Currently at Pil's house who live about 1000 miles from us. We come every summer with ds (4). Other of their grandchildren are here visiting too and they also live about 5000 miles away and visit once every 2 years.
AIBU comes from the fact that, despite not hardly ever seeing her grandchildren (other than the 2 who live in the same village and she sees every day), she insists on spending hours every day locked away in the kitchen preparing food. She won't accept any help other than clearing away the table and chooses to make things that take hours instead of something quick and easy to be able to spend more time with her family.
My dh has told her to make life easier for herself and come out of the kitchen but nothing changes. I'm not ungrateful for her hospitality but just think if she wants any type of relationship with her grandchildren, she needs to get out of the kitchen. We're talking about a typical south med country where the older generation are very much like this but I find it so frustrating. We try to suggest all goi g out for lunch etc but she won't have it and I just feel it's almost a bit martyr-like that she feels the need to slave all day in the kitchen to provide. There are much easier alternatives.