To want to meet my bio brother?

[DutchSparkle]

Long story short. I was taken in by the Dutches when I was around 3-4yo. I grew up with Lion (+6y) and Star (my age). About 9 years old, when I was 14, Mum and Dad Dutch died and Lion and Grandma became our guardian's until she too died 3 years ago. I have a passport but have never found any other papers which has never bothered me but I have had a letter from Fred claiming to be my bio brother. I have no one to ask about how I became a Dutch and no papers to tell me. Fred is 3y olders and grew up in foster care. My DD and I do not want to lose what we have but I feel part of me needs to find out who I am. The other part feels like I am betraying Lion, Star and my parents memory. Help!

You are not betraying your parents memory. I can completely understand your curiosity

I should mention Star supports me wanting to talk to Fred and finding out anything I can from Fred who remembers me and other details. Lion doesn't. He is quite protective of us and I do get where he's coming from. We have nothing to back up Fred's claims and he doesn't want me to get hurt.

Your curiosity is perfectly understandable, and very human, and it wouldn't be betraying your parents' memory to (want to) meet Fred.

Maybe ask for a DNA test first, or some other proof (birth certificate?) before leaping in and starting a relationship with Fred. It'd be a shame to get invested in a relationship with him and then find out you're not related after all.

Good luck! :)

Thank you emmyrose. That is what Lion said. It's not that I didn't believe him but there was always that "protective big brother" feeling to it, that he didn't want me to meet him. You have kind of grounded me a little better (and probably Star too 😊) Can you get DNA tests done that aren't for paternity? That maybe a way to answer questions.

I'm thinking about asking him for a DNA test. Just worried about his reaction. If he says no he has something to hide? Can't thunk of any other reason to say no.

Is this one of those you only understand if you have DC of PRECISELY the right age?

I don't know. I'm 23. My DD is 2

I couldn't find the courage to call Fred so I wrote to him explaining I would like to meet him but I don't want to get hurt if it turns out he isn't my brother so would he be prepared to do a DNA test. .
Don't know if I've done the wrong thing but I can't say I didn't try

Were you adopted by the Dutches?

I believe you're entitled to see your adoption file, which should give information about your birth parents, and may also contain information about possible siblings.

I think the procedure is for you to contact Social Services in the place where you now live, and they'll explain what you have to do.