To turn the hose on anyone sitting on my wall

[EverdeRose]

My house is the last house on the street and being the corner plot has an L shaped wall around it where as all the other houses have fences. Throughout the day as I sit on my sofa I see people of all ages get to my wall give themselves a bunk up and sit there having a chat. So far today I've chased two mendown the road who'd decided to drop their water bottles in my front garden and gone out to another man who'd sat on my wall facing the house and let his dog piss on my doormat.
AIBU to start turning the garden hose on anyone who sits there.

Buy a sprinkler system. Job done.

YANBU at all. Motion sensitive sprinkler?

YABU. Stop obsessing about a wall.

Get a motion-activated sprinkler? Then you don't have to lift a finger.

It would irritate me too .... particularly the dog wee and rubbish! .... sprinkler is the best option .... and most amusing

Never thought of a sprinkler. That would be very amusing.

Ketchup on the wall is genius- I love that

Sprinklers is the best idea!

When I was a kid we lived in a house with a walled garden near a bus stop, my dad ended up painting the top with 'burglar paint' (no idea if that's the real name) and that black sticky stuff on their arses soon stopped everyone gathering on the wall

That would drive me nuts.

Start blaring Barry Manilow music out of your front window.

Or go and join them on the wall, help yourself to one of their crisps and say 'what shall we chat about today'?

I had similar issues. We now have a lovely bramble patch/black berry bush right along the front fence and no-one sits there.

Never heard of motion sensor sprinklers but you so need one.

Or one of those motion sensor novelty things that speaks - is love to see people reactions to that!

Spikes, big spikes, or a thorny bush.

Not spikes, that would be antisocial ( good citizen face ON) but you can get good sized stones, I think they are called Cornish pebbles at the garden centre and cemented to the top of your wall would be an uncomfortable sit I think. They need to be not so far apart that a bum can squeeze in but not so close that they support both cheeks.....

Definitely a sprinkler - so much fun to be had Or get yourself one of those monster water cannons and shoot them from cover.

I wish we could plant a big enough Bush but from the pavement the wall is about 5ft high but from my garden it's almost double that at one end. I don't know if I could get sprinkles to shoot high enough.
I'd love to use some of the burglar paint but dh says I'd just start a row. Plus the wall is light coloured so I think they'd see it first and run my fun. Maybe talc would work.