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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to live in a flat in a naice town?

20 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 12/08/2017 20:00

We are living in an area where we are unlikely to be able to afford to buy or even rent anywhere bigger than a two bed flat. Dp and I love the area but I am beginning to wonder if we are being selfish to stay here. It is near to good schools and lovely outside spaces. We have one child, but I hope to have more in the future. They would have to share a bedroom and we don't have any garden space. We are far away from family and there's not much for teenagers to do around here. Are we right to prioritise our love for our town over a decent sized house and garden?

OP posts:

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/08/2017 20:07

I live in a supposedly not naice suburban area in a big house with drive and gardens etc, sometimes I miss living somewhere with cool stuff to do etc but I couldn't handle me, dh and two dc being squashed in a small flat. Every one is different though, you might manage fine. I like hoarding crap

Original poster

ArriettyMatilda · 12/08/2017 21:09

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve I like hoarding too. How old are your dc? I do worry about how we will cope but I do hope in by the time my dc are teenagers that we might be able to afford somewhere bigger in town or even slightly out of town when school catchment area isn't such a worry. I'm just not sure if we should totally uproot ourselves now and find somewhere cheaper to live long term.

OP posts:

WyfOfBathe · 12/08/2017 21:14

YANBU, but I wouldn't rule out moving in the future, when DC are teenagers or older children for example.

Would it be possible to move somewhere bigger in a different area of your town? We live in one of the cheaper areas of our fairly expensive town, because it was the only way we could afford somewhere with 3 bedrooms which we felt was important due to age gap between our DC.

EssentialHummus · 12/08/2017 21:17

There's no right answer here. We've just bought (as our family home) a large first floor flat in catchment for super schools etc, at the expense of a freehold house, no communal nonsense and direct garden access. It's larger than any house we could afford. I'm still in two minds about whether it was the right thing to do. But the idea that family home = house is an outdated one, IMO.

Original poster

ArriettyMatilda · 12/08/2017 21:18

WyfOfBathe not in our town even most two bed flats are over our budget. It is possible that may change as I'm not working at the moment but plan to when dc are older.

OP posts:

MaryTheCanary · 12/08/2017 21:28

Hmmm. Is your concern about a) space b) flats as opposed to houses c) renting rather than buying property? We live in a flat and love it, but we bought a condo.

Would you be able to get onto the property ladder if you looked at less central neighborhoods in the same area?

KanielOutis · 12/08/2017 21:35

I'm raising 2 children in a town centre flat and it's great. The eldest is reaching the age of independence soon and we won't need to give lifts, everything is on our doorstep, the train to London is a 5 minute walk it's wonderful. I can't afford a house in the centre and don't want to live an isolated life further out for the sake of my own front door and a bit of garden.

Original poster

ArriettyMatilda · 12/08/2017 21:39

EssentialHummus I'm glad I'm a way that we are not the only ones.

MaryTheCanary it's mainly about not having space but mostly outside space, like a garden or space to store a bike. I'm sure we can find ways of being creative with storage inside. I don't like renting but also a renting a three bed would be prohibitively expensive here. If we looked less centrally we'd have enough to drive into our small town and we'd be out of the catchment area for the better schools.

OP posts:

early30smum · 12/08/2017 21:41

We went for a 2 bedroom flat in a very nice area with great schools etc. Fast forward 8 years and we have 2 DC and are desperate for a bigger place. I love our area but I'd advise anyone who is planning to have 2 DC to try if at all possible to get a 3 bedroom house or flat. Moving is also very expensive. There's no right or wrong answer I don't think!

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/08/2017 21:54

My kids are 8 and 14 we definitely appreciate the space and can go into town when needed.

ferriswheel · 12/08/2017 23:00

I think one day soon you'll just randomly change your mine -like Miranda from Sex and the City-

ferriswheel · 12/08/2017 23:00

Mind not mine

Gooseysgirl · 12/08/2017 23:13

We were in a similar position but as soon as DC2 arrived it was a no brainer for us... we had to have more space! So we left our rental in a lovely East London suburb and bought a house 10 mins drive away. It was without doubt the right move for us, love having a garden and the kids each have their own bedroom (3 bed semi-d). Area not as nice as where we were and transport links not as good but we have lovely neighbours and a huge park nearby, and an up and coming high street.

Pizzaexpressreview · 12/08/2017 23:15

We tried but hated not having outdoor space or space for bikes or grass for small people to play on or sand and water play etc.

BackforGood · 12/08/2017 23:25

Of course YANBU to choose to live where you enjoy living, now, but, as others have said, it may well be that further down the line, your priorities change. No point in moving now though in case your priorities might change in the future.

Things that mattered to me (in property) 30 years ago are different from what I was looking at 20 years ago and different from what I was after 15 years ago and will be different from what I'd like in my next home. I wasn't ready for what I want now, when I had only one (small) child, but now they are teens and adults I want something different from my home.

Original poster

ArriettyMatilda · 13/08/2017 08:36

I definitely do want more rooms and garden but that would mean moving out of the area, which would mean changing jobs, nursery/school, making new friends and going to new groups (toddler groups and my exercise class). How can I ever be ready to give a that up?

OP posts:

Pizzaexpressreview · 13/08/2017 08:43

We moved out of London as we could just not make the finances work.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 13/08/2017 08:47

You say you aren't working at the moment. Then I think you'll be fine - when you need a bigger place, when the dc are older, you'll have more money, as you will be working.

StepAwayFromCake · 13/08/2017 08:52

We sold our flat to move away from our area in order to be able to afford a house and garden in a naice but dull area. We felt it was better for raising our dc, and they'd have a bedroom each.

We sold it to a couple who felt a flat in a nice area of a busy city, with good access to lots of facilities, was the perfect place to raise a family, and obviously their dc would share a room.

Different strokes for different folks

DontCallMeCharlotte · 13/08/2017 09:03

Couple of thoughts, we live in a 3 bed house which we bought when we were first married with children in mind. No children but it does mean I do have a dedicated ironing room! Secondly I am one of five and we grew up in a 3 bed house with a negligible garden and it was never an issue. So with the benefit of hindsight I would buy the 2 bed and play it by ear for the future. You might have to curb your hoarding tendencies though!

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