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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a weird present for an 8yo?

28 replies

coriliavijvaad · 08/08/2017 20:39

It is my DS's 8th birthday in 3 days. Over the last few days a number of parcels have arrived from amazon addressed to him. It is normal in our family for relatives to send parcels like this unwrapped so as I had some spare time today I open all the parcels to wrap the gifts in proper birthday paper (mentioning this only in case you think this is nosey of me).

So, among various other items which were on his wishlist was one item which really wasn't. These VR 3D goggles.

Now my stb-8yo doesn't have a smartphone and won't be getting one for at least 3 or 4 years, and certainly won't be borrowing mine for gaming purposes. Also it's for an adult size head and I doubt it would fit him. So the gift is basically useless - I could possibly put it in the attic for until he is 12 but it will probably be obsolete by then.

To compound all this the gift is anonymous - there's no delivery slip and nothing to say who it is from. First step was to text/email/call various relatives who might have sent a gift, but all denied knowledge. I phoned amazon in case it was delivered to us by mistake - perhaps someone expecting some VR goggles has received an exciting Lego Nexo Knights play set that they have no use for - but that just made it all more mysterious as amazon would only confirm that there was no mistake, the purchaser definitely intended it to be for him, but the purchaser chose anonymity and they can reveal no more.

So am I right that this is seriously weird - both in thinking that this was an appropriate gift for an 8yo and for giving it in a secretive manner?

Any suggestions for further investigation and WIBU to try to get amazon to exchange it for something more appropriate?

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 08/08/2017 20:42

Have you got a tight arse relative that has had a free gift sent your way as a bona fide present?

nancy75 · 08/08/2017 20:43

Can't you just put a couple of the VR apps on your phone & let him use the goggles? The apps are mostly free

InDubiousBattle · 08/08/2017 20:44

Do you have a partner/older sibling who secretly wants one of these and is buying it 'for' your ds but actually for themselves?

geekone · 08/08/2017 20:44

Not really a lot of kids at 8 have a smartphone now and those are normally adjustable. However that said my DS is 8 in the next 6 months and this would be a pointless present. My parents already asked if we want one for him!

TheDuckSaysMoo · 08/08/2017 20:47

I think that's a fab present for an 8yo. DS 9 got to play with some during science at school last year and we use them when touring with events to encourage girls into STEM subjects.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 08/08/2017 20:47

I don't think it is a particularly weird present. Perssumably these are not close relatives otherwise they would deliver the gift themselves so I can see why they would assume DS had a smartphone or at least had access to one. I think they are one size fits all kind of thing so don't think you need to read too much into them being adult sized. Download a few VR apps such as rollercoasters etc on your phone and let DS enjoy his present. The novelty will wear off quickly. Ours hasn't been out of the drawer for months.

BikeRunSki · 08/08/2017 20:48

DS is 8 and had something similar that his teenage cousin gave him. We've put a couple of apps on sn old phone for him. He quite enjoys it.

missiondecision · 08/08/2017 20:49

It's not that weird.
Yabu to open them though. Waste of paper.

RB68 · 08/08/2017 20:59

err they were in the box from amazon - they were opened to gift wrap

They are brilliant but you do need the right sort of phone - I would adopt them ah ah ha. You did everything to trace them and they are useless without a phone he can use

Witchend · 08/08/2017 21:01

Ds is just 10yo and has been desperate for those for about a year.
They probably assumed that you could use your phone if he didn't have one.

Fab present.

NorthumbrianGirl · 08/08/2017 21:33

I don't think that's a particularly weird present. I think an 8 yo would enjoy them. Can you really not stick an app on your phone for him to use?

gamerchick · 08/08/2017 21:36

I think it's a mint present Grin

user1488397844 · 08/08/2017 21:39

You sound ungrateful.. and I bet your 8yo would love the present.

TheAntiBoop · 08/08/2017 21:44

P rein who sent them wants them. You'll find out soon enough!

FluffyWhiteSlippers · 08/08/2017 21:49

Great pressie. Whack an app on your phone and let him shoot aliens.

Mynewballoon · 08/08/2017 21:51

It's a great present! We bought these for 11 yr old DSD and the 8yr old loved them, as did all the adults. They have their own phones though, but surely you could let DS borrow your phone for short periods of time?

Tigerlovingall · 08/08/2017 21:58

So, do you write a list of who sent what so he/you can send thanks? I do....process of elimination...thank auntie Elsie for X, uncle joe for y, and so on, down your list..you'll get thereSmile

Hope the birthday goes well, and that there will be cake

Mouikey · 08/08/2017 21:59

I didn't think there is a way to remain anonymous on Amazon when sending a gift and it seems to be standard practice for them not to send slips these days. When my baby was born we had a similar situation. They could only track the package using one of the stickers on the parcel and eventually figured out who it was! Might be worth another call to them?

manglethedangle · 08/08/2017 22:17

I got DH somefor CHristmas as a stocking filler, the whole family loved them including 8yo DN.

Original poster
coriliavijvaad · 08/08/2017 22:18

OK so given the number of people who think it's a good gift for an 8yo maybe I am being a bit unreasonable thinking the giver is loopy. Whoever it is may well know another 8yo who this would be perfect for and is assuming my ds is in a similar situation.

Maybe I am unusual but (a) I am very cautious about what apps I put on my phone, I have very few apps and what I do have is stuff that I genuinely need, is from a reputable developer and has limited permission requirements (nothing with ads or in-app purchases, nothing that can intrude on privacy or access phone data, or override important setings). I would not expect to find any VR app that meets these criteria. And (b) my phone is the property of my employer and I do not hand it over to my son for games and there is no way I am opening that can of worms - imagine being unable to answer a call from work because my DS is enjoying a virtual rollercoaster ride through jurassic park. No.

Unfortunately a process of elimination isn't going to work. We are a quite disparate clan both in physical distance and in emotional bonds - each relative may have a thought to send a gift some years but not every year, one would rarely expect something from everyone. I can't think of any relative who would chose anonymity though!

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 08/08/2017 22:24

That's the nature of presents though isn't it, you get good ones and not so good ones. This might be a not so good one for your son. You could offer to swap it for him or give him the money then re gift it if you can think of someone that might like it.

Win some, lose some with presents.

TheAntiBoop · 08/08/2017 22:32

It's a bit odd they've sent it anonymously

TheSnowFairy · 08/08/2017 22:32

They are a fab gift if they do have access to a phone, DS2 (13) loves his and lots of his friends got them this year too.

scrabbler3 · 08/08/2017 22:37

It looks great.

I understand why you can't hand over your work smartphone though. We have tablets via work and they are handed over with strict instructions about usage.

pieceofpurplesky · 08/08/2017 22:40

It's not a game though. These are now used in schools to bring geography to life, to bring dinosaurs and space to life.

Supervised it really will not be a problem