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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be uneasy about DS starting nursery in Sept?

38 replies

Lalalax3 · 11/08/2017 21:33

DS will be 3 on 31/08, he has a place at the local school nursery for 3 hours a day,5 days a week. I am a SAHM so was initially delighted about getting a little time to myself but now I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. He will be the youngest child there, some of the kids will be nearly a year older than him, and is used to being with me all the time.

He has some speech and language delay, and I think nursery could be really good for him in this respect, and to get him viewing other kids as playmates instead of obstacles that obstruct his play objectives! But I do worry about the first few months, he may struggle to communicate his needs to nursery assistants successfully and become upset or anxious. He may be completely out of his depth. Or he might not.

Is it better to send him (and pull him out if he's not coping) or not send him until I think he'll cope better?

OP posts:

Threenme · 11/08/2017 22:05

Please don't worry about nappies or poo! It's all been seen 100s of times... and worse! Good luck op!

Original poster

Lalalax3 · 11/08/2017 22:05

I don't think he really comprehends it all. I talk to him about it a lot but he's not engaged with it. It's round the corner from our house so I point it out a lot 'Oh there's your nursery...' 'When you go to nursery...' but get nothing in response.

OP posts:

Threenme · 11/08/2017 22:06

Have you visited?

Original poster

Lalalax3 · 11/08/2017 22:07

Yes Threenme - he loved it! But he slightly destroyed the place! 😬

OP posts:

Original poster

Lalalax3 · 11/08/2017 22:08

He doesn't really have the language skills to discuss it with me, so I just talk at him about it and hope some of it sinks in.

OP posts:

Threenme · 11/08/2017 22:17

Im confident in promising you, having never met him, that he will be fine!!! I wish parents could be a fly on the wall to see just how well kids cope after they leave, even the ones who've cried are 9/10 fine in minutes!!! Please don't worry about him destroying the place!!! I'd be so surprised if his teachers weren't expecting that!!!

OlennasWimple · 11/08/2017 22:21

You won't know if he will thrive there unless you give it a go, especially as he responded so well to the visit. I'm sure he will be fine

circumcisiondecision · 11/08/2017 22:23

In my experience of my two local school nurseries, they:
a) expect children to be out of nappies
b) expect regular five mornings a week attendance
Of course this might not be the case for yours, but don't just assume both will be ok.
However, the teacher / nursery workers will be used to the gap in attainment between the oldest and the youngest in the yeargroup.
My younger DC is a July baby and seemed so young.... I didn't send him to the school nursery, even though his older siblings were at the school and he would follow on into Reception the next year. I just felt he was too young for five days a week (or was it me, not ready to give my baby up?!). It was a tough decision as it's a small school and there might have been social advantages for him to get in with longtime classmates early on. However, I have no regrets - they are tiny for such a short time. He went to a local nursery for three mornings a week (which I think is very good for them, to encourage independence) but I didn't want to make a five day a week commitment and have our precious last year together constrained by daily nursery hours.

elliejjtiny · 11/08/2017 22:29

My youngest 2 have speech delays. Their preschool use photographs of different objects to help them communicate with the staff and it worked really well. Try not to worry.

Catanddogmake6 · 11/08/2017 22:29

OP if it makes you feel better, children with language delay are often slow to potty train. I know from DD and chats with her SALT.

rachrach2 · 11/08/2017 22:30

My daughter started at pre school at exactly 2.5 (when they allowed them to start). She had previously been in nursery but not for a year as I'd been on maternity leave again. It has been amazing for her. I started with just one afternoon and then built it up so when I went back to work she was fine there.

Her key worker said some of the older girls took her under their wing and mothered her a bit, they liked the 'little' ones. Her speech was not good when she started but came along quickly.

Good luck!

allgoodthings84 · 11/08/2017 23:03

My daughter starts in September and she was only 2 right at the end of May. I don't want her to go as she doesn't have to yet but she's so clingy that I don't want her to have to go straight into full time childcare when I go back to work, I want to slowly ease her in so she's just doing 2 mornings a week (6 hours). My daughter will be the youngest there by nearly a year so I'm just going to see how it goes. It will be hard at first for both of us but I'm hoping she will be ok after a bit of time.

StripyHorse · 11/08/2017 23:31

DD1 is an end of August baby. I didn't feel ready to send her to school nursery, for this reason (plus logistics due to being on mat leave) I decided to keep her in her day care nursery 2 days per week. I then worried that she wouldn't settle in reception as well due to the other children already knowing each other - I needn't have, she was fine.

With DD2 (July baby) I felt ok sending her to school nursery because I was familiar with the school. She loved it.

Since then I have worked in nurseries and know how amazing most of the staff are, don't worry about communication issues - staff are used to it and children see past it.

If you decide to send him I am sure he will be fine. I know DD1 would have been fine in school nursery- it was me who wasn't ready to take that step. If you don't send him it is also perfectly understandable - are there any play groups you can take him to to help him get used to following instructions from other adults/ playing and sharing with lots of other children.

Also don't worry if he seems reluctant to go in, I've seen this from both sides (DDs and when I have been working in nursery) - the adults will comfort your child when needed, and within 5 minutes they are usually grinning away all tears forgotten.

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