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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bringing a baby into work?

44 replies

BootsWithDresses · 09/08/2017 22:24

Ok fine to do to show your colleagues.

Bjt aibu to think you don't hang around the office for at least two hours with your baby crying on and off?

I have calls to make, as do other people. We all have work to concentrate on.

OP posts:

Genghi · 09/08/2017 23:20

It is unreasonable. If she continues to do it then make an official complaint via your manager

3luckystars · 09/08/2017 23:26

Most people visit once or not at all, there are people calling in every week?

That's unbelievable, how are they getting in to the building? Just walking in with a baby every week, is there any security? Imagine everyone did that. That's mad Ted.

Judydreamsofhorses · 09/08/2017 23:28

akani yes! Those student-free weeks are the only time we get to properly plan for the next academic year, as well as closing off the admin for this one.

Ontheboardwalk · 09/08/2017 23:28

Mothers, Grandmothers and pets welcome at my place of work crying children not so much.

Absolutely bring babies in for us to see and say hello. That should take about the same amount of time you have to stand in front of an adult you don't know, say hello then leave before it gets a bit uncomfortable

2 hours is a long time.

Greenifer · 09/08/2017 23:33

Genuinely don't get the taking baby into work for a visit thing. Is anyone remotely interested? It just seems like a lot of faff for no reason. Most of your colleagues will probably never see the baby again.

I didn't do it with mine, couldn't see the point.

Ontheboardwalk · 09/08/2017 23:46

Should say Dads and Granddads are welcome as well!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2017 23:51

I wouldn't want to be disturbed by a baby whilst I was in a library working either.

I was surprised and pleased the librarians encouraged us to come in. I initially asked DP to wait outside while I changed some books. But the librarians pointed out that they already have distinctions between 'quiet' and 'non-quiet' areas, and that it's very hard for student parents to feel welcome. So I did come in. Obviously it is different in an office where people may have nowhere else to go, but in a library where you can choose to be in the non-quiet zone, I thought it was a sensible and thoughtful idea.

I did wonder what would happen with a baby old enough to make noises, though!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/08/2017 23:55

Oh, and PhD students, postdocs and lecturers in my building would be able to use the library in the same way as everyone else during the summer: to get books out, or to be sociable. They will all have their own study spaces in the same building or within five minutes' walk, if they want absolute quiet.

LockedOutOfMN · 09/08/2017 23:57

Yes, fine to pop in for 10-15 minutes at a time when you know people you're close to at work will be able to see the baby and chat briefly.

Anything longer / more of a fuss is U.

CakeNinja · 09/08/2017 23:57

Colleagues of mine have done this. Why?!? We work in a school - there are kids everywhere! We get 15 minutes break and a supposed hour at lunch (ha!) - if you're a friend, I will have made arrangements outside of work to come and see you or vice versa - if not, you'll get a cursory "cute! Hope you're well?!" as I scupper into the staffroom to ask someone the whereabouts of a particular textbook!
I love babies belonging to my friends because I love my friends - I choose my friends, I don't choose my colleagues!
Does that make me miserable? Probably. Do I care? Nope

Akani · 10/08/2017 08:17

"or to be sociable."

Ah. I see, our library still has a quiet policy everyone apart from the coffee shop and the group meeting rooms. Thankfully. Hopefully it stays that way - it's an awesome quiet space to work and often is easier to get things done there than in open-plan offices.

RiverTam · 10/08/2017 08:19

2 hours is excessive, though. I've never known anyone hang around for as long as that. Normally people come in with their baby about half an hour before lunch, do the rounds and then head out to lunch with their particular friends.

OoohSmooch · 10/08/2017 10:27

Going slightly off topic here but this type of thing again?

Either a mother lonely and struggling with her new role. Or a mother who believes her precious baby is the most perfect ever and the whole world wants nothing more than to gaze adoringly at that face

New mums don't fall into just the two categories...^rolling eyes^ over here.

