iPads in a restaurant...

[NoNameNoGame]

So today I met a friend for lunch at a restaurant with her 2 DC (5 & 3). They both bring along their iPads and watch YouTube / play games with the volume on full blast.

I could see a group of 3 girls on a nearby table keep looking as I know the sounds must have been annoying for them. I was struggling to hear why my friend was saying and she did not seemed to be phased by the loud volume (X2!).

I tried to hint and say... Awww DC1 can you turn the volume a little low, I can't hear mummy (she didn't even react). I pressed the button on the iPad of DC1 turning the volume halfway down, thinking she would to the same to DC2. But no!

I have no kids.

AIBU - iPads on full volume in a restaurant disturbing other diners?...

Oh and to top it off, when it came to paying the bill she only paid £5 extra even though her DC had starters main and desserts!

Deanna so children like mine, with Sen should stay at home if they are so ' badly behaved?' Really?

Did i say that? Really? Or did I say that NT children shouldn't get away with being badly behaved because someone uses our SN kids as an excuse every singe time it comes up. I'm sick of it.

@Sirzy absolutely, hence my very careful phrasing of "I don't intend to..." I'm under no illusion that I'm sure the image you have of yourself as a parent before they arrive probably massively changes afterwards! I've worked in several adult and child learning disability services so completely understand how technology helps parents in that circumstance, and I also appreciate for some people with an LD or SEN headphones would not be tolerable for them. I really do understand. .... other parents who don't have this situation and do it just because they don't want to come up with more creative ways to try and entertain their child (that doesn't involve a screen)...
Not so much!!

Mum abuts, often Ive spent all day entertain g my kids on a day out, being creative, engaging all day. Once we reach the restaurant at the end of a long day it's often nice to sit n peace, have a break. If an iPad helps with this do be it obv I insist on headphones. It's so easy to see a small snippet of someone's day and pass judgement. The last thing I want to do after a long day out is engage in colouring, kiddie chat etc. The kids also need down time.

I'm very lucky in that my 4yo will sit quietly colouring or playing with toys in a restaurant, I've never needed an iPad, but I wouldn't hesitate bringing one if she did...with headphones. No one else needs to hear that when they're eating!

Going against the grain on this one but if you don't have kids and you arrange to meet friend with 2 DC's at a restaurant to catch up then she definitely would have wanted to try to keep her kids entertained in the easiest form so she could actually talk with you. It's not much fun and digging around in a bag every 3 mins for another car/doll/toy, the red crayon no mummy I need the RED one and breaking up the constant bickering between the DC - especially when it's been wet school holidays. My 2 DC are same ages and although they can behave quite well at a restaurant without their tablets it is often much easier to just let them have them. We generally take the tablets if there aren't any other children and they don't know the adults very well - so Sunday lunch with grandparents tablets are left at home as example.

However, she was unreasonable to not have headphones for them or set an acceptable volume for them.

If it's on mute, it's none of my business. But absolutely not acceptable to have the volume on without headphones. The brain processes electronic sounds (and one-sided mobile conversations) differently from normal two-way speech, and can't tune them out. It's not okay to force other people too listen to Peppa Pig or whatever.

I'd have left. Or located the iPads where the sun doesn't shine. I don't understand parents who let devises do the parenting and not put some effort it.

Of course this wasn't appropriate. If the behaviour of children disturbs other people then it's down to the parents. If you can't rely on children to behave or quietly amuse themselves then get a takeaway.

I don't mind that they were on their iPads, that's her choice. But it really was the loud volume that was getting to me and the other diners. There were crayons and colouring books provided by the restaurant.

Totally inappropriate and annoying behaviour.

My friends with kids bring quiet activities like colouring or sticker books to restaurants, any tantrums start and they get told off.

When I'm not with my mum friends I try to choose child free restaurants or bars.

I like children honestly.... but not noisy iPads.

Btw adults are often guilty of noisy iPad or phone behaviour in some places and that's even worse!

She sounds like a nightmare. Other people's children can be so annoying

It's not OK to be disturbing everyone else with noise from an ipad. My ds needs his when we go out but he either has it on very low eg I can't hear it or has his headphones. My dd who doesn't need it is often happy with colouring in or chatting with others. However if she wants her ipad she can have it as it is difficult explaining to a 4 year old why she can't but her brother can. Same rules apply volume-wise.

The ipad/parenting is a red herring. This is about selfish people who don't stop to think about their impact on others.

Gadgets are fair enough, she wanted them distracted so she could chat to you. It's not the finest parenting moment in the world, but hardly the worst either.

However, having them in loud is very unreasonable in a public place!

Both inappropriate and lazy parenting my 5yo doesn't use one pretty much ever and certainly not at the table.

As for her not paying their share

Jeez Louise this is the second one of these today!

An iPad, not great, but certainly not the worst crime ever. But this situation as you've described it? Disrespectful to EVERYONE concerned, not least the children. Hopefully a rare occurrence.

My children have never used an ipad ( though eldest may have at school once or twice). They are 6, 4 and 2. No child this age should be string like zombies at screens whether volume loud or not. Give me a good old fashioned tantrum any day.

sitting, not string

Ipads - fine so long as the volume is down or headphones are used.

I used to just talk to dd (who is an Aspie), and occasionally do some colouring, when we went to a restaurant.

on the table next to us in Ikea a few weeks ago, and aside from the annoying noise level I felt so sad seeing this child completely detached from the world around them

I also totally disagree with the noise, and there are headphone for goondess sake, just ask them to turn it down.

However - in ikea - on a tablet! Do you feel that boy is always glued to his tablet>? Or do you think he may actually do loads of activities, lots of educational and stimulating things in his day to day life and perhaps his dp wanted a few moments peace in ikea with him?

We dragged two dc through ikea the other day - it was HELL. Barely had a chance to look at anything and the child area was booked up.

There was a thread on dc on ipads a few months ago. Many dp do not have family to help them they never get out - the noise NO WRONG but please please stop looking and judging a dc on a bloody tablet for a while - whilst parents have a meal out!

Headphones OP get them Bluetooth headphones for Christmas. Massive hint to your stupid friend and will stop the annoying noise for others

I don't let my dd8 use the iPad out much but she's only allowed it with headphones.

However if I was in restaurant with totally un acceptable noise coming from iapd - have a discreet word with a waiter to ask them to turn it down!

She was rude as fuck. Unbelievable.

other parents who don't have this situation and do it just because they don't want to come up with more creative ways to try and entertain their child

I come up with creative ways to entertain my dc - day in and day out. I am a sahm and I have been with them every moment for a decade.

Occasionally I like to have a break too - and go out for a rare meal, a break and a meal out - does not mean me doing more to entertain my dc it means me having a few hours of as much peace as I can get.

And if the kids had been crawling under tables, screaming, shouting and making a scene people wouldn't be happy either
It's not either tablets or disruptive children, contrary to what people on the event thread about this say.

How on earth did people manage with well behaved children before you could subject the general public to peppa pig 24/7?

My friend has a child with SEND needs. They use a tablet when they're out. Magically, they manage to have the volume off/low or use headphones.

Parents who allow their children to have free reign in public are rude, whether that's shouting, screaming, running around or playing games/music from their tablets loud.