Tips on avoiding last minute wedding disasters

[Skarossinkplunger]

Wedding is in three weeks I think we're pretty much on top of plans but my brain keeps going over things that can go wrong. Anyone had any last minute disasters and any tips on what I can do to avoid them?

I get married on Friday. I've been very calm until now but am suddenly worrying about everything even though I know it'll be fine!

We decided a week before ours that, so long as we actually managed to get married, we'd cope with whatever shit happened on the day.

Our driver got lost in the way from the church to the reception, which led to us being quite late. And my FIL decided he didn't like our seating plan and wanted to mix it up a bit. We directed the driver back to the Embankment, and my parents simply intervened calmly to say that since we had chosen that plan, there had to be a reason, and put everything back as it was intended to be.

Oh, and we realised in the Thursday that the thing we'd forgotten that was most crucial was to buy a wedding ring. I spent my lunch break racing round trying to find one that would fit my chubby fingers and settled on a plain silver band for £12. I still wear it :)

The only thing that could have been a disaster was that my suitcase didn't get taken to the hotel for the wedding night, and I'd have had to go down to breakfast in my wedding dress if I hadn't been able to borrow some trousers from SIL.

So: make sure the driver has a map if needed instead of assuming they'd look up the route in advance, make sure nobody fucks with the seating plan, double check you have wedding rings, and make damn sure your suitcase gets to the hotel for the wedding night. And realise none of this would stop you actually getting married, which is what really matters in the day.

delegate! Our groomsmen were amazing and just dealt with everything if they were asked or noticed something with the caveat that we trusted them whatever they decided.

We only had two 'disasters' - my friend was doing mine and bridesmaids make up but had to leave to get ready herself before she'd had a chance to do the last bridesmaids. I was ready so I did it for her instead.

Second was DH hadn't thought to book us a taxi to hotel afterwards or to bring the overnight bag that we'd packed. Cue best man running around asking everyone if they had room in theirs. Eventually discovered another groomsman had booked a mini bus taxi just in case so we hopped in with him, nipped home, and made it to the hotel after dropping them off at their B and B.

If anything else happened then I have been totally shielded from it for 2 years.

DYAC. On, not in, several times over

Ok, we're staying at the venue so can't get lost. Rings were bought on Saturday so that's fine. If someone wants to change the seating plan they will have to prise it out of
my cold dead hand!

Thank you!

My bridesmaids are awesome and everyone is terrified of my mother so if anything goes wrong they'll handle it.

When my friends got married, the reception venue had recently changed hands and had no record of the booking. The groom's sister put on her very best teacher voice and sorted it. The best man had to come up with a few good excuses as to why sister was late, but the bride didn't even know there had been a problem until they came back from their honeymoon.

This is all great stuff. I knew I could rely on you lot!

squeaking That's bloody terrifying! Our venue have been in constant contact, they've been amazing.

The most important bit of advice I have is to say to yourself: whatever happens, WE. WILL. HANDLE. IT.

You can't control for all eventualities. It's natural to worry, because you want everything to be perfect. But something will probably not go quite to plan on the day - and when it does, you'll laugh it off and find a way through! Being surrounded by supportive people who love you is a huge talisman!

Just go with the flow and focus on the marriage rather than the one day of the wedding, don't be fixated on everything having to be perfect or you will go crazy!!! Aim to enjoy the day whatever happens.
The hotel I had booked for the reception went bust 8 days before our wedding day (August Bank Holiday).
I spent a few hours on the phone and we found somewhere else, most venues were very helpful and one pulled out all the stops for us and we ended up with a better location than the one we had booked. Fortunately we only lost £200 but it was a very stressful 24 hrs, I didn't even tell MIL until plan B had been sorted out!!!! No way would we have not got married though, even if we had to hire a local hall and cater ourselves, family and friends would have all pitched in to help.

I don't think there is much you can do. You can do as much preparing and so on as you like. But things may still happen.
We had a few issues. Biggest one was the hairdresser didn't turn up on the day. She assured me she was on her way, but never was (it was only my hair she was meant to be doing as my only adult bridesmaid was happy to and preferred to do her own). In the end, said bridesmaid (my best friend) had 10 minutes with my GHD's and a load of pins, to sort my hair out (it was meant to be half up half down, with a bump at the top to put my veil in, and curls down the back). I ended up having to have it straight. (Luckily I had my nails and eyebrows done the day before and i didn't wear any makeup at all).
Another one was one of the roses fell out my bouquet. I had a shower style bouquet, with 3 roses at the very bottom. The 2nd to last 1 fell out as I was walking up the steps outside the venue. We tried to put it back in so it stayed where it should have been, but it didn't work, so I ended up with a gap in my bouquet.
Also, we had a red velvet cake with white icing and was meant to be a white rose on each tier. The roses were Ivory.
Again all these things we didn't know about until the day, so it couldn't have been changed.

It was only small but a car full of relatives got lost on their way to the venue, and then couldn't find anywhere to park.
The car included Granny so we couldn't go ahead without them

So maybe make sure everyone knows where they are going, and reserve some parking near the door for any elderly relatives...

And I agree with other posters. You're getting married - that's the major thing here and you'll just be so excited about your marriage that anything going wrong will just seem trivial and probably make up the bulk of the funny wedding stories you remember fondly with a smile.

I had a friend who's veil blew away just as she was about to enter the church. For her, it was integral to her look. It literally blew around the church. It means there is fabulous video footage of the vicar, two bridesmaids and the photographer running around the church for ten minutes trying to get it back. She said afterwards if it had occurred to her before that it could happen she'd have worked herself up but when it actually happened it just gave her a huge giggle and calmed her right down before she went in to get married!

