To think that it's not nice to gloat in front of a child?

[nerdgasm]

This is my first AIBU thread and I'm entirely prepared to be told that I'm being unreasonable, that I should mind my own business, and that as a non-parent I have no right to pass judgement. But I'm just curious to see what people think about this.

I work at a popular visitor attraction where lots of tourists and families come to visit. This morning I walked past a man and his son, who was probably 7 or 8 years old (but again, I'm not a parent and can't claim to be great at guessing children's ages).

As I was passing the dad stopped me and asked me a question about the building I work in. He said 'my son thinks X, is that right?'

I said very nicely to the boy that lots of people think X and I could see why he'd thought that, but actually it's Y.

The dad immediately punched the air and said 'yessss!' then spun around and starting doing a sort of victory dance in the boy's face, saying 'I told you! I was right and you were wrong!' and various other things along those lines. The boy looked really embarrassed and I felt so bad for him.

AIBU to think that this dad's a bit of a dick?

YANBU his Dad's a childish arsehole.

Dad is a total wanker. Some people just always have to be right, and make sure everyone knows it, even if that is at expense of a child's self esteem.

I do this all the time.

I'm much worse when we play board games and i win. I have a victory song and dance

I don't think it sounds that bad.

Perhaps the kid was embarrassed because of his Dad's behaviour and not the fact he was wrong.

I think it's not great even as a game

The dad does sound like a bit of a knob, but you never know- maybe that's how the son normally behaves and the dad was showing him what it felt like to be a bad winner

Gah, sent too soon. I think it's not great even as a game because I'd worry about them doing it to friends/other people who don't get the joke

I would definitely do that sort of thing. They can beat me at running races now but for years I I took great pride in beating them.

Yes, YABU.
Part of a parents role is to teach them how to reat to all sorts of responses. Resiliance is a really good thing for everybody to learn. Joshing and banter like that is fine.

We like a bit of banter as a family. There's been instances of dabbing. Dh is the best bottle flipper etc. But it's a private family thing where everyone laughs and the "loser" will be doing the "oooooooooh" thing with the hands from Regular Show.

Doing it in front of strangers when the wee one isn't in on the joke sounds mean.

Ds does that to me all the time. If I were ever proved correct about anything I'd probably do the happy tap dance!

Probably a bit of banter. No harm. But does anyone remember competitive dad from
the Fast Show? Now that would seriously suck!

YANBU my BIL is like this and it pisses me off.

Interesting range of responses, thanks everyone! I know that you can't really judge much based on one tiny glimpse into a relationship. As someone else said, for all I know the kid had been acting like a little know-it-all all morning and dad was just making a point.

I suppose it made me sad because I love to see kids at my workplace exploring and learning from the things that they see, and I think asking questions is only to be encouraged. I've always been someone who's afraid to ask any questions in case I look silly, and I know it only ever holds me back. So I guess I felt bad that the kid had potentially been humiliated and dissuaded from asking a (perfectly reasonable) question in that kind of situation again.

Ha ha, I remember competitive dad. As long as it's in jest then its ok surely? I gloat when I win at games etc, but I expect the same from them too. All part of building well rounded people isn't it?

Sounds like my brother. He could never let his kids beat him at anything, even when they were really young.

'm much worse when we play board games and i win. I have a victory song and dance grin

Thank you for this, it made me smile.

Also I have 2 boys and it tends to be more of a game. Trust me they will gloat for hours to me so I like a bit of pay back

I should also add that the thing they were asking about was quite technical and there was no way I'd expect a child to have known the answer. And his guess was perfectly sensible, and something that people ask me all the time. That's why I found it really shitty for the dad to behave like that when he was 'right'.

"humiliated"

Hardly.

Meh, I think this is a probably "had to be there" moment to really judge whether it was an inside joke/family "thing" or whether the dad was a complete dick and needed to grow the fuck up and be more supportive towards his child.

My DS(3) and I already have some inside jokes/things we say that wouldn't sound very nice said dead pan out of context but we know we are joking. For example: I had an ice cream today and you missed it! (Tbf, this is always DS saying to me not the other way around), another favourite is "I wiped your kiss off!" But usually with the intent of receiving more kisses

Sounds like a prat!

YANBU OH would never do that to DS.

That does sound mean tbf hopefully it was just a bit of silly banter and the son took it in a playful manner.

I'm visualising Competitive Dad too.

I'd agree that context matters. Generally I try to teach my DCs not to be a "sore winner" and gloat at each other to the other's expense. There is room for pride at an achievement, just not to rub it in. Sometimes I might ham it up a bit more, but as an adult I have the social skill to read the situation, the DC's reaction and where the boundary is, for the DCs that's still developing.

Was the boy called Toby?