is this normal

[lavendergonetoblu]

To feel this down . I don't know if its depression that's creeping up on me ? but I just feel so frustrated all the time like everyone's life is moving on & i am watching friends have the second baby's ,family days out , hair done celebrate occasions ,just little things & here i am struggling ! i never get a break i'm a lone parent just turned 23, never go out . since my daughter has been born not had even 1 minute to myself I went out once alone to the dentist for an hour and that's it - I love my child more than anything i really do i love her so much I can't put into words how much I love her , but i have so much guilt that she is not having a good life because it's just me and her and she has no siblings to play with or father around i worry every other minute -we do do loads we go out somewhere everyday of her life & i am trying so hard to give her a fantastic life but I feel like i just need an hour or so to myself to clean the house even just once a week !! plus all the finacial responsibility.. everything is on me ,I feel like it's crushing me and there is no way out & never will be & i honestly feel like screaming

Can you afford a babysitter once in a while?

Do you go to any groups where you can talk to the other mums?

It does sound normal to feel like this.

Notevil yes I go to weekly toddler group & soft play multiple times and we do farm and libary and sea life and other things alike - my dd has quite a full diary & I do talk to mums we are busy together ,its just i do not ever have time to do anything like clean the house , even brushing my hair is hard because she wants my attention all of the time - and the house is a pit I can't cook because she's under my feet trying to stick hands in the oven ,we have an open plan kitchen so quite damgerous . I can't even do it when she's sleeping cause she often won't go down till very late 11/12pm and im exhausted from being out all day then entertaining, bathing , making dinner for her so I fall asleep soon as she does &she wakes early so no time in the morning :(

Ps I have considered sending her to nursery few hours per week but it feels so wrong when I don't actually have a reason to do so
... like a job . I think it would be good for her in some ways for sociability but I would feel so guilty plus it would also take up a huge portion of our budget .

She's 18 months old btw .

You are demanding too much from yourself. Buy a playpen where she can be safe and leave her for a few minutes at a time. She might complain at first, but she'll be OK, especially if she can see you just tidying up or cooking, etc. I would also start stabilising an earlier need time routine. If you start waking her up at 7 every day, in a week or two she'll be used to that and consequently she'll go to bed earlier. You need to make changes before you totally exhaust yourself

That should say "bed time routine"

I don't think it would be wrong for you to send her to nursery or a childminder for a few hours a week. Being a full time mother with no help is hardwork and (people may disagree with this) a job in itself.
When my youngest was small I was on my own with her and her older disabled sibling with no help as family lived 300 miles away. When my older child went into school I booked younger in with a child minder just to get a well needed break. It also helped with the youngests attachment issues too. Please look into it you really sound as though you are doing a great job but need a few hours to yourself. It's not selfish it's looking after yourself as well as your child.

It is so hard. A few things you can do that might make life easier - try really hard to crack her bedtime so that you are at least getting evenings to yourself, and at 18 months you really can start saying 'just a minute' to her whilst you brush your hair or clean your teeth. It won't hurt her and in the long run she will need to start learning she isn't the centre of the universe so best to start gently.

I was still at uni at 23! People live their lives at different paces. Be kind to yourself.

Also I don't know about benefits but could you work a few hours a week and they not be affected? Give you some adult time and she could be in nursery?