to be a bit put out at friend?

[CornyCollins]

So I have a friend who recently announced she was going to do a very short charity running event trying to raise money for her pet's vet bills. They knew the animal would have significant vet bills when they took it on.

She has sent the link around ad nauseum with lots of stories about how the poor animal needs various things doing. Now I agree it's very sad that this poor animal needs treatment but I don't think they should be asking for all their friends to pay for it? We have a cat and if he needed treatment we would find a way/take out a loan etc. I wouldn't dream of asking my mates to cover it. They have some insurance but that will only cover about 1/3 of the cost but none of this treatment is a surprise.

What has left me feeling a bit put out is that she has recently been posting pictures on FB of her enjoying champagne and nights out. I felt pressured to sponsor her as we are friends/acquaintances and knew she would get very arsey the next time our paths cross if I didn't (and I totally agree that I didn't have to - but felt like I was a bit emotionally backed into a corner as our other halves used to work together) but AIBU to be generally asking WTF?

So yes, I ended up sponsoring her but still it's not like we can afford much, and then I have to look at pictures of her enjoying champagne at a hotel and "date nights" out with her other half? We are not hugely flush at the moment so I certainly don't get to do things like that. The money I sponsored her was probably less than those glasses of champagne cost!

She is not working at the moment (but is freelance so definitely could) and has full time au pair for their 3 yr old son. Not sure what she does all day.
Yet expects other people to chip in for vet bills?

She mentioned that another friend had said something along these lines to her, she was absolutely raging when she told me and said they'll never speak to her again and how dare she say that? I kept quiet but internally agreed with what the friend had said.

I had tried to just shrug it off as one of those things until I saw those photos of her drinking champagne in an expensive hotel and just saw red. Since when is GoFundMe a means to get other people to just fund your life??

I do totally accept that I was under no obligation to sponsor her and I'm definitely backing away from this friendship as I just feel we are coming at life from very different perspectives but am I alone in thinking charity runs should be for charity?

If it is for a sick child or sick friend/relative who desperately needs medical treatment and you're flat broke then that's obviously a different story but if you can afford to shellac your nails every 3 weeks and drink champagne in posh hotels then AIBU to think you've got no business asking your friends to cover your pet's vet bills?

Then again, maybe it's me...

I think you shouldn't have sponsored her. I am extremely passive aggressive and I would have comments on the champage nights out/requests for money. She's a cheeky bitch.

It's not really a charity event is it? Or is she actually tagging on to a real charity and then not handing the sponsorship over?

If you can afford to subsidise someone who employs domestic staff then you have more money than sense (Not everyone who has an au pair is rich, but they definitely aren't destitute).

If you didn't feel you could just say no to this request then you have a different definition of friendship to me.

You've given this person money now. I think it's a little pointless to be annoyed afterwards. Clearly they are a cheeky fucker, presumably they have good points too; weigh it up and decide whether you want them as a friend.

She was being a C.F. in the first place. You knew before the champagne photos that she lived a high life and made choices to spend her money on things other than her vet bills. She chooses not to work (i assume you know her well enough to be certain ill health isn't preventing her from working).

You still chose to 'donate. I understand why you did.

But you can't now be surprised when she continues to live the high life. So yabu to be annoyed. She was really really unreasonable to crowd source her pets vet bills. I can't get over the cheek of some people.

I would tell her what you think. She must be pretty arrogant to expect other people to pay for this. If she loses enough friends she might think again. I bet the rage was deliberately worked up, as a kind of blackmail.