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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Freaked out by 2am knock on the door

150 replies

PinglePongle · 14/08/2017 11:18

Can't stop thinking about this so hopefully someone will come along and give me some ideas as to what this person wanted!

We had a knock on the door and someone rang the doorbell last night, we have cctv on the front door so didn't answer but standing there was a lady around 65-70 with a walking stick chewing gum standing at the door. When we didn't answer she then went round to ours cars and started to look through the windows (maybe tried the handles)

I can't for the life of me think why she would be knocking on our door, she didn't look frightened / concerned about anything, in fact she seemed quite bolshy chewing gum standing at the door. She then walked back up the street slowly with her walking stick and didn't knock at anyone elses in the row.

We called the police and they said that they had a similar call from a neighbour and would send someone out.

What on earth could she have wanted? Seems strange that a lady with a walking stick would be trying to steal our cars whilst standing on a bright floor lit drive after knocking?

We live on a quiet street, keep ourselves to ourselves and you have to come a way in to our corner plot to come off the street

OP posts:
amermaideindesguise · 14/08/2017 12:51

i wouldny have opened the door either op

differenteverytime · 14/08/2017 12:52

Just thinking about my own experience again - what I'm saying is that part way through, when I opened the door and realised I was dealing with a crying young girl, my initial panic and phoning the police seemed like an overreaction. It was only afterwards that it turned out to be just as well that I'd called them. If I'd just swung the door open and brought her in, we'd have been in a terrible position when things kicked off. The fact is that with small children in the house you, and they, are vulnerable. I have a confused elderly mother of my own but if she went to someone's door late at night I'd honestly prefer it if someone called the police rather than they, or their children, being frightened. If nothing else, it gets them on the radar as being vulnerable.

RatherBeRiding · 14/08/2017 13:00

Presumably if this unknown person was genuinely in need of help they would have tried at the other houses when the OP didn't answer the door.

But they didn't.

I wouldn't have answered the door at 2am either. I might have called down from an upstairs window but no way in hell would I be opening the door to a stranger in the middle of the night.

Feelingiabu · 14/08/2017 13:10

I wouldn't have answered to what you've described either op.

If someone seemed to be in distress I would talk to them through a window while on the phone to 101 and let them know I was on the phone to 101.

I'm with you op you need to protect your own family in the first instance.

justkeepswimmingg · 14/08/2017 13:12

I wouldn't have answered the door either OP. Sadly that's the world we live in now, where we cannot trust anyones intentions. I've read about, and seen a lot of footage, online about people being attacked or robbed using a 'vulnerable person'. It's definitely knocked my trusting of strangers, but I would always call the police incase that person really is in danger and needs help. I have to protect my DC, and will not put them at risk at all.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 14/08/2017 13:14

Sadly that's the world we live in now, where we cannot trust anyones intentions

No, that may be the world you live in now, where you won't help people because you are too scared.
I live in a world where paranoia does not over rule common sense, and I would have seen if this person needed assistance. A great number of people would do the same.

marmiteisgod · 14/08/2017 13:16

Just because someone is older doesn't mean they have good intentions

I wouldn't have opened the door but I probably would have shouted down to satisfy my own curiosity

When we moved in to our previous home a relative of over the road (old man) came to warn us that he knocked on doors at night looking for his wife who had been dead a number of years. He told us to call him and not answer as his father was a bit aggressive thinking his wife was hiding in the neighbours houses. He had dementia but sounded like a bit of an abusive nasty man. Luckily he never came knocking that we noticed

bumblebeebuzzing · 14/08/2017 13:16

no way would I answer the door to anyone at 2am bar the police. I would call the police and report it, particularly if they looked in distress or I thought may need help but I wouldn't risk opening the door. There was an article in the local paper recently about people knocking on doors asking for help then barging in.

Although I do live on a main road (front door on street) and often get pissed up people walking back from the pub who think it is hilarious to bang on our windows or doors at all hours.

differenteverytime · 14/08/2017 13:16

The actions of the woman afterwards suggests that either she was confused, or up to no good. If she'd been locked out, or someone had attacked her, she'd surely have seemed distressed, and I can't see why she'd have looked into the cars.

If she was up to no good, you were right not to open the door. If she was confused enough to knock on a stranger's door at 2am, you'd probably have needed the police anyway to find out where she came from. In your case, you called the police and missed out the part where you and your children were vulnerable. In my case, it was someone who needed help and posed a risk to my family.

For every anecdote where it was a cross-dressing thug with a baseball bat, there'll be an answering one where it was a poor sweet old lady. The people who got the sweet old ladies will - quite rightly - be glad that they 'did the right thing' and were able to help. But they can afford to do that, because it turned out the right way for them.

Viviennemary · 14/08/2017 13:21

It could have been a homeless person or somebody who was lost. Or somebody suffering from Dementia. Who knows. I wouldn't like a 2 am caller. But it's probably unlikely to happen again so forget about it.

