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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be open mouthed at how cheeky this is?

16 replies

KraftSock · 13/08/2017 10:07

I've changed a few details so as not to out myself or harm confidentiality, but I have set up a support service in my local community with some other awesome people.
We offer help and support to those dealing with poverty be it temporary (eg job loss) or longer term.
It's not a very big "operation" and it's run out of an old building rented for 2 mornings a week, garage and a cold room. today a person came along citing that a relative had a new baby and were in need of help. I talked a bit about what we do, who we aim to help and what help we can provide explaining that I needed some more info to accurately assess that. So I probed for further information to see what kind of help was needed and what we could offer.
I was left a bit confused when I was told that the relative and relatives DP were just living on microwave meals because they didn't know how to cook a nutritious meal. I said. So I probed a bit more.
Is it a financial issue? Do they have appropriate facilities? Access/ability to shop?
All fine.
Any sn, learning difficulties? We can't help with that but can refer to other agencies who may be able to do so.
No no SN/LD.
right; so I ask well... what would you like us to do?
The response was something I didn't expect
"Well it's free food isn't it? Maybe they'll eat healthy if they can save a bit of money..."
I as politely as possible said we're not here to help people save money, we're here to help those in temporary and long term need. I can't help your relative.
We're relatively new at all of this and in fairness we have had a few chancers (who are drowned out by the genuine need) but this was so blatant. I'm shocked, really. I'm not sure why I'm posting I'm just so about it all!

OP posts:

witchofzog · 13/08/2017 10:19

This is your first and sadly won't be your last. I deal with food bank vouchers and have seen people make up family members to get more good or try to get food vouchers to save money for Xmas presents. It's shocking how grabby people can bec

emmyrose2000 · 13/08/2017 10:20

I'm glad you said 'no' to this arrogant leech. So often people are afraid to say 'no' in these types of situations. Well done!

How dare he think he/his family should be entitled to resources just because they're too lazy to do things properly.

NormaSmuff · 13/08/2017 10:22

no wonder places ask for referrals from professionals, ie health visitors.

can you ask for referrals like this?

Original poster

KraftSock · 13/08/2017 10:23

In fairness I'm not sure if the relatives he was asking on behalf of were even aware. I'd like to think they'd be horrified at the thought of this!
I've had people ask for more than they need (eg they don't get paid for 2 days, have no food in yet act a bit sniffy when they're offered a 3 or 4 day bundle of goods)
I've never had someone so brazenly ask for something in the name of money saving!

OP posts:

NormaSmuff · 13/08/2017 10:26

how will you police this op?

Original poster

KraftSock · 13/08/2017 10:27

NormaSmurf we do try to work with child protection services and support services but there's no standardised voucher/code we can use or create so It can be difficult to reach those in need in a timely manner.We prefer to be open to the public too for this reason, which does open us up to chancers too.
I'm not in the uk (I'm aware this is a uk centred site) so I don't know how things work where you are.

OP posts:

Ktown · 13/08/2017 10:27

I don't think this is brazen. Some people just aren't very bright and weren't brought up well enough to have the tools to navigate a kitchen, let alone life.
This women needs educating: that is your role if she is asking for help.

NormaSmuff · 13/08/2017 10:27

can you point them in the way of free cookery classes? is there such a thing? I know my local sure start did that kind of thing.

ToEarlyForDecorations · 13/08/2017 10:32

My brother in law works in a church based food bank as a volunteer. He may well have a tale or two.

Yeah, get used to it. I wonder what will be your next bench mark of cheekiness. It will come.

I used to work in Social Services admin. We had a small food bank run by social workers and it seemed to me that people who knew how to work the benefits system knew how to work the food bank too.

Original poster

KraftSock · 13/08/2017 10:33

Not that I'm aware of unfortunately, we do run something, albeit not a cooking class, 1 morning a week we run a budgeting session and have standardised meals for examples, we have several different recipes for different dietary needs and all are under a certain amount to make them affordable, we don't yet have the facilities to run a proper class though as among the things we would need equipment wise we'd have to register locally and have someone in with appropriate qualifications to oversee it all and we just don't have the funds for that unfortunately.
I did mention this to the person that came in but that wasn't of interest to them.

OP posts:

NormaSmuff · 13/08/2017 10:34

you will probably meet lots of triers in this line

grecian100 · 13/08/2017 10:37

Get used to it OP. I have volunteered in community based charity initiatives and the utter gall of people was astounding. A woman came in a terrible state once claiming to be in a terrible situation and needed money urgently. It turned out that her GHD's had broken and she needed new ones that day as she couldn't live without them. She was deadly serious too. Quite a few "needing" money for cigarettes as well. For some it was a brass neck, others weren't that bright, felt there was money to be given away so had a 'if you don't ask you don't get' attitude. Others genuinely felt that Sky Sports subscription was a matter of life or death

NotMyPenguin · 13/08/2017 10:38

Here in the UK most food banks operate via a referral system from third-party agencies (this could be social services or job centres but could equally be churches or schools). Also, I believe that most limit the help given so that it is short-term emergency assistance rather than anything that people will grow to rely on in the long-term -- e.g. vouchers for 3-4 days of food are given only 3 times in a year, or twice in a six-month period.

Maybe these people misinterpreted the aims of your organisation. Is there anything you can do to make these clearer in your signposting, logo, language you use etc?

Gorgosparta · 13/08/2017 10:41

This women needs educating: that is your role if she is asking for help.

No its not the Ops job at all.

Original poster

KraftSock · 13/08/2017 10:43

I think it is pretty clear who we aim to help (those in severe to moderate financial difficulty).
I know there are other organisations (not locally, not even within a few hours drive) that aim to reduce waste by giving away or selling very very cheap short dated/out of date foods. We're very clearly not one of them. I really don't think it's a case of misinterpretation.

OP posts:

VladmirsPoutine · 13/08/2017 11:53

This is par for the course unfortunately OP.

I once worked at a similar sort of service and was often left a bit when I couldn't discern what the matter was other than someone wanted a bit of a freebie or lacked the insight to understand what we could do. At first I thought I must have been missing something but no, I wasn't, some people genuinely think they should be entitled to everything going.

On another note thank you for setting up such a project.

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