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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU Saving changing rooms at the swimming baths.

29 replies

MargaretTwatyer · 15/08/2017 07:30

Took my DS (5) to his swimming lesson yesterday. It starts at a particular time so can't wait around and being the holidays it was busy.

I have twins just under 1 in a double buggy and can't take them out there as the floor is wet, hard slippy and their clothes would get soaked and they'd hurt themselves if I did. DS still needs a little help to get dressed so we need to be together in a space big enough for the double buggy. I use whatever is available.

Normally we go in the ladies communal but the narrow corridor leading to it is not accessible if another pram is left there or the lockers on it are busy, both of which happened yesterday so that was out and all the large family cubicles were in use except one.

In the only empty one there were two backpacks left. Now, the swimming pool has ample lockers and plenty were free and it is not the done thing normally to leave items in rooms during your swim. It also worried me slightly re security of unattended bags, so I lifted them slightly to see if potentially heavy enough to be dangerous and clearly all they each had in them was a towel.

So now I'm a bit pissed off because clearly someone has 'bagsied' the changing room and buggered off for their swim. So I decided I would use the changing room anyway because I thought it was unfair and rude to take one of a limited number of large changing rooms out of action for the entire length of your swim. It's also difficult for me to wait for a cubicle because the buggy blocks access routes somewhat and causes a bottleneck for other people. So we went in and started getting changed. I left the door ever so slightly ajar so if the person arrived they could see their bags were there untouched.

We were almost finished when suddenly a woman turns up and asks for the bags. I handed them to her and apologised saying we needed to use that changing room and indicated the double buggy. She was really arsey about it and snapped 'So do I, large family' then started stomping about getting her kids ready clearly pissed off I had gone in there.

She had 5 kids with her. Most of them were old enough to dress themselves apart from one who was about 6/7 so could possibly have needed a hand. She hadn't been in the pool either, so apparently they could swim unsupervised but not dress. And obviously because she hadn't been in the pool they had no need to leave the bags unattended.

We were out probably about a minute later and she was making a big show that she had a couple of kids cramped in two changing rooms and was having to go between them and towel their hair and was grumbling and huffing.

WIBU? Is it okay to bagsy changing rooms at busy times if you think you have a need? Should I have left the cubicle empty?

OP posts:

DesignedForLife · 15/08/2017 07:35

YWNBU. You can't bagsie a changing room for later, and all the pool near me have signs saying so. Talk to reception and tell them about your problems.

RoseGoldEagle · 15/08/2017 07:37

YANBU. People like that are not even worth your headspace though. I'd have just said 'you can't 'hold' a cubicle the whole time you're having a swim, it doesn't work that way!' And from then on completely ignored her.

NancyJoan · 15/08/2017 07:40

I find this absolutely dementing. Have always resisted the temptation to drop the pile of clothes left on the bench into a puddle - so far.

ScissorBow · 15/08/2017 07:40

Selfish arsehole! You need to come up with a set phrase if it happens again. The risk she took leaving her stuff in there was someone would use it while she needed her stuff. Tough luck!

Petalbird · 15/08/2017 07:41

Is it possible the bags where there just while they where showering?

pasturesgreen · 15/08/2017 07:42

The other woman was obviously BU.

On a side note, if you had worries about unattended bags, picking them up to guesstimate their weight is really not how you go about it.

Mothervulva · 15/08/2017 07:44

YANBU I thought you were going to say you bagsied the stall at first!

Much kudos to you taking two babies with you to the pool.

Pengggwn · 15/08/2017 07:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scrumptiousbears · 15/08/2017 07:50

I would have handed them to reception as abandoned. This happens all the time at our swimming pool. I would have locked the door whilst in use as well.

Scrumptiousbears · 15/08/2017 07:52

As a second thought if you are going to leave them abandoned then do it in a locker without locking it. Don't hog changing rooms. Reeks of entitlement.

Original poster

MargaretTwatyer · 15/08/2017 07:55

petal, no, the kids came straight out of the pool and we were in there long enough for it to be more time than that. The showers are also between pools and lockers so you wouldn't need to do that anyway.

pastures, yeah it probably wasn't the greatest idea. But to start with I literally just lifted the handle a centimetre to see if it was light. And if I'm honest, if you're in a pool 999,999 times out of a million it's going to be people's gear and not a nail bomb.

