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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Awful colleague

20 replies

megaminding · 12/08/2017 15:21

There's someone who works in our office who is rank.

Poor personal hygiene (smells a bit BOy often)
Farts all the time, they stink. Know it's colleague because when they're off there's no bad smells
Leans over you breathing their coffee breath on you
Worst of all
Picks their nose all the time. I've been told they eat it too but luckily I've not seen it

Person is early 30s, educated, married (no idea how spouse puts up with them). How do people get like this? I taught my DC not to pick their nose as toddlers.

OP posts:

TennisAtXmas · 12/08/2017 15:24

I've been told they eat it too but luckily I've not seen it

Sounds a rather unpleasant vibe if you're all criticising each other behind peoples backs - he'll maybe find somewhere nicer to work soon.

Original poster

megaminding · 12/08/2017 15:27

Would u be happy working with someone picking their nose and eating bogies? It's rank. I mentioned to a workmate who sits near this person I'd seen them picking their nose and would have to say something. She said it was worse than just picking. We weren't gossiping both revolted by it.

OP posts:

DaviesMum · 12/08/2017 15:27

Sounds a rather unpleasant vibe if you're all criticising each other behind peoples backs

Please, like you'd never bitch about someone. If OP's colleague is genuinely like that, it's totally rank and well justified criticism.

SparkyTheCat · 12/08/2017 15:32

Yes and no. Coffee breath and nose picking are easily avoidable. However as an IBS sufferer I have more sympathy with your colleague on the fart front (as it were) as that cannot always be helped. Re BO, perhaps there might also be a reason they can't help, eg deodorant triggers eczema ( it does for me, and is really hard to find suitable products)? Just a thought.

Original poster

megaminding · 12/08/2017 15:38

I don't think they have ibs or eczema. They're the sort of person to mention any issues like that, especially as there are others in office who suffer from both.

I think the BO is not washing clothes properly, it's that kind of old BO smell.

Their manner is a bit ugh generally. Talk at you rather than to you, acting superior that kind of thing.

OP posts:

LockedOutOfMN · 12/08/2017 15:54

Can you mention it to HR and they can have a word with the person? The coffee breath and nose-picking could be stopped, as could the BO, to some extent. Perhaps you could invest in some Glade type things on your desk so that the farts don't bother you.

Original poster

megaminding · 12/08/2017 15:57

I mentioned it to my manager (awful colleague is managed by someone else) but my manager said though it was horrible they weren't sure what could be done.

I can't believe an adult has to be told not to pick their nose, and to suck a mint/ use deodorant.

OP posts:

BenLui · 12/08/2017 16:05

Your manager is wimping out. It's a difficult conversation to have certainly but it's well within their remit.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 12/08/2017 16:05

YANBU. Sounds gross. I once worked with someone who picked their nose and stuck it to the underneath of the chair. When they left and someone knew took the chair it was A big wedge of dried in bogies like some sort of extra lever on the chair . Yuk!! Who does sh*t like that?

Grilledaubergines · 12/08/2017 16:06

Sounds grim. You may have to be a brutally obvious and say something to her/him or in their company and the office smelling fuggy.

TidyDancer · 12/08/2017 16:12

I work with someone a bit like this. He spends his days burping, farting and periodically snoring at his desk. His clothes are rarely clean, sometimes with stains you can explain (such as food or blood) sometimes mystery ones that you don't even want to speculate on (yes, boak). The BO/unwashed clothes smell isn't, remarkably, too bad unless you get that close to him but he also has tantrums regularly based on him not well hidden misogynism.

His manager has not dealt effectively with him which is why it's been allowed to continue.

MrsEzekiel · 12/08/2017 16:18

Sounds a rather unpleasant vibe if you're all criticising each other behind peoples backs - he'll maybe find somewhere nicer to work soon.

Are you the colleague or just your workplace's equivalent?

If someone's being that disgusting then of course people are going to talk about it.

0124oconn · 12/08/2017 16:30

I used to pick my nose at work several years ago. I was under intolerable stress from my colleagues who used to make my life an absolute misery. I managed to get moved to an office of my own. I did consider farting as a way to get them out of my personal space.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2017 16:33

Sounds a rather unpleasant vibe if you're all criticising each other behind peoples backs - he'll maybe find somewhere nicer to work soon.

Why have you assumed the colleague is male?

roundaboutthetown · 12/08/2017 16:34

Picking your nose in public is gross. However, if you are going to do that, I would much rather you ate it than flicked it... why this weird idea that it is more antisocial to eat it than to inflict the contents of your nose on the floor, computer keyboard, colleagues' desks, etc??!!

Emmageddon · 12/08/2017 16:46

If I had a colleague who picked their nose, I'd say very loudly to stop being so gross. Same with their other unpleasant traits, tell them their breath smells, ask them to stop farting in the office, and have a bloody wash because they smell bad.

Actually I would do none of the above because I am a non-confrontational coward, I'd ask HR to have a word.

slartibartfastsfjords · 12/08/2017 16:47

*Are you the colleague or just your workplace's equivalent?

If someone's being that disgusting then of course people are going to talk about it.*

Or...they could consult an appropriate manager discretely, to discuss a plane to resolve it..you know, being professional, like grown ups? Happily I work somewhere where people do that rather than talking about it amongst themselves...

The accusation that I must be someone who smells bad, because I dared to question whether it was appropriate to talk about the colleague behind their back, illustrates my point too.

MrsEzekiel · 12/08/2017 19:12

Here's an idea: get a fucking tissue.

The accusation that I must be someone who smells bad, because I dared to question whether it was appropriate to talk about the colleague behind their back, illustrates my point too.

Your defensiveness pointed to being a nose picker rather than someone who smells bad. I'm sorry but if someone has a list of vile habits as long as their arm, and they are grossing out lots of other people, I don't see why it's wrong to discuss it. Obviously tell a manager too so something can be done but if someone's smell is so bad that it bothers others then I can see why it's a point of discussion and tbh it's just rude to be so disgusting in the workplace.

TennisAtXmas · 12/08/2017 19:34

Your defensiveness pointed to being a nose picker rather than someone who smells bad
Seriously? You're still feeling you can pick on anyone who disagrees and accuse them, like a nasty little girl, in infants school - and that you can even work out exactly which antisocial habits they must have!
Remarkable

MrsEzekiel · 12/08/2017 21:17

Overly defensive remarks have connotations, in the same way as you've assumed I'm a nasty little girl for thinking as such.

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