DH is a knob

elfinpre · 15/08/2017 16:30

We have other savings accounts for DDs which will help them insure their car or whatever when they are older. Birthday money is given in lieu of a present and I find it very mean that they wouldn't be allowed to spend it on presents chosen by them.

PoppyH56 · 15/08/2017 16:38

It's his birthday money!! I remember my mum always let me spend my birthday money on whatever I wanted, even if it was a load of toot because it was what I wanted at the time. And it was my money. Now I'm a 23 year old I can't imagine the £175 going a long way and thanking my parents for putting it into savings for me, I'm more pleased with the fact my mum was so lovely to me when I was little to let me make my own decisions about what do do with my birthday money that was gifted to me.

bridgetoc · 15/08/2017 16:39

Ignore your DH and let the poor child spend HIS money on what he wants.

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