Sorry if my question sounds nonsense since I am already pregnant and there's nothing I intend to do to stop it! I'm currently 5 weeks and 4 days, my estimated due date is 4/10/2018. I'm 38 years old.
The thing is: I work at a courthouse as a judge assistant. Including me there are 10 assistants. In terms of hierarchy, I am number 4.
The number 1 assistant, who I'll call Ann, is pregnant too, her EDD is 11/5/2017, but she is likely having the baby before that (one week or so).
A couple weeks after Ann announced her pregnancy, assistant number 3 told us she was pregnant too. I'll call her Lisa. Her EDD is 12/22/2017.
In our country, maternity leave lasts 6 months after labor. This means Ann will be out between the end of October and the end of April, and Lisa between the end of December and the end of June.
I am Lisa direct substitute, and I do some of Ann's job when she's out as well. I am supposed to take charge of a great amount of their tasks when they leave... except that... in April, there'll be an intersection between our maternity leaves.
This is not what worries me the most, since it's not a great amount of time: what really terrifies me is the idea that I may need bed rest at some point, or that I may have a preterm labor. Nothing indicates that right now, but there's always a possibility.
I feel guilty because I feel like I'm being selfish and letting my team down... I'm planning to tell the judge and Ann about my pregnancy in 10 days, when I'll be 7 weeks (and will have done the first ultrasound), and I'm really worried about their reaction.
At the same time, I feel it wouldn't be fair of them to expect me to wait until Ann and Lisa have their babies to get pregnant. I did a small timeline of my pregnancy issues below to try to explain my situation. Besides (and in spite of) those issues, I did so many personal sacrifices for my job over the last 2 years. I'm really torned.
What do you think? AIBU? Should I have waited? Sorry for the long post.
October 2015: Me and DH start TTC.
December 2015: I find out I'm pregnant but have a miscarriage at 5 weeks .
January 2016: Me and DH decide to postpone TTC until April, because we live in a tropical country and were justifiable afraid of Zika Virus and microcephaly (there were a few cases were we live)
May 2016: was supposed to get back to TTC but had to postpone it again because of a oral herpes outbreak... on my stomach. Never had that before, according to doctor it was probably related to work stress.
July 2016: finally get back to TTC.
October 2016: got pregnant again, but it was a chemical. It's important to remark that the previous 3 weeks before I started bleeding were the most stressful ones I've ever had in terms of work, since Ann had a missed miscarriage and had to do D&C, and besides being really worried about her, I had to do all the tasks alone at a particularly difficult time.
December 2016: Thinking my cycle would go crazy like after my first miscarriage, I didn't care much for birth control, and to my surprise, I got pregnant again. This time though, my OBGYN prescribed aspirin, and it seemed to work well: for the first time, I had normal HCG numbers!
The aspirin alone wasn't enough though, and when I was 6 weeks I miscarried again.
January 2017: had an appointment with a specialist in recurrent miscarriages and me and my husband did a ton of exams. Since I miscarried in December, I had to wait until February to do some of them.
March 2017: lab results finally available: everything seemed alright with me and husband, therefore my 3 miscarriages remained inexplicable.
However, since aspirin seemed to help, the specialist prescribed more of it and told me to start taking Clexane shots as soon as I knew I was pregnant again. She told me to wait one more cycle (she wanted me to take aspirin for a fair amount of time before getting pregnant again).
Also: I was encharged of the most problematic and stressful job of my work for the next 3 months.
April of 2017: get back to TTC, albeit worried about stressful work.
June 2017; awful work finishes (with great results). Probably had another chemical (HCG was 4 three days before I was due).
July 2017: after so much work, and stress, finally take some days of vacation. The result: got pregnant again, this time things seem to be progressing well!
I'd like to add that both Ann and Lisa know about my history, and supposably know that I've been TTC. Yet, Ann keeps saying things like: "I'll teach you that because you're gonna be here in the next 10 months", which I find a little insensitive.
I really don't know what to do, I won't lose my job for sure but I may have to work at another place, for another judge, and my reputation may be damaged.