Mmzz · 14/08/2017 13:22

If someone knocked on my door in the middle of the night, I'd be thinking it was a potential burglar who was trying to work out who lives in the house (because typically a man, if there is one on the house) would be the one to answer the door at that time.
Then they might come back the following night to actually break in.
Peering into the cars and trying the handles would only increase that concern.

However, i don't know how many burglars send their granny round first but not many I should think.
So, in short, I don't know, but I'd be making sure the doors and windows are all locked for the next few nights, just in case.

Bemusedandpuzzled · 14/08/2017 13:25

Wow, Mumsnet can be a paranoid place sometimes.

impossible · 14/08/2017 13:27

I'm agree with MimsyFluff and AgentProvocateur - it is worrying how insular people can be. Surely it would have been possible to find out if she was alright - or at least called the police - without risking your own safety. It;'s quite possible she had Alzheimers and she was certainly vulnerable wondering the streets.

A friend of mine was attacked in the street late at ngiht and she was walking home. She realised she was being followed and managed to scream before she was knocked unconscious. A couple heard her scream and ran outside and the attacker fled.The situation would have been so much worse had no-one got involved.

I have also taught my dcs to go to a house with a light if they are in trouble at night. I really hope someone would respond - even by just calling from a window.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 14/08/2017 13:28

I went home to my parents one weekend to be met at the gate by my father, he never did that. He was very worried because my mother had woken him at 2.00 am with a cup of tea, thinking it was time to get up.

It turned out to be side effects of the meds she was taking for a kidney infection and all went back to normal. It might be something like that.

However I wouldn't have opened the door because we have had Police around warning us to be careful, and also because if I had been in bed I wouldn't have got to the door very quickly, usually people have gone before I get there.

Zaphodsotherhead · 14/08/2017 13:28

Can I just ask a question about CCTV...

how does it help in the case of burglaries? Surely burglars have their faces covered when they break in? Or does it catch the ones who don't (and are therefore rather stupid)? Is CCTV admissable evidence (ie suppose a person just said it wasn't them but someone who looked like them)?

Aeroflotgirl · 14/08/2017 13:32

I have heard that burglars use this as a ruse, you answer the door and they bursed in. There was a warning issued on Facebook not to answer the door to a young child, as they were being used for burgleries, and instead call the Police.

NormaSmuff · 14/08/2017 13:34

i wouldnt pay any attention to Facebook warnings personally.
fair enough if the warnings came legitimately from the police

Madbengalmum · 14/08/2017 13:35

Well OP I don't blame you for not opening the door at that time. I have read recently about distraction burglary involving a women knocking on peoples doors with a child claiming to be running away from some sort of danger. You just dont know. Why on earth people think that makes you in some way paraniod i dont know. Clearly they are very naive themselves.

Madbengalmum · 14/08/2017 13:36

The warnings i saw were on police websites.

PoisonousSmurf · 14/08/2017 13:40

Maybe the lady has dementia? A friend of ours had an old lady who would turn up at odd times of the evening and once at night. She would bang on the door and demand to be let in.
This went on and off for a year (police called each time). It turns out that the woman used to live in that house and lived in sheltered housing down the road.
It only stopped when she got moved into a secure home.

streetface · 14/08/2017 13:41

It shows how little others understand about others when they call people 'paranoid, insular, selfish' for not answering the door.

Do none of you realise that different areas vary greatly? That some places are so downright dangerous that far from being 'paranoid' you would be insane and bloody irresponsible to open your door at that time of night (or any time in some cases) with young children in the house?

You try living in an area rife with knife and gun violence, robberies and doors being kicked in late at night so they can steal your keys and beat the crap out of you for a tenner and see how self-righteous you are then.

BumWad · 14/08/2017 13:44

I find it fucked up that you didn't answer the door tbh

AllToadsLeadToHome · 14/08/2017 13:46

It is a tactic that is used in this area, not a child but someone will go to the door and when it is opened the rest of the gang rush in. We get updates of crimes on the Police Facebook page and in the news. It used to be mentioned on the Crime section of Streetlife before it closed.

There have also been spates of gangs kicking in doors and windows. And just along my road, doors being opened with 'tools'.

People post photos from their CCTV online and if the camera is good it will pick up details.

Not long ago someone banged on our door at 3.00 am, didn't knock, just a bang, waited for the alarm or lights to go on and then another one. I know who it was though.

MudCity · 14/08/2017 13:46

At 2am I would definitely have had to call out of the window / answer the door. Most burglaries don't happen at night (when occupants are in) and I suspect few burglars knock on the door either.

I would definitely not believe all you hear on Facebook / the internet. There are so many urban myths flying around and so much scare-mongering. Makes me cross.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2017 13:50

I genuinely don't know what this world is coming to, when an elderly lady knocks on a door at 2 o' clock in the morning, and despite there being 2 (presumably) able bodied adults home, with CCTV cameras, they don't open the door or at least call out to her, to see if she needs help.

I don't know if it's sad, cruel or ridiculous.

Actually, probably all three.