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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if we are cursed when it comes to childcare?

34 replies

hibbledobble · 14/08/2017 15:42

We had to leave childminder after fees increased by 20% with less than a months notice. Now nursery is increasing their fees by 70% with on a few weeks notice.

I found a nanny and had agreed a rate, and now she has just told me that she wants 50% more. We obviously can't meet this, as it's more than either of us earn.

I'm just wondering how on earth I am meant to work now. There are no other nurseries or childminders in the area. Plus if I don't go back to work I will need to repay my maternity pay.

Just a rant.

Incidentally can anyone tell me what they think is a reasonable rate for a nanny with own child in London, working their first nanny job?

OP posts:
ElizabethLemon · 14/08/2017 15:48

Could you look for a nanny share?

Are there really no other nurseries or childminders nearby? We leave in SE London and are surrounded by them. Have you looked at nurseries near your work?

I feel for you, it's a nightmare and the main reason that we haven't had a second child.

Brittbugs80 · 14/08/2017 15:55

Nurseries and Childminders will be increasing their fees to cover the Government offering "free" 30 hours that are not actually free as the nursery have to fund the shortfall.

Midlands Nanny rates are between £10 and £15ph. If you go to the childcare board on here and the Nanny section, they are helpful.

fivefour3twoone · 14/08/2017 16:00

Exactly what rate were your childminder and nursery when you started and what did they increase to? Those increases seem strange - what reasons did they give?

hibbledobble · 14/08/2017 16:05

I think we have too many children for a nanny share sadly.

No other nurseries within a reasonable distance. I know that's weird sibe we live in London but we live in a slightly unique part of London where people either tend not to work or rely on informal childcare.

My place of work frequently changes so I can't rely on a nursery near work either.

It just feels like every time I find a solution, it is taken away.

britt both times the rises were nothing to do with the free hours (long stories)

five The childminder never gave a real reason when asked. Bizarrely she told me it was because we used most of the hours we paid for when asked. She doesn't accept the free hours.

Nursery rise is due to central government cuts but has been done in a completely ham fisted manner.

OP posts:
Alanna1 · 14/08/2017 16:05

Try asking friends with nannies what they pay. I don't know anyone whose nanny brings their DC with them, sorry.

TheClacksAreDown · 14/08/2017 16:07

Do you have space for a live in nanny? Works out much cheaper in London than live out.

nannyuk · 14/08/2017 16:07

As a nanny it depends on how many children and what the hours are. Also where in London.

Brittbugs80 · 14/08/2017 16:29

How many children do you have?

Hidingalion · 14/08/2017 16:31

In London about 10 per hour net for the nanny- but she's live-in and we are insanely lucky and love each other.

VestalVirgin · 14/08/2017 16:32

Can your partner stay at home with the children? That'd solve the issue with your maternity pay.

BarbarianMum · 14/08/2017 16:37

It is annoying. But no one is obliged to look after your children on the cheap and if everyone is demanding more money than you're offering then you are probably not offering enough.

hibbledobble · 14/08/2017 17:25

We have 3 children, though the nanny would have only had 1 for most of the day.

I think one of us may well be forced to give up work, but that is less than ideal for many reasons (pension, career progression etc)

barbarian Thank you for that less than helpful comment. We didn't 'offer' a low amount to the childminder or nursery: they set their own amounts (which weren't cheap). It's the late and steep fee increases which I have difficulty with.

OP posts:
TwatteryFlowers · 14/08/2017 17:59

I can't offer any help or solutions as I don't live in or near London (though have you checked your local council website? There is a family information service page on ours where we could search for local registered childminders who pick up from our school).
I do understand how frustrating it is though. Just when you feel like you're sorted childcare-wise and you can get back to work and earn enough money to live on and support yourselves with little/no help, something comes along to disrupt it. We're facing a similar problem - our childminder text us last week to say that she's quitting just before the start of term just as we thought we had everything sorted for September and I was looking forward to what will hopefully be a busy term workwise. We've had to search for a new childminder with just 3 weeks' notice and the only person who might be able to do it can only offer part-time help.

It just makes you feel like you can't plan for anything and that your life is like a house of cards that could come tumbling down at any point.

AndNowItIsSeven · 14/08/2017 18:03

Your dh could take 12 weeks parental leave unpaid ( four weeks per dc).

AndNowItIsSeven · 14/08/2017 18:03

To buy you some time looking for a new nanny/other childcare.

AndNowItIsSeven · 14/08/2017 18:04

Actually nothing to stop you taking parental leave either.

Brittbugs80 · 14/08/2017 18:09

I wouldn't have thought 3 would be a problem, given they would have one the majority of the time. Are the other two at school?

There are some Nanny Agencies out there who can find you someone, I'm assuming there is a fee but probably worth it to relieve you off the stress. Nanny Nick on the Nanny board under Childcare is a wealth of knowledge.

Would a Nanny share work?

Can I ask what you offered the first Nanny?

imnottoofussed · 14/08/2017 18:27

Have you looked into the workplace nursery provision? It allows you to save tax and ni on your full nursery fee so can mean you save a lot of money. Your employer has to sign up and the nursery but a workplace nursery supplier will help with that.

hibbledobble · 14/08/2017 18:27

brittbug The other two are at school yes.

I'll pm you the amount

OP posts:
bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 14/08/2017 18:30

I feel your pain. We are going to have a slightly different childcare dilemma in a couple of years.
My village has 5 childminders - quite a lot considering we a village! I am currently with a fantastic CM but sadly she retires in 2 years so we will be without childcare. Without it - and I only need 2 days - I would have to quit my job which is about a third of our household income we would be without.
I cannot switch for the following reasons:
Childminder 1: Quitting this year after a serious safeguarding breach.
Childminder 2: Full
Childminder 3: Full
Childminder 4: Not taking on new children.
Childminder 5: Takes 8 weeks holiday during TERM TIME. I'm a teacher so I cannot take time off to look after my children and my DH is certainly not using up all of his holiday entitlement as this would mean absolutely no holidays, mini breaks or weekends away at all.

Our alternatives are:

  1. Quit my job which would mean a good 1/3 of our household income gone.
  2. Ask DH to take flexi time in a morning to take DCs to school and ask DM to pick up kids (which at the moment she is unwilling to do - don't blame her - because it restricts her in what she does. She already does one day a week for me.
  3. Move the children schools to a nearby school 5 miles away that does a breakfast club and after school club. BUT it only takes children from Y1-Y6 which would mean my DD who would start YR when childcare becomes an issue a problem. Though DH could take flexi time for a year and DM probably would say yes if it was temporary.

All the while the government are pushing parents to return to work with little regard as to HOW they could feasibly manage this in term of logistics and finances.

I am lucky - I'm a teacher so I don't have school holidays to worry about.

It certainly is a headache.

hibbledobble · 14/08/2017 23:53

banging childcare can certainly be a nightmare, can't it?

On the plus side you have two weeks notice, so anything could happen in the meantime. Maybe a new childminder might even start up?

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 15/08/2017 08:54

A previous thread about nannies with their own children had a consensus that there is a reduction in fees when a nanny has a child and many people felt that their child did not get enough time and attention in this situation.

hibbledobble · 15/08/2017 09:20

Thank you thought what reduction was discussed?

I have heard 25-40% reduction in fees quoted previously.

OP posts:
fivefour3twoone · 15/08/2017 09:52

I'm still a bit confused so the cm went from being something like £5 an hour to £8.50 an hour ??
I would have thought a nanny would be better if you have 3 children.

FrLukeDuke · 15/08/2017 10:09

Is going back to the CM with the 20% rise an option as it is less than the other rises?