To think this woman was massively insensitive... wwyd?

[Flynnshine]

We took our blind DD (6) to the theatre yesterday with some other families with blind children for an audio described performance.

When we took our seats we were sat in front of a couple in their 50's.

My DD carries a large white cane which the couple clearly saw as we took our seats and then watched as we sorted out the headphones for the audio description.

The woman then proceeded to very loudly say to her husband;

"I've always wondered what I would choose if I had to choose between losing my sight or my hearing... I honestly didn't know but I think I would definitely choose my hearing, I couldn't imagine living without my sight, how would anything be enjoyable!?"

All of this in total earshot of my DD who lost her sight only a few years ago. She looked up at me with the most heartbreaking look on her face.

I was absolutely gobsmacked and desperately wanted to turn and say something scathing to her but my mind was blank and only full of swear words. I squeezed my DD's hand and had to stop myself from bursting into tears.

AIBU to think that she was just fucking rude or perhaps just didn't consider what an inappropriate comment that was?

Also, help me here so I am armed for the future... what would you have said to her in that moment?

Thank you ladies x

WTF is wrong with people!!!! Give your lovely daughter a big hug from me. Stupidity and ignorance are the biggest handicaps, as that vile woman demonstrates to perfection

"How insensitive! Well if it was up to me, I'd like you to lose your voice. We don't all need to be upset listening to your nonsense!"

I'm so sorry, that woman was disgraceful . Well done for keeping all the swear words in, I wouldn't have been so controlled.

What an insensitive twat. I'm very sorry OP.

I suspect she didn't think you could hear her. Plenty of people think that if they are having a conversation, there is a magic bubble around them that stops sound travelling. I suspect a quick "you know we can both hear everything you are saying" would have embarrassed her sufficiently. If not you're looking at a different beast altogether.

I think it was one of those throwaway stupid comments people make; such as he had a good innings when someone dies or he is out of pain now or things happen for a reason when you, say, have a miscarriage, get divorced etc. I know they are not quite comparable but that is the thinking behind it.

Bloody insensitive and rude

"You may well have both your sight and hearing, but you clearly don't have a brain to operate them with. You really are very stupid and very rude aren't you?"

What an absolute bitch. I am so sorry OP and I really hope your daughter was not too upset.

Truly awful

"Just going to borrow your cane for a minute love" and twat rude woman round the ear. (Not really, but God I'd be tempted)
Hope your daughter and friends enjoyed the performance despite her.

I'm afraid I'd have probably gone with "my DD's blind, not fucking deaf. Thanks for making her feel even more shit about that. Hopefully you'll lose the power of speech"

But that really wouldn't have helped, would it.

Wow, what an unnecessary comment to make.
My daughter may have lost her sight, but you madam, appear to have lost a lot more.
If she wants more detail then list: empathy, awareness, manners, dignity etc.

But actually, I'd have probably invited her outside to explain herself, and then used several swear words.

What I would have said - and honestly, I wouldn't mind saying it to my DD, even if it's not "naice" - that any loss of hearing or vision is better than being born a fucking nasty cunty bitch.

What a shit thing to say. Hope you and your daughter are both ok?

She's blind not deaf you absolute bell end.

Your poor DD. What a rude, thoughtless, selfish woman to think only of herself out loud under the circumstances.

I think under circumstances like this it's ok to be completely honest and just point out the shitty behaviour.

"Excuse me, do you realise how hurtful you're being and how much you're upsetting my daughter? Why did you think this was a good time to discuss that?"

Wait and stare.

"does it come naturally to you, or did you have to practice to reach such a high standard of cuntishness?"

Or maybe with if your DD is there and you need a more PC version - "My daughter is blind, not deaf and has heard everything you've just said about her. You are a nasty woman and I hope that when you lose some of your faculties, you are treated with far more compassion and dignity than you afforded my daughter"

It's shit. My blind family member used humour or sarcasm to respond to stupid statements like that, but he was an adult when he lost his sight.

It might be worth giving your DD permission to be equally as rude back in those kind of situations. We teach our children not to be rude but I think in cases like this it might be healthy for her to know she has an exception to the rule. If she is assertive enough to say "I heard you. That's a really rude thing to say" she needs to know that she wont get into trouble for challenging assholes.

It might be an idea to chat to her that you both were taken aback and hurt by what the woman said and both of you learn phrases for the next time. Unfortunately your DD will encounter many assholes like this in the years to come.

The comment posted directly after yours was great OP. (Post number 2 on page 1.)

Well if my daughter had lost her hearing she would have the benefit of not having heard your comments. Please consider what you say in future.

I am so sorry your daughter has to put up with shit like this. I sincerely hope this woman has some kind of 'issue' and she isn't just a nasty, insensitive cunt.

I fear the latter though.

Give your daughter a big hug. Bless her

Oh, and OBVIOUSLY YANBU!

I actually welled up reading that. I would have burst into tears OP with my head full of rage and swear words but not actually able to articulate them. There are some truly nasty people in this world.

My first time posting - your post made me cry. I'm so sorry you and your daughter had to hear that, it's heartbreaking. My 5yo nephew is blind so know the struggles. I'm have no idea what I would have said in your position. Hope you all managed to enjoy the performance though.

What an absolute bell end.

I would have to have said something. Some people either lack self awareness, are cocks or are both.

Did your daughter enjoy it?

I'd have let my daughter hear in no uncertain terms what a total dick I thought this person was. and maybe smacked them too

Worth letting them know you'll stick up for them (and that it's ok to stick up for themselves too)

Oh OP that's horrible.
I'd like to think I'd say something like turn to look her in the eye - I heard that. It was extremely rude. You need to apologise right now to all of us.

And then I'd ask to be moved to better seats.

As I say, ideal world etc but absolutely awful when the shock paralyses you into thinking only 'did that really just happen?!'

Many hugs to you all x

That is so unbelievably fucking rude. I am pretty much speechless (and can understand why you were).

On the plus side, I really don't think you need to prepare a response for in case this happens again in future. It's so far beyond the pale that I think the chances of it happening again in future are pretty much zero.

PS have you had a chance to talk to your DD about how it made her feel? She is lucky to have a mum like you and I'm sure that your caring about her feelings makes a big difference. I expect here you have a good chance to make repair in some way (and perhaps to move on to talk generally about how the things you say can affect others etc?).