To ask for help with these tantrums?

[lotsofstuffz]

DS is 2.
He's generally lovely, affectionate and a cheeky little boy but he gets very moody and sulky if he doesn't get his way.
Example: today I was looking at a magazine with prams in as we are expecting DC2 (DS doesn't understand yet) DS was sat on the sofa and I sat next to him and said "DS would you like to look with mummy?" he scooted up and I said "which one do you like?" He started smooshing and crinkling up the pages and not letting me turn over, when I tried to turn the page he's shout and babble and get angry and push my face away and tried snatching the magazine I said "we need to share" which prompted him to try even harder. I gently pushed him to the other side of the sofa and said "DS we need to share so we can both look" cue huge screaming and crying episode on the sofa. It lasted for about 5-10 mins.

I tried explaining we can both look together but it just made him go up in pitch every time so I left him to it and left the room. I knew if I gave him the magazine the tantrum would immediately stop he would just wipe his face and carry on as normal. But I think he needs to learn he can't just have everything his way.

He carried on and then came after me into the kitchen and wanted me to put the bubble machine on in between screams and unintelligible crying I said "no DS in a minute we haven't been sharing well" "we can have a cuddle first and calm down" he carried on crying and pointing to random things he "wanted" without vocalising which he is more than capable of I said "DS you can tell me what you want Mummy doesn't understand what you're saying right now" and he then settled for a cuddle and happily went away to play with his toys.

I didn't mind it today as we are in the house but he's capable of doing this in public too.
He tries to get his way and tantrums like that if he doesn't. No convincing calms him down and if you try and talk calmly and explain things he just gets louder, he can lash out and hit you or pull your hair.

I don't know if I'm dealing with these tantrums the right way and I'm getting worried I'm doing this all wrong.

Thanks for all the replies.

I won't be using DP as the "bad cop" as he works long hours and only sees DS for a couple of hours a day at most through the week and they're just too happy to see each other.

The magazine was just one example. If it was to take him to a toy shop he runs around like crazy spotting all the toys and characters he likes and recognises and just goes wild and wants everything.

He's very spirited I suppose. He can't sit still unless I put a cartoon on for him on my phone if I really need to do something.
His attention span is also not great. Sometimes it's like he doesn't hear me.

But he definitely has a little character - he once got his leg stuck in the cot bars and we came rushing in. So now when he's up in the morning he doesn't shout for me or DP anymore he will put his leg very slightly between the bars and start shouting "mum stuck! papa stuck!" pretending he can't get it out

He sounds just like my little one. I've had a right morning of it.

Took the two kids for a McDonald's breakfast. He threw a strop because his hash brown was too hot and his drink ran out.

Tried to nip round the supermarket literally 5 items and he spent the entire time trying to climb out of his pushchair.

Went into the sports shop for ds1 to have a quick look and ds2 found a random football and decided he wanted to play kicking it around, so we abandoned that idea.

Next I thought we'd go to the park for half an hour. He was quite happy until he bumped his head then decided he wanted to go home. Fine, half way out he wanted to go back, no, he wanted to play running in and out the gate. So I said one more go on the swing and it's home time. He refused to leave and sat on the floor. I picked him up and he screamed all the way home then wouldn't get out of the car.

He's happily watching cartoons now like butter wouldn't melt.

Oh he does that legs stuck in the cot bars thing. Deliberately gets stuck then moans so someone has to rescue him.

They are exhausting aren't they?

@Sayhellotothemoomoos DS is currently laid on my bed crying and moaning to himself saying "my pad".
I used MY iPad to look something up and he kept trying to snatch it off me and kick it over saying "mine" I told him "1 minute" he threw a strop. I left the room and currently hiding in the bathroom with the lights off one the "pad"

The cot thing is quite funny, he won't actually be stuck I'll go in the room and he will keep saying "stuck help stuck" and I'll say "come on get up DS" he will happily jump up and giggle ready to be picked up.

I think I have adapted to fit my environment as a pp said. I don't try to read a grown up magazine or look at my iPad in front of my DD as I know she'd kick off not having my attention / want to watch cartoons on the iPad. When she's awake with me we generally play, do housework 'together' or get out somewhere. It does drive me bonkers and I'm interested that you're able to do these things at all - but from my experience the tantrums sound entirely normal.

I don't think you'e posted anything that is unusual toddler behaviour.

Make sure there are reasonable consequences for 'bad' behaviour and if you can find a cure for tantrums you'll make a fortune!

And I wouldn't expect a two year-old to share yet.

DS1 would have done exactly the same. He is four now and has improved a bit but is still prone to being destructive and huge tantrums. We had him assessed by a pediatrician last week and she has said he is neurotypical with a possible leaning towards ADHD if the school push for a reassessment in a couple of years time.

I feel as though I'm not parenting him very well at all as I get angry and this works the whole situation up even more. If I could offer any advice it would be to manage your expectations and try not to escalate his behaviour by getting frustrated and/or angry.

When out, I would say hold hands or pram. Then if he is refusing to hold hands, put him in the pram (you might have to 'fight' him in and deal with the tantrum) but it's better than him running off. Sometimes you have to get shopping done and it's unavoidable.

Often telling them before hand is more effective than after they start messing. So before you get out the car tell him 'walk nicely next to mummy please. If you can't hold hands then you need to sit in the pram'.
Often 'thank you' is effective, so even if he just makes it from the car into the shop 'thank you for walking so sensibly, you're such a good boy'.

Some kids are a lot easier than others, some will walk nicely shopping but lots don't. You probably don't see the ones that don't as they've been left at home