Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend sending FR to DP

46 replies

mummyrabbitpeppapig · 11/08/2017 19:57

My friend ( whom.i used to work with ) met my DP a couple of times and then sent him a FR on FB ( she's single and he's not added her btw ). Am.i overthinking this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
MrsJamesAspey · 11/08/2017 21:35

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive. Facebook is a breeding ground for affairs. People no longer need to get someone's number they can just find them on fb add them and then start pming them.

I know of 3 affairs between parents from school right now which were enabled by fb.

Nicknacky · 11/08/2017 21:42

MrsJames Sending a person a friend request isn't a precursor to an affair, for goodness sake. If you are on FB and you get a request from a male, do you immediately think he wants to have an affair?

MrsJamesAspey · 11/08/2017 22:22

No I don't nicknacky** but several men who have friend requested me, and I've accepted, because I have met them once or twice obviously do 🙄

NarcsBegone · 11/08/2017 22:29

IMO having a bash at pink like that was really uncalled for! You have over thought it. Are you going to lay in to everyone that comments after your update? Are there any other single women on your Dp's friends list or is it just this particular single woman that you have issue with? Should I asa single woman stay away from being friends from anyone that is attached at all just in case Hmm

NarcsBegone · 11/08/2017 22:30

Oh and yes YABVU

WhooooAmI24601 · 11/08/2017 22:34

Facebook is a breeding ground for affairs

Perhaps for people who cheat. But then, people who cheat would cheat with or without Facebook. For people with a moral code it's simply a place to stay in touch. Here in 2017 it's entirely possible to remain in contact with people via social media without needing to cheat on your Husband/Wife/Partner.

PollyFlint · 11/08/2017 22:35

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive. Facebook is a breeding ground for affairs. People no longer need to get someone's number they can just find them on fb add them and then start pming them.

I know of 3 affairs between parents from school right now which were enabled by fb.

Yeah because random parents from school really go around announcing their affairs to all the other parents, right? Hmm

I don't know anyone at all who has ever had a friend's husband try to start an affair with them on Facebook. Not one person. Bit weird that you mysteriously seem to know so many and are constantly plagued by men who can't resist you.

AmberLeavesGreenLeaves · 11/08/2017 22:41

Is there something else about her behaviour towards him that has worried you? Or are you a bit insecure in your relationship? Because this feels like a bit over an overreaction.

Trills · 11/08/2017 22:41

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive.

Or maybe we just have better friends and partners than you.

charliethebear · 11/08/2017 22:43

I don't understand why this would ever be a problem? Is it not normal? I have most of my friends partners on fb (the ones I've spent time with) because I would probably count them as friends too? I think id be pretty pissed off if my dp acted like I might have an affair because I was friends with a single man on fb.
If there had been flirting etc. Then you might be worried but that's still irrelevant to being friends on fb.

Motoko · 11/08/2017 23:20

I wouldn't worry about it. I've got a friend who has tons of FB friends, including my two exes, and my brother, all of whom she didn't even like! She's just one of those people who collects FB friends.

MrsJamesAspey · 12/08/2017 00:19

Yeah because random parents from school really go around announcing their affairs to all the other parents, right?
Probably not, but if you socialise with the Mums on a regular basis, especially the single ones then secret affairs are rarely still secret after 2 bottles of wine.

I* don't* know anyone at all who has ever had a friend's husband try to start an affair with them on Facebook. Not one person. Bit weird that you mysteriously seem to know so many and are constantly plagued by men who can't resist you.

So because youve never experienced it, it doesn't happen? Maybe you do know people who have but they've just never confided in you? I mentioned to a friend that I'd had a few messages from one of the dads from school and she said she had too, 3 months previously and he'd been messaging someone else too. And no I haven't been plagued by men who can't resist me, but it does seem to be that if you're a long term single parent, some men feel they need to offer their services to you Confused

CorbynsBumFlannel · 12/08/2017 00:24

I think it is weird when people add others on Facebook that they've met briefly once or twice tbh. Just because I've met someone a couple of times why would I want to know what they've had for dinner or that it's their dads 59th birthday?

notevernotnevernotnohow · 12/08/2017 00:27

FR to DP on FB? Are letters at a premium?

What do you think is the actual problem with it?

MrsJamesAspey · 12/08/2017 00:32

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive.
*
Or maybe we just have better friends and partners than you.*

My friends and their partners are fine, I'd tell them if they weren't, I've blocked the men who've messaged me and I'm not good friends with their partners. And the women that do this might be part of my social group but they're not people who I invite round for a coffee.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 12/08/2017 00:46

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive

No. Just not either insecure or have anything to worry about.

SpareASquare · 12/08/2017 00:55

I think people who see absolutely nothing wrong with this incredibly naive. Facebook is a breeding ground for affairs

I think you need better friends Grin

Yep, totally overthinking OP.

ExplodedCloud · 12/08/2017 01:09

Totally depends on how you view him and her.

thisonehasalittlecar · 12/08/2017 01:14

95% chance it's okay; I'd keep an eye on things just in case.

YellowPaisley · 12/08/2017 02:19

YABU I am Facebook friends with most of my friends partners. Not because I'm trying to have an affair. My friends are friends with my ex partners. (Currently singe) doesn't mean we are all trying to shag each other. There has to be more to this, you have either seen something you don't trust in him or her!

CoughLaughFart · 12/08/2017 09:50

I'm friends with several friends' partners. I don't want to seduce any of them. Surely adults can be friends with both halves of a couple?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page