I'm a lovely combination of the above, I'm not lonely but I have struggled, my baby is precious and perfect to me but she's also one of 7 billion people on the planet so I'm pretty realistic about it.

It could be that your colleague was asked to go in, she also was then asked to stay so don't put all the blame on her. It's a one off, you work in an office so you should be able to drown out most background noise anyway.

dollydaydream114 · 10/08/2017 10:51

YANBU. Fine to bring the baby in to say hi and show them off, let people have a little cuddle with them if the baby's happy with that - but it isn't appropriate to sit in an open-plan office chatting for a couple of hours with people who are supposed to be working, particularly if the baby is crying on and off.

There was a woman in my previous office who brought her baby in three times during her maternity leave and stayed for hours each time. She parked herself in our breakout area (so we couldn't use it for informal meetings like we usually do) and had lots of really long, loud conversations with her team members while our team was trying to work. The baby cried a lot each time but it was worst on the last occasion and she was sitting right next to the press office who were taking media calls from journalists about a serious incident, some of whom could hear the baby crying and asked what on earth was going on; it made our organisation look really unprofessional. She was also weaning the baby and fed it in the office, so there was mashed avocado and bits of slimy spitty breadstick all over the chairs and the carpet.

Our line manager did have a word with her line manager about it, as the presence of someone essentially using the office as a cafe for chats and baby feeding for a few hours was really disruptive. Absolutely fine to pop in with the baby to say hi, or to bring the baby to a routine mat leave catch-up with your manager, but not to make into hours of socialising. If you want to do that, go out for lunch with your colleagues to a cafe.

Mia1415 · 10/08/2017 11:04

When I had my baby, a colleague 'stole' him and then proceeded to take him around the whole company for about 2 hours! She only bought him back when he was hungry. It was hilarious. People were popping in the office to see me (and him) and I'd no idea where he had gone.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. If its a one off its fine. If she does it every week during her mat leave you have a fair point!

TheEmojiMovieLooksShite · 10/08/2017 11:09

I hate it when people bring their babies into work. It's really awkward and I find I have no idea what to do or say.

Luckily I have my own office so I can just hide away in there until they've gone and they don't disrupt my work.

MelvinThePenguin · 10/08/2017 11:17

Has nobody had their colleagues badger them to take their kids in?

It's an absolute logistical nightmare for me to take my children to my workplace and I dread it. However, my colleagues desperately wanted to meet DD2 so I took her up a few weeks ago.

They were disappointed when I left (I thought an hour was more than enough) and asked me to bring DD1 in next time too! Argh!

fluffywhitecarpet · 10/08/2017 11:17

It's fine to pop in to catch up with work friends and let them have a cuddle with the baby if they want to.

I would leave straight away if the baby became noisy, and I wouldn't stay longer than 20-30 minutes depending on how many people to catch up with and how busy the place was.

MujosMama · 10/08/2017 11:40

I have to admit i was guilty of this recently. My line manager asked me to come in to discuss my return to work/KIT days and she agreed in advance I could bring 7 week old DS as my DP was working. He slept on one of my colleagues who happens to also be a close personal friend for about half an hour while I was in the meeting with my line manager, then she brought him into me when he started to grizzle and I fed him and let him drop back off while we finished up. It helps that my boss is also someone I count as a friend and has had 4 kids, so breastfeeding in front of her was not an issue. However on the way out a lot of my colleagues wanted a cuddle and a hold so I ended up staying for another hour or so while he got passed around, but he was very well behaved. We have an open plan office so I suppose it might have been disruptive but to be honest my colleagues were louder than my baby (laughing, not crying. That would have been weird)! As soon as he got grizzly again we left. But if he'd been crying a lot I definitely would have made my excuses sooner. Funny how they always seem to make their way back to you when they cry anyway! Despite all that, I don't think you're BU as it sounds like she just wanted to come in for a chat with a small group which as you say could have been done in a cafe on their own time

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