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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I'll be able to go to a hen party 6 weeks post c-section?

42 replies

Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 16:27

I'm MOH for one of my best friends next May, her hen night (which I'm organising) will be some time mid-late April.

I'm pregnant (she doesn't know yet), due first week in March and will almost certainly need a c-section.

She's a very good friend and will be pleased for me, I told her I was ttc and she was adamant that she wanted me to be her MOH either pregnant or with a small baby and she'd make whatever adjustments needed.

However, I'm a bit foggy about recovery times from c-section and not sure how recovered I'll be after 6 weeks. Is it realistic to think I'll be able to do a bit of drinking, eating and dancing after that amount of time?

This is second DC but first c-section was quite traumatic and no reason to think this one will be.

Is there anything I can do to self recovery along,

Sorry for such a trivial question. Blush

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 13/08/2017 16:29

Eating, yes, dancing loads I doubt it.

You'll be fine but I don't think you'll be going crazy. You'll still be recovering.

I'd go and take it easy.

Finola1step · 13/08/2017 16:34

All being well, yes you will be able to go. Eat, have a drink but you probably won't be up for drinking games, riding a bucking bronco, bungee jumping, running up and down the High Street at 2am wearing a set of fairy wings. If that is what the Bride is wanting for her Hen Grin

Twitchingdog · 13/08/2017 16:35

I think it will depend on breastfeeding / what the baby like/ what c section was like .
And of courses how you are all are .
But I would how out of organising now . As you have no idea if you be able to be there .

StoorieHoose · 13/08/2017 16:36

I went to see Morrissey 6 weeks after my section and I was right in the crowd with the rest of the middle aged Moz fans - fabulous night! Go for it you will be fine!

CatsCantFlyFast · 13/08/2017 16:36

It's so variable the recovery time. I would easily have been able to dance a couple of weeks after my section, others I know couldn't walk comfortably for months

Original poster
Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 16:36

Ok, thank you. I should add we are of the 'older' hen variety (I'll be 40) so it's not going to be shots and twerking but I don't want to be that boring one.

Equally I don't want to injure myself or slow recovery.

I honestly can't remember how long it took last time but it was 5 years ago and I think a lot has got lost in post-natal sleep deprivation!

OP posts:
SellFridges · 13/08/2017 16:37

I went to see Take That 5 weeks after a section. I drank, ate, and danced loads.

welshweasel · 13/08/2017 16:37

Yep I was pretty much completely back to normal physically, could run etc. But it was the peak of sleep deprivation for me so for that reason I think I'd have struggled.

Original poster
Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 16:37

Finola - proper lolz Grin

Thankfully NOT that kind of night.

OP posts:
Original poster
Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 16:39

Yes - I expect to be tired etc. We live in London so there's not lots of travelling and I expect I'll be cabbing it home by midnight.

Thankfully DH is extremely supportive and involved with childcare or it wouldn't be possible with a 6 week old and 5 year old!

OP posts:
DermotOLogical · 13/08/2017 16:40

I took 3 months to even feel remotely normal. My wound didn't heal, I got an infection. To top all this I definitely didn't want to leave baby at all for longer than an hour. If you are BF then you won't be able to.

jelliebelly · 13/08/2017 16:43

You might feel absolutely normal and love it - you might not though so be prepared to be "the boring one" or even "the absent one" if necessary. You need a co-organiser in case you really aren't up to it so the bride won't be let down.

jeaux90 · 13/08/2017 16:45

I was driving within a week of mine and was feeling normal ish within 4.

It all comes down to how quick you heal.

You should be fine to go for food and drinks.

Worst part was the first 48 hours. Once the staples were out after a week or so I was fine.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 13/08/2017 16:47

Yes. I was out at a football club end of season do 10 days post C section. I was driving within a week.

Original poster
Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 16:49

Thank you everyone. I'm not concerned about the organising as such as the bookings and the like will be done well in advance and there are 3 other Bridesmaids who are helping.

Hopefully I can just make it to the meal if not the more raucous bits.

I will not suggest I bring the baby as per other threads!!

OP posts:
AngeloftheSouth84 · 13/08/2017 16:53

Borderline. You may be okay, you may not. Six weeks is about the point at which you go from not being okay to being okay.

shoofly · 13/08/2017 16:57

Six weeks after bad vaginal delivery with DS1, no way. 6 weeks after elective C Section (breech and big) with DS2 absolutely no problem at all. Entirely dependant on factors which are outside your control.

Purpleball · 13/08/2017 17:06

If you're having an elective c section then yes. The recovery time is generally shorter than with an emergency one

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/08/2017 17:08

I was out and about within a week and driving at a month (as soon as doctor would allow it). We went to a wedding at 6.5 weeks and I was fine but leaving the mixed fed baby (who wasn't invited) was a thorough pain in the arse. I was away 5-11 and had the baby brought to me half way for a feed.

Original poster
Moanyoldcow · 13/08/2017 17:16

Purple - is that so? This will be elective, last one was emcs.

I don't expect to be the life and soul of the party but I'd like to not be wincing every time I move.

OP posts:
rachrach2 · 13/08/2017 17:21

I wouldn't have been able without baby due to cluster feeding, even if they'd taken a bottle I wouldn't have been able to express enough and would have been constantly expressing. Apart from that, physically I'd have been fine but emotionally wouldn't have been ready either time. I'd have been ok for a couple of hours.

My friends and family seem to be in the Mumsnet minority in that newborns (not older babies or toddler) are welcomed at appropriate parts of hen dos (meals etc, not nightclubbing obviously!) if it means the new Mum is able to come too. I've been to at least 4 I can think of where this has happened and a sleeping/feeding baby has had no impact. I think when I went to one when I had a four month old and kept needing to find a power source to express as the battery pack failed was more intrusive!

SunshineHQ · 13/08/2017 17:21

Also, they often plan to do an elective c-section at 38 or 39 weeks, I think from memory. So you may have 7-8 weeks.

PatriciaHolm · 13/08/2017 17:25

I was out to dinner 3 days after each elective sections.

People are different though. And in reality, you won't know if you are one of the "partying 2 days later" or "couldn't walk for weeks" people until it happens.

Lules · 13/08/2017 17:25

I went out for cocktails 6 weeks post section. Couldn't walk hugely far so had to get a cab rather than tube with tonnes of steps etc. Definitely couldn't have danced but would have enjoyed a meal and a couple of drinks. I couldn't have stayed up late due to knackeredness from lack of sleep.

Beelzebop · 13/08/2017 17:26

You will probably be fine, but you need a back up back up plan, for baby and you in case you can't go. Tell your friend xxx