To have a baby at age 38?

[eviethehamster]

Am I? We have 3. We are toying with the idea of 4 for selfish reasons (e.g. It's an even number 🙄, we don't want our 2nd being a "middle child"). I have a history of m/c. I had 1 prior to dd1 and 2 prior to dd2. I conceived and carried ds1 without complication (unplanned). I am terrified of another m/c. I am terrified of pregnancy at 37.
AIBU to even consider this??

Also, pregnancy is much harder for some than others.

elephant- what's the difference?

I have a school age child and I am 55. I have just started a profitable business, I am full of energy.

"It sounds- could be wrong- that you are wanting another child to prolong your role as a full time mum rather than do anything else in your life (work?)"

Just wow.

Op if this comes from a real longing for another and you can afford it, cope with another baby along with your other 3 (obviously won't know that until said baby is here) then why not?

If it's more about ticking boxes re even number etc then maybe you don't really want this.

Only do it if you really, really want to. Especially given your fears and concerns

I am pregnant with number 4 at 36, will be 37 when it arrives. The children will be just 6, 4 and 2. Have also recently given up a full time city job to be a stay at home parent. I am always knackered anyway, no idea if it is age or having three very small children.

I don't think you are too old at all! A very good friend of mine who just didn't meet the right person at the right time just had her first at age 42.

It doesnt sound like you really have any good reasons to do it but you have good reasons not to.

Had first at 35 MC at 38 and then second at 40. No complications. If it's what you really want then why not.

Cailleach666 Bully for you! Do you have any actual advice for the inferiors or is it more of a crowing thing?

Assuming this is what that poster meant, I feel there is quite a big difference. I think there's a specific sort of energy required for dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, possible enlesss sleepless nights of looking after a baby, then running around after toddlers and tantruming 2 year olds etc.

Everyone is different, it's great you don't feel that way but I certainly wouldn't want to be rearing children at your age. If I'd had no choice but to have children later due to fertility issues or what have you, I would still have gone ahead, but so far I've been lucky and will enjoy spending time with my children as adults when I'm in my 50s, and (possibly) looking after their own children from time to time! I'd prefer to be able to give them back, at that age.

Again, everyone is different.

I had number 1 at 38 and number 2 at 39 so no yanbu.

38 isn't too old to have a baby but I'm finding that 53 is too old to be having a 16 year old in terms of wanting my life back and being pig sick of endless exams and taxi duty

I think three is a lot of children, you have a lot of worries. I would stick with three

OP, i find the very best thing to do when you are in a quandary about a big life decision is ... DON'T ASK MUMSNET

Most threads are roughly the same: about a third say go for it i did, another third says no, i wouldn't, and the rest is a mixture of weirdness and perhaps an in-thread row about something loosely related to the question.

Only you can answer this one for yourself OP

I had my 2nd at 38 with no problems. I was actually hoping for some extra care and attention bring that bit older but it's so common these days they just let me get on with it! Totally fine.

I had my first and (last baby) at 39. My mum friends in their late 20's definitely have more energy than me! I wouldn't have another one if you already have 3 but then I only ever wanted one child. Does you DP want another one?

Does your dp want another?
Do you have room in your house for another?
Is your car big enough for another?
Can your bank balance manage another?
Would your other children be happy with another sibling?

If you can answer 'yes' to all these then go for it. If not, think on.

YABU if you are doing it for the middle child reason. (You just end up with two middle children instead)

Other than that many of my friends have had their first at 38, if you have room and can afford it, go for it.

Not at all unreasonable. 38 is not old, lots of people have their first babies in mid to late 30s now. The average first time mother in the UK is over 30 now so if people have several children late 30s is the norm for the younger ones.

My opinion is that 3 are more than enough and I would have hated having a baby at 38, but that's just me. I was done having kids at 26 and am so happy with my decision. I'm now 44 and my kids are 20 and 18. Love it. I can't even imagine having a young child at my age. But to each their own. It's a personal choice.

What ages are your other children?

I already had two but remarried someone who never had children of his own. I thought I was done but he was such an amazing step parent that I started to feel bad that he had never had the experience of raising his own baby from birth so after 4 years I went ahead and fell pregnant at 37, gave birth a month after my 38th birthday.

No regrets but in all honesty, I wish I'd done it a couple of years earlier. 38 is a little too old in my view.

I had my one and only dc at 40. I parent alone 95% of the time and manage absolutely fine. Ds is 22mo. Maybe if I worked or had other kids I'd be a bit more knackered but I don't think 38 is too old. But other questions as I posted earlier need to be answered in the OPs scenario.

I think if there is a strong desire to have another baby and all the practical things are there (can afford it, can cope with another, healthy) do it!

I have three and thought I had no desire for another. I am now going to have a hysterectomy and I thought I may get a little sad at it all being final (DH has had a vasectomy but its less concrete than no womb) but it has just confirmed that I do not want to expand my family.

I agree with a PP that you are looking for reasons to justify the decision rather than just saying 'look I want another kid' .......does your DP/H/Wife (not sure of circumstances) feel the same about another baby?

DS1 at 28
DS2 at 38
All fine not having another at 48

I was in great shape and had no problems at all.

I had my first at 37 and my second at 41. Lucky enough to never suffer morning sickness or any other ailments during my pregnancies. I have never had to deal with the pain and loss of a miscarriage either though.