Got the day off but already booked childcare

[IdiotSandwich]

This is kind of a WWYD and AIBU.
Booked next week off a while ago but couldn't get one of the days off.
Same thing for DP's work, they couldn't get that day off as someone else already had it off.
Boss rang me today to ask if I still wanted it off and I said yes without really thinking. I've already booked childcare and it's too late to change otherwise we'll still have to pay for it. DP also still can't get the day off.
Told DP and he said "Great now you can text childminder and tell her she's not needed any more... that'll be a saving of £XX"
I said "well no... it's too late so DS will still have to go to her or we'd end up still paying for the childcare anyway. I may as well use the child free time to get stuff done"
DP then seemed a bit off and hasn't spoken to me since except to say he's finishing up at work (meaning he'll be home soon).

I feel like he thinks I should just tell the childminder and not pay her when I don't think that's really fair. We're always struggling for money but we had budgeted for this anyway.
I also am a bit worried that I'll get the odd bit done but for most of it just be bored and want to do something with someone. I've asked my friends but most of them are working/away. I really don't like being alone to be honest.

He is BU. Childminders only have a limited number of spaces and it's highly unlikely they'd be able to fill one last minute.

Cancelling might mean they don't take future bookings from you - do you need to use them again?

Definitely let your child go to the CM and use that time to get stuff done if I was in your position I would.. Spend all morning having a deep clean (boring but necessary!) and spend the afternoon watching a film or something in peace!

This would be heaven for me but that's not helpful if you're not a fan of your own company. :o

How about you make a list of all the things you never seem to have time to do? On the day, put the radio on and it's like you have a companion. :)

Speak to your boss and say that now you've had time to think, that day off would be of no value to you because you've arranged childcare etc. It's easier to cancel a day's leave than mess the childminder around.

It's a bit sad that a grown woman can't enjoy her own company

Really long bath with a film on the laptop propped up on the loo?

I feel like he thinks I should just tell the childminder and not pay her when I don't think that's really fair

What either of you think fair is not the point. What your contract stipulates is what matters.

Christ I would kill for a whole childfree day off to myself! I am always either at work or looking after my son. You're mad! As PPs have said, have a bath, watch a film, go for a nice walk at a beauty spot, have a big spring clean, go window shopping - whatever takes your fancy really...

Enjoy a day off. I understand what you are saying regarding the money already spent for childcare, but it isn't your fault you can now have the day off (unless you can ask your boss to cancel that). For the past few years I have used all my holiday for childcare so a day for myself would be a treat. You could be practical and clean the house, cook some meals and freeze them ( bake a cake you could be very popular when everyone gets home etc and have some time freed up for the weekend for some quality time with the family or pamper your self. Soak in the bath, read a book, go for a walk, buy a magazine with lots of gossips and read it in a coffee shop. Indulge yourself for once. Is there any family (parents who don't work) close by? My DC are going away with their dad so I am going shopping (don't want to upset anyone by mentioning a date towards the end if the year (). I get very little time for this so like to take any free time.

Don't cancel the CM

if you don't want to be on your own can you just cancel the day off with work?

It's probably I'm your contract that you need to give her a few weeks notice anyway so you may as well use it. I occasionally have a day off while d's is at childminder. I am a single parent with no dh on the scene so these days are like golddust to me 😊

You can either,

Ask your manager if you can cancel the day off.
Treat yourself to a day to yourself and send your DD to the childminder.
Have a day at home/out and about with your DD, even though you'll be paying your CM, you DD doesn't need to go.

Your DP is being an arse if he's sulking because you appear to have a day to yourself.

Rookie mistake telling your DH. I do this a lot but mostly sit on my arse earing biscuits and watching crap shark films

Yes my first thought was no don't tell your dh

I'd take the day off. Do all of those things you can't do with kids under your feet. I had a very rare few child free hours on Monday morning this week and deep cleaned the cupboard under the stairs and the spare room. Both of which are really difficult with a 2 year old trying to get in the way so I've put off for months!

Enjoy your own time.

Sounds like bliss to me! I am a childminder and would expect you to pay if you have already booked.

If it were me having the day off I would tidy up the night before then spend the day in silence with a good book 👍🏻

Is it a whole week OP? If so then I can kind of see your DH's point (his behaviour is a bit shit though!!)

Why wouldn't you want the day off on your own? Sounds like bliss to me!

Oh right, sorry it is just the one day. In that case I think your DH is being a bit of a cunt actually. It's one day to yourself.... and you've already said you'll be getting stuff sorted, which of course means it won't actually be a day to yourself.

As a childminder I'd still charge you for the space as it's been booked. If you didn't pay I'd give notice. I have bills to pay too and there's a good chance if have turned away other work, theres Very little chance I could resell that space at such short notice too, though if I could I'd obviously refund you.

You did make a mistake telling your DH, you should have enjoyed a sneaky day off. I still remember the day my 3 littles had illnesses for 2 days and couldn't come. 3 whole days with no kids during school hours. Obviously awful for the kids but boy did I enjoy my sneaky days off!

When we used childcare, our annual leave was all carefully budgeted for. We certainly wouldn't have been able to justify the cost of paying for childcare just to get stuff done. I appreciate it's too late to cancel the childminder now, so I'd be cancelling the day off.

Don't piss off your childminder!!! If, for any reason, I have to cancel at short notice then I know I have to pay. In my mind I think of it as paying for the spaces, rather than my DCs (she is fantastic though and childcare is like gold dust round here!) and it's non negotiable- she's got bills to pay just like I do, and if I've booked 2 spaces then she can't take on any other kids. Might be worth explaining it to your DH that way? Sounds like he doesn't 'get' how it works?
As for the day to yourself - my god woman, take it!!! And enjoy the time to yourself

Is money tight? Maybe his issue is with wasted money rather than time off for yourself. FFS, neither my DH or myself begrudge each other a cheeky day off.

Definitely do something for yourself. Use some time for chores if needed but go for a swim or cycle ride, watch a film or go to a cafe with a good book. Don't let your DH make you feel bad. It would unfair to cancel childminder last min and expect not to pay her.

If you'd rather save the money, tell the childminder that if anyone else wants that day, you'll happily give it up. Otherwise you have to pay for it. But childfree says are the best!