Eating

[NCbecauseimprobablyU]

I'm probably being U. I know this.
In the grand scheme of things this probably doesn't bother other people, but it's plagued me for my entire life.
I can't stand people eating. I really can't, as a child I would have the most huge tantrums over this. Especially loud eaters/clicky jaws/licking fingers etc. people eating with their mouths open.
I have tried to seek medical help for this but the doctor I saw wasn't interested. It might be because I find it really hard to put across how I feel and how it effects my life.
I don't say anything to strangers or people I don't know well. When I'm in a situation where I can't escape it eg on a train as happened recently I can remain outwardly calm but inside I can't get my mind off it. No matter how much music etc I play it doesn't help.
I've now stopped using public transport due to this.
I haven't eaten out in years.
It is part of the reason my last relationship broke down - I couldn't bare the sound of him eating. In fairness he would do things like get up for work, make cereal (always something super crunchy) then go and sit next to me in bed eating while I slept. 9/10 I would wake crying or angry (I never hit him or anything but started screaming at him to just get out).
I now live overseas but I wouldn't go over to my family's house as my sister has really weird eating rituals. She picks food up slowly, licks her lips and looks at it from every angle before eating it. My mum, who has no issues with anyone eating finds this extremely annoying. My mum (bless her) has a breathing issue and false teeth which means she eats really loudly. If we're on the phone and she starts eating I hang up immediately, which makes her feel bad.
I really want help for this but no one seems to take it seriously at all. I know it sounds ridiculous I really do.
I plan my days to avoid being around people who are eating, sometimes it's ok it's only loud/obvious eaters or anything crunchy/loud, or as my STBXHhad a clicky jaw.
I feel so horrid for saying that despite how heartbroken I was over our split I was so relieved I didn't have to deal with the noise anymore,
Aibu, help?

You suffer with Misophonia

www.misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/

I'd like to see someone about it though and get help but I don't know how - particularly when I've already tried (my gp) and got nowhere

I have some sympathy, as although my reactions aren't as severe, I do have misophonia so a lot of perfectly innocuous sounds make me irrationally angry. My FIL is a noisy eater, smacking his lips and making 'mmm' noises continually when he eats. He's a lovely man, and DH is very close to him, but I have to prepare myself for visits!

You're unlikely to get any help from your GP as this won't be seen as a high enough priority, IME. Could you look into something like hypnotherapy or other therapeutic treatments privately? It won't be cheap of course, but given the effect it's having on the quality of your life it might be worth the investment.
I hope you find relief soon.

I suffer with it too. I absolutely hate loud breathing, snoring, licking, kissing, slurpy sounds.

I recently spent 2 days in hospital with a poor man who could do nothing but lay there. He couldn't get himself drinks, nurses would have to come and help him with water. So he always had a dry mouth. He spent two solid days trying to moisten his own mouth by CONSTANTLY licking THE inside of his mouth.

I fantasised about bashing him to death! Of course I'd never do such a thing. Kept myself outwardly calm, never uttered a word of annoyance... I mean the poor guy couldn't help it.

But it drove me absolutely insane and I never slept a wink because the fire burning in my belly was too much. I cried in the loo's.

I rarely sleep in the same bed as my DH as I can't bear the sounds he makes.

GPs won't take it seriously with me either. I second hypnotherapy. I unfortunately can't afford it at the moment, but if I ever have the money I'll be giving it a go.

I pay for private healthcare anyway tbh but I'm just wondering where to start really. I don't know how to get therapy or whatever, how do you start, google a therapist and ring them?

You are in a fantasy world if you think you're getting this free on the NHS!!! Its just like a phobia of flying, or a phobia of spiders - you need to get yourself some counselling about how to detangle your emotional reaction, but without the whole country paying 99% tax this sort of lifestyle stuff just isn't going to be free.

Usually this sort of thing is specifically advertised. Like how you can go on courses that cure phobias of flying. Check anyone you go to is accredited.

Pretty much! This website has some useful info on different therapies.

Kimmy, the OP has already stated that she is prepared to go private. Could you perhaps read posts fully before making snide comments? Thanks

Btw, the 'pretty much' was reply to the op's question about googling therapists.

Kimmy "Lifestyle stuff"? This sounds like a serious anxiety disorder to me.

I have misophonia too and eating noises (among other things) make me panicky, angry and tearful. I was on a late train home a few nights ago and it was totally silent apart from a man noisily eating a sausage supper from the chippy. With every chomp, squelch of sausage being bitten and finger he licked I was getting more and more wound up.

It's horrible.

kimmy Excuse me?
Stop chatting shit about the nhs.
There is no NHS where I live (I did state I now live overseas).
I also pay for private healthcare through choice.
But you pop over to your dreamland where everyone irrespective of where they live is a drain on the NHS

Thanks to the helpful comments though - and I'm sorry others experience the same

There is actually a specialist in London who is nhs and deals with Misophonia

Sadly at present treatment private or NHS is very limited, white noise generators which you wear in your ear can help mask

CBT can help but you need a specific practitioner who deals with this condition

We've had some success in using 5htp which boosts natural neuro transmitter levels

The slightly better news is that a ground breaking piece of research was published here in the U.K. Last year.

For the first time it identified where in the brain the stimulation occurred leading to outlined ideas for treatment which may be available within the next 5 years

Misophonia and related misokinesia are truly horrible conditions at their worst, DD has to attend school from home due to her severity it's stolen her teenage years from her so you have my sympathy

You can incidentally join a support group called Misophonia uk