Or do I not understand how conversation works?

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

Colleagues A and B chatting right behind me at work, A is buying a car and was talking about how to choose. At an appropriate time in the conversation I turned round and asked what she was looking for and agreed with the pressure of the purchase cos i had had to do the same for our family car. Few more mins of chat then she left.

10 mins later I saw an email on B's screen saying she left the conversation cos "rollon making it all about her was doing my head in"

Am I missing something? Isn't sharing your experience something that normally happens in a conversation? I was agreeing with her!

In this incidence fuck em tbh as am leaving job next week but would hate it if all other people i knew thought I was just a self centred cow!!

Just to add, we do all chat generally so it didn't appear to be a particularly 'private conversation and if it was, don't bloody have it 2 feet away from me!!

To me, you sound like a normal, well-socialized human being. B sounds like an uptight fuckwit.

The very fact that she sent an email slagging you off is all you need to know about the kind of person she is.

Best out of there!
Nasty comment.

I think people who talk about themselves too much don't realise they're doing it. Drives me mad!

Some people do have a habit of making a conversation all about them although also, most people also introduce something about themselves in conversations.

No one here can be sure how you are in general.

Two possibilities

• Either you are the kind of person who always brings everything back to their own experience and this is a pattern of behaviour that has pissed your colleagues off

or

• You're perfectly normal and well-adjusted and person A is a narcissist who can't bear for a conversation not to revolve around them 100% of the time.

you are leaving and so you are now their topic of bitchiness op.
horrible to read.
F**k em

I am a talker I will admit but I hope I am not really self centred about it?!

I am paranoid now that every time I leave a room everyone breathes a sigh of relief!

I expected it of B tbh as she spends all day slagging people off but felt a bit shit that A had said it when I thought she was nicer and usually seems up for a chat!

you are fair game because you are going/have only just arrived.

Maybe you do it a lot? Some conversations don't need you to share your experience in order to agree with someone. Maybe she was having a moan with her friend and didnt like the way it turned into your moan instead.

I wasn't moaning fray it was more like "god it's a hard decision to make Isn't it? My DH left our purchase up to me and I really felt the pressure!"

That was literally it.

I am annoyed that it has bugged me so much as as I said, won't ever seen them again in 2 weeks but it has made me insecure now!

dont worry once you go they will turn their bitchy attention to someone else

The otherside of this could be

'I was chatting to a work friend. A colleague who wasnt in the converstation then turned round and interrupted up the converstation and started talking about what happened when she bough a car. She is a talker and does this a lot. Aibu to find this annoying'

The situation can be very different from each persons point of view. So unless someone is there is hard to tell if it was joining in converstation or interupting and making it about you.

But either way her email was nasty.

Maybe A was being bitchy because she was agreeing with a bitchy opinion that B had already stated. Maybe she's bonding with B because you are leaving and she needs/wants a friend at work?

Grasping at straws really...

You agreed with the pressure of the purchase because you had had to do the same for your family car? And what does this personal experience of yours add to the conversation? Surely everyone buying a car experiences some pressure? Besides a house you'll never buy anything so expensive. I'd be annoyed if people entered my conversations to talk about themselves and state the absolute obvious.

Recalling your own experiences can add to a conversation if you have any insight but I can't see it in your example, especially as you entered mid-conversation to do so. It just seems self important.

What an inappropriate use of work emails. I would be tempted to spitefully report to hr. I do find I have a tendency to talk about my own experiences and try not to too often so I hope it doesn't annoy people see I'm doing it again but I think if you are aware of it then you probably stop yourself from doing it all the time. Also they sound like bitches

And what does this personal experience of yours add to the conversation?
Sympathy for the person currently trying to buy a car.

OP, on paper computer screen, you've done nothing wrong.

Mary I didn't specially join in just to add that - they were right next to me so I naturally for drawn into the conversation (by them beginning to look at me as they spoke) and then was empathising with her dilemma!

Maybe I should just stop over analysing and stick with the 'fuck em' thoughts from my OP!

It might be that they are just being bitchy (likely, as people generally wouldn't send an email like that), or you do have a tendency to talk about yourself too much. No-one here can say if it is the latter as we don't know you. Maybe see this incident is an opportunity for you to assess yourself and be aware of what you are talking about in conversation?

Next to you or behind you.

Because it feels like a drip feed that you were next to them and they were making eye contact. Their body language was inviting you into the converstation.

I don't think you did anything wrong. It was hardly a private conversation. If they don't want anyone else to overhear or add to their chat then they could catch up on their lunch break. When people come up to me at work, no matter who I'm already talking to, I just think they're being friendly. I'd rather be friendly with everyone. It was massively bitchy of her to send an email, very high school.

It really doesn't matter if they were behind or beside. If people are standing right next to me at work, then they will have to accept that I might join in. If they want a private conversation, then they should go stand somewhere else.

We don't know because we weren't there, OP. It's possible the woman who complained about you in an email was being bitchy and unpleasant. It's also possible, especially as you describe yourself as a 'talker' that you have a habit of dominating conversations without realising it, and bringing everything back to your own experience, rather than demonstrating any interest in the other person or people, and in how their experience differs from yours. This doesn't sound like that, but at its extreme that turns into the kind of intense self-absorption that means you start going on about the death of your kitten when a colleague has just returned to work after their parent's funeral.