OP posts:

Lindy2 · 15/08/2017 07:58

We used to have swimming lessons at a pool that had just 2 cubicles and some people would try to leave their bags in there to reserve them. I just picked them up and placed them outside. One lady was quite cross with me but to be honest I didn't really care. I spoke to the staff and said what I had done. They said that next time I should bring the bag to reception so the person had to go to them to get it back. The cubicle bagging really annoyed them too.

Asalways · 15/08/2017 08:01

We had a woman that did this in the only family cubicle. I took her bag out and left it with reception saying someone must have left it behind.

KimmySchmidt1 · 15/08/2017 08:02

No you were hotly. She knew she wasn't supposed to leave them, they could have been stolen, and she took that risk. You needed a cubicle and it was empty. End of. I would have left them outside the cubicle personally and then denied all knowledge and said someone must have been in before me.

Anyway presumably she got the cubicle after you finished with it so no harm done.

Do not worry about it.

Asalways · 15/08/2017 08:03

Meant to say she did it every week. Actually didn't make any difference she still carried on doing it - she had one 8 year old son and there are about 25 single changing rooms completely free. I made it a point of principle to go in there with my three dcs, drag her bag through the wet and leave it outside

AJPTaylor · 15/08/2017 08:06

When i used to take dd1 and 2 to lessons, parents used to sit in the large changing cubicles whilst their kids had consecutive lessons. It used to give me the rage. My only stipulation in having a 3rd child is that she have private swimming lessons!

KERALA1 · 15/08/2017 08:11

There is no circumstance where it is ever reasonable to hog changing rooms. You did right op though like the idea of pp who handed abandoned bags to reception.

You change, put bags in lockers then sod off. My benchmark is - what would happen if everyone did this? If the answer is the system would break down you are being selfish and anti social.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 15/08/2017 08:13

Take bags out and put them somewhere helpful (like an empty locker on the other side of the changing rooms).

Then look confused when she asks you about them.

LizzieVereker · 15/08/2017 08:14

Oh YANBU. It's so selfish of people do this. I swim at our local pool almost every day, and most people (including swimmming lesson families) use the lockers and cubicles just fine. However there is one group of parents whose children have a swimming lesson on a Friday who seem to have decided to bagsie cubicles. It's really odd, no-one else does it all week. Amongst lots of ordinary cubicles they bagsie the two baby change cubicles, it's so rude. They don't even pack their things into bags either, they just lay them out on the benches so people really don't feel able to move them around. I ended up holding a woman's baby for her last week, whilst she dressed her other child as she couldn't use the baby change cubicle. I didn't mind, the baby was lovely.

Babyblade · 15/08/2017 08:16

YANBU

This is one of my pet hates.

Main cubicle 'napping at our local swimming pool is courtesy of the local swim club - hoards of 'em. I accept that they might not a £1 for the locker but if they're prepared to leave a bag in a cubicle unattended, why don't they just leave it in an unlocked locker instead?

Madwoman5 · 15/08/2017 08:17

Drives me nuts. In or out it does not stop me from using the cubicle. If in, they have to wait until I am done. If out, their stuff gets wet. Tough shit. There are lockers for a good reason. Mind you, round here it is mostly lazy kids who cannot be arsed to put them away. I make a big point of making sure my kids put their stuff in the lockers in the hope these lazy entitled gits will follow. You take your hoard swimming, you take the risk of juggling multiple kids in a small space. Such is the joy of parenthood.

Bostin · 15/08/2017 08:22

What difference does it make whether they were swimming or showering? No bagging of changing rooms at all! So selfish.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:22

The moral of the story is to bring a couple of plastic bags to gather entitled people's belongings into and shove them out the door. And if they don't come back by the time you are finished, dump them at reception. Some people are so entitled.

ImaginaryCat · 15/08/2017 08:22

Oooh this is a biggie for us. DD1 is in swim squad so we're there a lot. Loads of the other squad swimmers do it, I think they feel entitled because they're good swimmers, but their parents clearly haven't taught them manners.
My rule for DD is that it's ok for 6am sessions because it's only the squad in the pool, but any public session absolutely not. And only ever in single cubicles, never the family ones. I bollock her if I see she's been too lazy to put her stuff in a locker, and I'm not ashamed about mentioning it loudly in earshot of the kids who I know do it.

mummyretired · 15/08/2017 08:44

YADNBU. And in our pool the swim squad used to do it at 6am when there are also public sessions, until the pool management complained to the coach. There's never a good reason. Same with taking the locker keys home to 'reserve' a convenient locker.

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