To leave 3 year old downstairs alone?

[smileygrapefruit]

WIBU to leave my almost 4 year old in the lounge watching a film and playing Lego while I lay down upstairs with the baby? Toddler is napping too and I'm exhausted so really tempted to take this opportunity. There's also the fact I'm not supposed to leave the baby alone (SIDS risk) but she naps better when it's quieter. Tiny terraced house so can hear everything going on. I'm upstairs now settling baby and can hear DD1 chattering to herself quietly.

If the baby is a SIDs risk surely you would be using a monitor anyway?

Are you going to sleep? Or just hanging out? I wouldn't go to sleep, but I'd be happy enough to be in a different room for a while.

She's not at any extra risk. Those are the guidelines for all babies. And yes I have a monitor although like I said very small house and don't really need one...

I let my 3yr old play elsewhere in the house from me but wouldn't nap upstairs whilst he is awake.

No I wouldn't actually sleep. Just lie down and chill. Probably not going to get chance now anyway as baby is feeding again so toddler will be up by the time I might have had chance.

genghi babies are supposed to be in the same room as parents for all sleep for the first 6 months as it reduces the risk of sids. It's the parent being present helping to regulate their breathing and heart rate than reduced the risk so a monitor wouldn't help.

I don't think I would. A 3 year old may well be playing quietly now while you're supervising, but can get up to anything if you dozed off upstairs (like putting a whole pot of sudocreme in her hair that takes 53 washes to remove properly bitter experience ).

Being tired sucks

Could you doze on the couch and put baby in a moses basket or whatever you have?

I do usually have baby in Moses basket downstairs but she doesn't sleep as well. I wouldn't go to sleep upstairs, just thought it might be nice to have a lie down. Out of interest, at what age would people say it would be ok to do as I suggested?!

My DS used to be up at about 5am every morning at that age. He quickly learned to go down, turn the TV off and have the drink and snack I would leave for him on the table. He loved football but that was Spanish football at the time, so he became an expert and was over the moon when they won the world cup!

I used to wake up and keep an eye and ear open, but had no problem letting him get on with things. He never did anything he shouldn't do. 10 years later and of course, he is still in bed at 11am!

Out of interest, at what age would people say it would be ok to do as I suggested?!

It depends on the child really, but probably at around 5 or 6 I would say.

I do this without a second thought. Single parent no child care So needs must.

As long as you don't fall asleep I think it's fine? But I'm obviously in the minority, I'll often be upstairs tidying or doing things while ds is downstairs. I close the baby gate to the kitchen though so he can't get in there.

I'm not a single parent but my DH works 12 hour days 6 days a week including weekends. I'm glad to hear some people think it's ok. She misses out on starting school this year by 2 days... surely by school age they should be ok be to left, within earshot, for 45 mins, and know to just come upstairs/shout if they need anything?

I would do it but there are no stairs in my house, so I'd only be in the next room rather than on a different floor.

Do you have stairgates? Can your DD get to you if she needs to, or not? I think that would make the difference for me - if she can't get to you, then I don't think I'd do it.

No stairgates, well there is one but she can open it. There is no door between lounge and stairs. She cannot get in to kitchen as the door is stiff.

Unless there was some kind of special circumstances surely a regular 3-4 yo doesn't need stair gates. Your only meant to use them to 2 anyway. (I never had them!)

OP has a toddler as well.

If she can get to you, then I don't see a problem.

So yeah she could easily get me 😊

I suspect if you lie down, you will fall asleep. If you are happy that your dc will come and wake you if he wants you, then fine, but if you doubt if he will, then I wouldn't lie down, as you are BOUND to fall asleep.

Do you know any young teens that would come and play with him for an hour or two? My dd would do this like a shot (because she likes babies and toddlers, not for cash, but it might even be worth it it you had to bung them a fiver?). You'd still be there and she could wake you if worried a all, but your ds would almost certainly play happily then whilst you got your head down.

You'd have to make sure that the electric plugs are not within reach. IME 3 yr. old's are not sensible enough to ask if they could put on a dvd or whatever, they might try to do it themselves with dangerous consequences. I have never done it (Iam an exp. CM\nanny M of 3).

Has your child got an iPad, he could play on quietly upstairs with you?

I would and did do it with mine OP. DH also works 6 days a week similar hours.

They are much older now (6&8) and yesterday I told them to fend for themselves for lunch. I had D&V and couldn't leave the bathroom.

They raided the cupboard and the youngest had bread sticks and honey and jam for her lunch .

I think it depends on your toddler, I admit we have sometimes let our nearly 3 year old watch a video downstairs in the morning when we've had a rough night with baby just so we can have another 30 minutes of snoozing. He just comes up as soon as he wants Cheerios anything.
However I wouldn't do this in the middle of the day for a nap because of what he may get up to - whereas early morning (say 6am) he's only just waking up himself so I know he'll just watch his video and eat ricecakes.
Also there is no way in hell he would even let me have a nap while he's awake, he would just come up and wake both baby and myself.
But I don't see the issue if you're awake in another room with baby, just be prepared that your daughter may burst in and wake baby at any time...
Personally I'd get a cheap monitor and let baby sleep upstairs while you can have quality time with your DD1, except for at night baby should be fine sleeping in a different room (as long as it's in a suitable cot/crib with no soft toys etc).

I do this, have never given it a second thought.

Totally missed that theres napping toddler!

I'd do it with my 4.6yo. Don't think I'll ever be able to do it with the 2.6yo not even in 10 years time