Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset and angry after seeing this text

32 replies

Curlyshabtree · 10/08/2017 14:58

A colleague was showing me a photo he'd been sent on his phone when I saw a text he'd sent to another colleague slagging me off. It was nothing really vitriolic but personal and mean. I questioned him and then got very upset. He asked to talk to me about it, he was upset too. Then the manager comes into the room as well, closely followed by the assistant manager. They say they have been concerned about me but have not felt able to ask if I'm OK, but it seems it's okay for my colleagues to message each other about me. For the record I am OK and can't see what I've done that would make them concerned, they couldn't give me examples.
They tried to make out it was my fault?! I am really hurt and upset by the whole episode. The colleagues in question are mortified and have apologised but how on earth do I move on from this? I've worked with these colleagues for a number of years and have always (I thought) got on with them. I am not one to bear a grudge and am generally quite forgiving. But this has really wounded me. I have one more day to work and then I am off for a few weeks which will do me good. WWYD?

OP posts:
WooWooSister · 10/08/2017 16:37

You're conflating the two issues. Your colleague was wrong to bitch about you by text but you have said your manager will deal with that.

Your manager being concerned about you is a different issue. I would send your manager an email saying you would appreciate clarification on their concerns and their proposal on how to allay their concerns. Give them responsibility for both naming the problem and suggesting a solution.

When you get back from your holiday, have a meeting with them to discuss their response to the email.

You sound stressed. Flowers

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2017 18:02

So are these texts between your line manager and a manager?

Curlyshabtree · 10/08/2017 18:10

My line manager and another team member.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 10/08/2017 18:12

Your line manager and the team lead, though? Is that correct? Not just a colleague. Why are they concerned about you?

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2017 18:20

You need to go to HR, OP. This isn't on at all.

Curlyshabtree · 10/08/2017 18:32

Sorry, to clarify. The text was from my team leader/line manager to another team member. My manager and team leader then announced their concerns about me in the impromptu meeting I was having with team leader that was "gatecrashed" by my manager and the assistant manager.
Sorry if not coherent

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 10/08/2017 18:44

You need to go to HR. All staff should feel safe that nasty messages are not being passed around staff about them.

I said above - that situation with manager, assistant manager and line manager in the room trying to gaslight you over the texts is bullying.

You have to do something about this, OP.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page