AIBU to dread DD having friends round?

[tigercub50]

I wish I was one of those Mums that seem to operate an open door policy & there are always kids calling around, in the garden, in the bedroom etc etc. DD spends quite a bit of time at a friend's house & I do feel guilty that I don't return the favour quite so much. I love kids but I also love my own space & I find it hard to relax when DD has someone round. She can get quite silly (she's only 8 so gets a bit carried away & can tend to show off) but I know I need to be firmer with her generally. Am I alone or does any one else feel relieved when the friends have gone home?

Me! I bloody hate it. I stress too much trying to make sure they are having a good time, will they want to eat what i make? Etc etc.

I think yabu if you are palming her off for other parents to deal with her 'silliness' bit not reciprocating tbh. I doubt anyone loves having other people kids round but still take their turn.

DD has a particular friend who she gets on really well with and they are very supportive of each other BUT whenever she comes round I get the feeling she is judging everything about our home, the meals I cook etc etc. I always look forward to her going home!

I'm with you, I dread having other children round. Luckily we live on a quiet cul-de-sac so the kids (dd9 +ds7) can play out with the neighbours two. They come in occasionally but I turf them all out after not too long. I dread them asking to have friends from school for tea, I do it occasionally but not often. Some of us arrange trips to the roller rink or trampoline place, that's a good compromise.

You really do need to learn to love it!!
Best way to get owt done here is to have even more dc around. It does work!!

I think it largely depends on the friend. Some are nice, calm, well behaved children and so my DD will be nice, calm and well behaved. Some a fucking wild and will run riot, ruining toys, screaming like banshees. Those playdates are stressful.

Corbyns, I do have that particular friend round but just not as much as DD goes to her. She has 4 kids & is absolutely fine with DD joining in round there (obviously I don't take the p so it's not all day every day). Here there's only me & DD a lot of the time so I guess it's less relaxed for the friend

I dread it but I do it because that's fair!

Sorry her Mum has 4 kids!

I used to love it when DD was younger. Oh yes, I have (apparently) been called mean because I say no a lot but actually that's because of DD putting me on the spot & demanding stuff that she knows I will usually refuse to give her! Sometimes I give in but it leads to chaos!

Just the word "potions" strikes fear into my heart lol!

Do you think it might be an 'only child' thing? DGS is so easy at home playing on his own but goes wild when he has a friend round.
Kids with siblings seem to know how to play with others on their own territory. When my three DC were kids other kids were in and out to play without causing chaos.
Just a thought!

3DDs had various friends over the years. Some were lovely and asked back often. Some were a nightmare and i wouldn't have them back.

DDs knew if they or their mates misbehaved and showed off they wouldn't have friends round. Full stop.

With 3 close in age i had to be a bit strict. I sound a horrible mum but kids would always ask to back come time and time again.

God yes op. I find play dates stressful even though my DC seem to pick nice friends who are usually a pleasure to have over.

I think it's a combination of my own DC showing off / being silly, me feeling anxious about producing an acceptable meal (I'm not a keen or particularly good cook and find meal prep quite stressful when we have visitors), worrying about whether the visiting DC is having a good time, feeling like a failure if I let them have any screen time as part of the playdate, worrying about whether I'm being too strict / too lax / too involved / too hands off etc etc etc.

All of which is ridiculous because the DC's friends are lovely and their parents are lovely too and would never judge any play date choices I make.

But yes I'm always glad when visitors have gone. I would never not do play dates-it's important for DC to have them I think-but I can't say I ever really relax when they have them here. I'm at my happiest and most chilled when it's just me, DH and our boys in the house tbh.

Am only child thing? Er no. I find the kids with siblings to be the wildest of all. Ds had 2 brothers round to play in the paddling pool today and my god the squealing and the bickering was something else. However it's just part and parcel of having kids really and they all mostly play out now so actual play dates are few and far between. We're onto the next stage, sleepovers shoot me now.

Ive always got a houseful, it can get a bit much sometimes but generally it's great because they amuse each other (I get a break from football!)
There are some friends I refuse because they are a nightmare. If they start getting rowdy I send them outside to play.

Still think you should reciprocate family equally tbh. You could just as easily say that with 4 kids she's got enough on her plate and it would be easier for you to have 2 so she could have a bit of quality time with the others. She might SAY she doesn't mind but other peoples kids are not as easy as your own ime - especially if they are prone to silliness. She might eventually get fed up of the unevenness of the deal if you don't do your fair share.

It would only be 2 out of 4 round anyway, as there's an older girl & a baby. I will text her to offer. The younger girl is round for lunch tomorrow anyway

I don't like 'playdates' but love the playing out. DS plays out all the time and yes, sometimes they come in so there is a houseful of kids, but there is absolutely no expectation to do anything with/ for them and if I get fed up with them I can just chuck the out again. It's ideal for only-one DS (6). You do need to live somewhere really safe for it to work.

When mine were young I did like having kids round and had pretty much an open door policy - I think you just have to be relaxed about it and not worry about doing it right, be fairly flexible, and assume of they don't enjoy themselves they won't come again, so it's no longer your problem.

Encourage as much garden play as possible was my motto. Most kids love a box of old clothes for dressing up - keeps them busy for ages. Dens (two chairs and a blanket draped over them) are also very popular.
Don't worry if they won't eat anything offered - they won't starve (one of DS friends claimed he only ate cucumber - so I gave him cucumber slices in a bowl while we ate our dinner- he was quite happy)

I miss the same, DD is now 14 and I still dread it. I wish I could be one of these cool, stress free parents who enjoy housefuls of teens. In reality DD and her friends are loud, silly, screaming laughing, jumping around and generally making a mess whether it's tipping sweets or drinks on the furniture and carpets. I can't be bothered with it.

I don't MISS the same, I FEEL the same

Dd had a friend round yesterday. Her friend is a twin. She arrived and went instantly wild. The weather was so cold, rainy and bad. I ended up taking them to the cinema and McDonalds because I thought this wouldn't end well. We had another friend round today. The weather was better this afternoon. But the play date was a lot easier. We stayed in. They played shops, dolls, loom bands, trampoline, gokart. They're 9.