To be thinking to just wash my hands with my mum?

[aliceyouvegonemad]

Have found out she's back with her emotionally and physically abusive partner she's been on and off with for years, after myself and the family giving her advice and trying to drill it into her head to leave him, I feel like it's all be thrown back in our faces again!

I could write so many things about him/what he's done, he's vile I get it's her choice and life but I just think what is it going to take him to do until she decides enough is enough for real?

She's even had social services involved with the kids but still she decides to get back with him. I feel sorry for my sibilings having to live there with the arguments and him turning up at early hours hammering the door calling my mum a slut/slag all he names under the sun.

She speaks to the young kids like shit and the stuff she comes out with will probably fuck with their minds, saying about getting rid of them, shouting slag at my sister.

She spends most of her time on her phone messaging blokes instead of getting her house in order.

I just think now I've had enough I feel sorry for the kids but she just gets on my nerves now! I'm 26 with 3 children and feel more adult with my shit together than she is.

Yanbu...how old are the kids and do you know what they're saying about it? I'm just wondering if they'd be asking if they can live with anyone else in the family if they get treated like shit or are they too loyal?

Are ss aware that she is back with him?

Oh my. That's awful. I was brought up in an environment where I didn't feel safe and couldn't be myself. Both parents were abusive - with my mother it was constant low level abuse. And it really eats you up inside. I can imagine how conflicted you and the children feel. On the one hand wanting to protect your mother but otoh wanting to protect yourselves from her.

Is there anything you can do for the children? It sounds like you have your hands full yourself with 3.

Anonymously report to SS and tell her you are cutting her off because you don't want to watch her acting so destructively any more. Keep your door open to your siblings if you feel able to. Must be horrible for you.

I meant to say. Well done for getting out. I've been deeply affected and still am. I'm in my 40's btw.

Ss aren't aware no, I don't think they are involved anymore, they were in the past. The police is always being rang too.

The children hate her partner and have asked in the past to live with their dad. 2yrs 5 yrs 11 yrs and 15 yrs. Maybe no contact is too far but I just know what it's like living there and as I've grown up and had kids myself I know I don't want to be anything like her, she'd always kick me out and call me fat. And now the only thing she goes on about is blokes that want to meet her

There has been so many times she's said that's it now with her and her partner so I've gave her loads of support, reminded her over and over again how she deserves so much better really tried to drill it in her head and then a week later to see she's back with him just feels like a slap in the face.

Then when it fucks up she's slagging him off going on and on, she thinks he's just so in love with her, anyone that loves you doesn't treat you like he does. I feel like she's setting such a shit example to the younger ones. When I first left home it was upsetting I wished I could just take them with me!

If you think the children are in any danger at all, then report her to SS again.
Has he ever been arrested or charged with DV? If so, then SS should be interested enough to go and assess the situation at least.

Sorry your mum is making poor choices, and very sorry for your siblings. Is their father not around any more, or could he actually take them?

Is it not possible to live with their dad?

I would be reporting to social services that they're back together.

I would report her.

Tell the DCs dad and report her to SS.