To tell my family/friends the wrong due date?

[poplocks]

This is definitely jumping the gun as I'm not even pregnant yet but DH and I are ttc. We both have very intense families and when our first was born this crazy behaviour from everyone put a LOT of pressure on an already intense situation. I recall pretending little one needed a feed and hiding in his nursery until they left. DH was amazing at telling them all to feck off after that but nonetheless it didn't stop them.
I'm hesitant to try again because it was that bad. Even when I was pregnant every day I would get texts asking, if I didn't reply in the hour I'd get phone calls asking if I've gone into labour... so after all my rambling would I be unreasonable tell them the wrong due date by a month?
I am a petite person and had fluid issues with my first so I was measuring 40 weeks at 30 weeks anyway.

I'd give them a due date at least 3 weeks later than the real one. They don't have to ever know you were lying so it won't hurt them and will help you at a stressful time.

How about just two weeks later than the actual due date? Then your child will not have been born prematurely and you never have to tell them you told a white lie. The women in my family naturally deliver two weeks before the due date and it is bliss. Especially since we didn't realise this is what we did untill I gave birth to the second one and then my mum said: "That's funny both you and your brother were born two weeks premature as well and so was I and my little brother". So my mum didn't call either to ask if it had happened yet.

In your situation it is entirely reasonable to tell a little white lie. You can always add that baby made an early appearance if necessary.

Don't tell them you are pregnant until at least your 12 week scan, if you find out it's sex; tell them you don't know. If you decide on a name, keep it to yourselves. Add on 3 weeks to your due date and don't call them that you are heading to the hospital. Wait until you get home to notify them that there is a new baby in the family. Let your DH manage visitors so that they are when you want them rather than when the family expect to turn up at your house. Ask a trusted friend to look after your older DC whilst you are the hospital so that you can contain who knows what and make it a stress free arrangement for you.

Thank you all for the replies. In laws are lovely most of the time but MIL turns CRAZY when it comes to babies. My parents are ok most of the time- we clash as they still seem to think I should do as I'm told. this has created a lot of distance in our relationship and I'm now telling them much less info about everything in my life. It wasn't like this before DS so that's also why it was probably so intense last time!