AIBU to expect parents to parent toddlers in a busy coffee shop.

[EllieHJ]

I know this has been said before but I'm in shock. I have three kids so know what it's like although I never let my kids run riot! I've never seen anything like this. Two mums, 4 under 3s and a baby. Running around the whole place, pulling books down from a small bookcase area. I moved to other side and just watched thinking they would do something. Nothing! Just having a nice chat. Then stood up, left all their rubbish on floor and table and all the books on the floor. Unbelievable. I couldn't even get a Paddington bear stare in at them as they were just oblivious to everyone!

Some parents are just entitled tits.
I wouldn't let mine run riot like that but I do always tidy up any mess they make.

It annoys me when a parents lets their little darling throw food all over the floor and just leaves it.

It was probably Neutrogena with her kids.

I know! I'm still here as waiting for my youngest while at a Gambado party and two other sets of parents and toddlers have been in and no problem. They've just looked after their kids - it's not that hard. 😀

I seethe when I see this sort of thing.
If a poor waiter/ess was to spill a hot drink. They'd be dragged over the coals. Can you imagine the parents.
Fuck this. Fuck that

It's stupid, useless parents like this who ruin things for everyone. YANBU.

It's pathetic, entitied behaviour and it stinks.

Nicolas God bless you for that.

YANBU. There is nothing wrong with teaching them young that some places are not for running around.

It's dangerous - not just the child themselves who could get burned by a spilled drink but others too if they trip over a child. Why is that ok?

High chairs/buggies for really little ones or just sitting on a chair. If they can't do it then keep the visit short or get the stuff in takeaway cups and go to the park. It's just one of those things that is difficult to do with toddlers but it's not forever.

Nicolas

It was probably Neutrogena with her kids.

Nicolas - you're probably going to get deleted for that (as will I)

I'll prep myself for a telling off

YANBU - when I was a waitress, children running round was my worst nightmare purely because it is so, so dangerous when you are carrying hot food/drinks/glasses or whatever.

I once ended up with quite a nasty burn to my stomach area trying to avoid a child running round causing me to spill soup in myself!

There is a brand new Costa drive through by us, it's in a retail park so a fairly biggish glass and steel building. For reasons best known to themselves, they put in a massive kids play area over half the seating area, with matted floor, toys, books, beanbags etc and it was open for around 5-6 weeks when I went in (under protest) with my DDs. I have never seen such mess and filth in my life - food smashed all over the floor and toys, drinks spilled, todders running round screaming and shouting, and mums sat completely ignoring their little dahlings. We took one look, and walked straight back out.

Its not always easy to keep them still, but its a coffee shop not a playground. I have spent many an occasion holding a crabby toddler on my lap who has turned into a squirming monster as he really wants to be running around.
I never let him in a coffee shop. He's 3 now and mostly understands he's not supposed to. It does annoy me that some parents don't even try.

Exactly. You do your best and if it isn't working you leave and go for a walk or something. I always avoided coffee shops when mine were at that stage. It's not that long!

When mine were that age, and I wanted to drink coffee with a friend, we'd have it at one of our homes or go to the park and bring a flask / mini-picnic or one of us go and grab some takeaway drinks.

As the OP says, that stage doesn't last long, but it's unreasonable to expect toddlers to enjoy being a coffee shop for a long time while ignored by their parent. It's also unreasonable not to supervise the child properly and thereby leave behind mess and put the children and staff or other customers in danger.

I have irrational rage at unchecked toddlers and mess makers. Parent your child and tidy your mess! YANBU

It was probably Neutrogena with her kids.

I actually stopped going in my favourite local coffee for a few weeks a while back,because I was sick to death of one particular mother with 2 young kids,I suppose they must have been 3 and 4. Mother sat there either oblivious talking to her friend or staring at her phone,or smiling indulgently while they wreaked havoc. One of them would stand in the middle of the shop and just screech continually,for the hell of it. The mother seemed to find this highly amusing. I witnessed several near misses with people carrying trays of hot drinks when the kids ran in front of them. Or they were messing about under other customers' tables and being a nuisance. The last straw was when the older one managed to knock a pot plant over by climbing on it. The mum didn't say a word,not an apology or anything,just carried on chatting while a member of staff cleared up the mess. I really expected the manager would say something to her,but no,nothing was said. So no,YANBU OP. A coffee shop is not the place to let young children run wild. What gets me is that if there was an accident because the child got under someone's feet and ended up being scalded by a hot drink,the mother would be up in arms,as if it was no fault of her own.

I agree with not letting them run around, as it's a hazard.

But I think people are far too uptight about toddlers making noise/mess in coffee shops! What a shame to avoid them altogether. How will you teach toddlers to behave properly in coffee shops unless they practice?

I take my 2 year old to coffee shops several times a week, with other mums from our toddler group. We usually order lunch, and while waiting the toddlers chatter, look at books, watch things on a tablet, and if there's a play corner they potter around in there. DD knows if she tries to run around she gets strapped into the buggy. They do get a bit noisy but they're toddlers!

We clean up as much mess as possible with baby wipes and napkins.

Mums and young children bring a lot of business to coffee shops at lunch time.