Posted here for traffic. I'll try and keep this as short as possible without drop feeding.
I'm 29 and live at home. I suffer from ptsd and depression after a car crash. I fully admit I am also a problem drinker as I struggle to deal with day to day life and also lie awake at night with panic attacks.
My mother has her own problems and wasn't working for a period. I came into some money from an old tribunal claim and paid off some of her debts, including mortgage arrears, to help out and take the pressure off us both. I also took her away for an all expenses paid holiday.
With the rest of the money I set up a cleaning business. I don't drive, and because mum wasn't working herself we decided to work together. Bank account etc in my name.
Except we would get paid and the money would all get spent by her. At first I thought I could help her out of the financial mess she had got herself into, but for 2.5 years I have been going out to work, and essentially she is getting paid double the hourly rate we charge, but only doing half the hours.
On top of this, she is controlling and abusive to me. Numerous times she has kicked me out when I dare to stand up for myself. I have gone to my dad's 3 hours away and within a day she's phoning and asking me to come back because she doesn't know how she's going to do the cleaning by herself.
Sometimes she would orchestrate arguments in the morning and then use it as an excuse to refuse to go to work. She would let people down or turn up really late.
I began drinking again to the point where I couldn't get out of bed to work. A passive aggressive stance against her behaviour I guess.
Then I got a large-ish compensation payout from my car crash. I set up a new, different business, but her behaviour and my drinking games whilst trying to clean on the side meant it all got too much and I've been given anti depressants by the GP again.
I'm now eating into this compensation money paying all her bills, Inc mortgage and food etc, because she refuses to go to work if I'm not going. But if I go, I'm only working to pay her bills. There is never anything left over. She will always find something to spend it on!
Today it came to a head as I've let her use a credit card of mine for 5-6 months. It was only for food and vet bills (see my other threads) and she agreed to pay half. She never has.
I took the credit card back and she told me not to go to the cleaning jobs today and to move out. I've also put 2k in her account to stop bank charges as she won't keep an eye on her account and direct debits, and we've had some unexpected bills lately. She let's it get so out of hand that we've had debt collectors round before which I find really stressful so was just trying to avoid that.
She told me not to come to the cleaning jobs, but as I went to get out of the car she began speeding, me with the car door open and no seat belt on, not even stopping at junctions and driving dangerously (wreaking havoc on my ptsd that I was shaking).
When I finally got out she followed me in the car and said I was irresponsible not going to work and it was all my fault, so I got back in the car.
She then refused to go to work herself. But that was my fault too.
Im hesitant about moving out due to my mental state and drinking. But tbh she's making both of those worse! Sorry this is so long but I have nowhere else to turn. Please help with some brilliant brutal MN advice