I would give someone you trust a contingency budget. If something needs fixing tell them they can spend £50/100/150 sorting it out to the best of their judgement without consulting you.

No veil, so that can't happen. But I would like to see the video!

Venue provides parking attendants so that's sorted.

Confirm with your photographer, ours was a mate doing us a favour - sent him an invite as well as he is a friend.

Didn't turn up but one of our guests stood in with their iPhone and we got everyone else to send us copies of their photos - it was not an issue, we laughed at the time and the photographer is still a disorganised friend of ours.

Clothes! I forgot to pack something to wear to breakfast on the morning of the wedding (staying at hotel). AND I forgot underwear to wear on the actual day (no bridal undies). So I wore a black thong under my big white wedding dress.

My DH was downstairs at the hotel venue when the flowers arrived, and sent a message up that they were wrong (but that he had let the florist leave). My cousin who is amazing went down and sorted it out (and told him to sit down and shut up). They were not wrong at all it was just my DH in a panic.

My DM, who had never been to a wedding before and was a bit adrift, nearly got makeup all over my dress but for my cousin (again) stepping in and rescuing it.

My DH couldn't be bothered with the photos and was really impatient, so we didn't get very many of us posing. I was excited about the reception so didn't push it - be insistent with your DH beforehand and explain to him that he will be bored and p1ssed off but he just has to put up with it as you will want plenty to choose from to capture the day.

Don't let anyone else's nonsense or drama get in the way of you having a good time - don't stress about the reception, just let someone else worry about it, and try not to think about the details.

And do a quick speech! Noone expects anything amazing and it will feel great to say a few words to your DH and your family.

Just remember no one knows all the little things you have planned so if the chair covers don't turn up, the table flowers are in the wrong style vase or the wrong reading is said in the service it doesn't matter. No one else noticed. As long as there was a wedding and there is food and drink (even if they're paying for it themselves) people will be happy.

Type up what is supposed to happen when, e.g. Paula the hairdresser (07234 XXXXXX) arriving at 10am. Make sure you include timings and phone numbers of the people involved. Print out a few copies and give to trusted members of your wedding party, e.g. Best Man, Chief Bridesmaid, etc. Give the Best Man's phone number (or someone else trusted) to all of your vendors and tell them that they are the point of contact.

Give people who want to help but are not part of the wedding party (sisters DP, Aunt Mary, etc) a specific job, e.g. making sure the top tier of the wedding cake is put in a tin and in a car after cake cutting; making sure that Great Aunt Sarah gets her cup of tea at the champagne reception, etc.

Tiny thing.

We were staying at our venue too. When we finally went to pick up the key to go to bed (our things had been taken up for us hours before) the reception staff asked for a credit card against the room. Bearing in mind the room and a full reception had been paid for in advance, I was in a big white frock and DH was in a hired morning suit ... For a start our cards etc were already in the room as we hadn't needed money all day. We were very obviously part of the wedding.

I can't remember how it was resolved (possibly a duty manager stepped in) but it was awkward and stressful at a point when really we just wanted to go to bed. Perhaps check with your venue how this kind of thing would work so you don't get stuck.

To avoid last minute disasters, leave as little as possible to the last minute. Pick up your outfits early (even if that means additional hire charges) and build in generous contingency for things like hair appointments.

The other tip is to agree a point beyond which stuff is not your problem and have named trusted people to delegate to, eg the venue has your mum's mobile, the vicar has the best man's, etc.

Actually, one of the last minute things I was most worried about turned out hilariously well: we were getting married in a very pedestrianised city in tourist season with half the remaining roads dug up for roadworks. We allowed lots of time for the car from my bm's house (where I was staying overnight) to the church, and as we were ready in good time and had no reason to hang about we left even earlier. Well of course what we hadn't factored in was the goodwill that exists towards brides ... When the workmen saw a big black car with white ribbons on they immediately turned their Stop/Go signs round and waved us through. We reached the church nearly half an hour early and had to go and hide round the corner, with me ducking down as we went past just in case (superstitious).

I left my wedding flowers at home by mistake. I borrowed flowers from a 6 year old bridesmaid for the photos. Honestly, none of this stuff matters at all. Just go with the flow

The only thing I regret about our wedding is that the photographer didn't take all the pictures we wanted... we'd sent him two e-mails (and discussed too vaguely) and he evidently only read one. Our fault really.

So when I checked he knew what photos we wanted - he was confident he did. Later I queried why he was stopping taking formal photos and he told me not to worry as he'd be taking more throughout the day... and he did take some but then he left... so we have loads of the venue, flowers etc which frankly I could have done without and me gazing off into the distance and none of all the guest children or us and our brothers. Also, he obviously thought my DH's cousins were beautiful as he took loads of them!

Lovely pictures - just not all what I'd have chosen.

We had a lovely day but I do get a little sad when I look at the album (so I don't!). On the day, I was too flustered to really realise what was happening until it was too late - I'd give a trusted relative or friend the job of running through the list with the photographer just before.

(Why would I want pictures of the bridesmaid putting on eyeshadow but my Grandfather had to practically wrestle him to the side to get a pic?)

Are you getting married in the south east? We're going to a wedding in 3 weeks and have just had to rethink our train travel as there's so much engineering work scheduled for the bank holiday weekend. So do watch out for local transport issues.