Family holiday (self catering, uk) been planned for a long time to celebrate a significant event. My parents, me & DH & our kids, DB. His GF was on the scene when booked but not sure how serious at that point. They broke up, instigated by DB, a few months ago then got back together as 'she promised she would change'. DB had a heart to heart with me recently that he's miserable and wants to break up with her, but she has health problems and now is not a good time. She is staying at his (supposed to be temporarily) and off work sick and has no money and no other friends locally to stay with. Her family are a couple of hours away. They aren't really getting on but he doesn't feel he can ask her to leave when she's on a low with her health. Fair enough, his life, his choice. But part of the reason he wants to break up is because of her health problems which put a massive strain on him. She is not very good at managing her condition and he is constantly worried and chasing around after her. She's a grown up FFS. I don't think she is intentionally taking advantage or anything just that she relies on him too much and it's not fair on him. He is the loveliest, most caring person but he just seems to have got himself trapped just staying with her because he feels sorry for her and responsible for her. My family are all worried about how stressed he is with the situation. He bottles it up so I don't know if she realises how he feels.
He said he hadn't told her about this holiday as was hoping she would be up to breaking up by then. It's in two weeks and now she's had a serious family emergency. Obviously feel for her but also worried for DB this has put even more pressure him. Speaking to him on Skype today and she walks in "oh looking forward to this holiday, DB just told me about it". DB "yeah I'm going to have to be flexible now and take GF to her family mid week". Arrrgh! Am I being harsh that I don't want her to come? I don't dislike her and if he loved her I would support them both and make her welcome, but we all know how he feels. I don't think it's fair to spoil our much looked forward to special family holiday with awkwardness because of this and also him now missing half of it. We don't all get together very often and my DF isn't in the best health.
There is never going to be a good time to end it! WWYD? Can I do anything to intervene without stress him out further or him hating me?